Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ~ Nelson Mandela 💜

June 7, 2018

That opening quote was used by an organisation called Faces and Voices of Recovery which partly inspired my Masters.

And so dear listener, I have decided that there is too much TV on TV – or at least too small a choice. You know what I mean – cop shows (altho’ I think 24 Hours In Custody (?) is brilliant), property shows and cookery shows. I also remember the early days of cable when scrolling down through a smaller number of channels would produce gems such as Chuck Norris, Troma (sp) TV and ten pin bowling from Milton Keynes. 🙂

But every so often you find a gem and this week it was the end credits to Springwatch – BBC’s live nature programme where one of the presenters is Michaela Strachan. She once gave me her mobile number. She’s probably changed it by now. ):

Anyway, one evening, just before a smashing TV prog about Charles Rennie Mackintosh was due to start, I switched the TV on.

Switching the TV on does help if you’re going to watch a TV programme altho’ I didn’t know it was going to be smashing.

And I caught the end credits of Springwatch and I saw a credit for nestfinders! How brilliant! I still watch end credits to see if I still know anybody and I also remember the excitement when my name was up there as Researcher or Assistant Producer…..and my short career as a co-presenter.

And I also remember going to see the ‘Scottish Film’ at the Phoenix in Linwood with J and we both, without discussing it, did not leave our seats until the credits had run. Respect for the people who worked on the film.

There were only about eight people in the cinema to begin with and so mumbly were the accents in the film that I had to confess that I was glad I already knew the plot. 🙂

Anyway. Springwatch credits. I was determined to see what other gems there might be – like nestfinders. There were none. It was all the usual stuff – and no less worthy of being up there. But I was a wee bit disappointed.

And then there was the mysterious case of Celtic Street in Maryhill not being where I thought it was. At one time it was the shortest street in Glasgow with a Corpie bus garage at the end of it (or was it the shortest in Britain? Or Europe? Or, well you get the picture). Well the bus garage had been knocked down many years since and a wall had replaced it. Celtic Street was no more. It had become a place where people could park their cars.

So UPS had tried to deliver a parcel to my sister and were unsuccessful but it could be collected from 3 Celtic Street but where was that? Google showed that what had once been a lane beside the Ram’s Head had now taken on the name of Celtic Street and it has a lot of houses built to well past the pub. Celtic Street was no longer the proud bearer of that Shortest Street title. ):

But Number 3? There was no giant warehouse to be seen and whilst I started buzzing tenement numbers randomly, my sister had the good sense to go into the newsagents next door and Lo and Behold, it was Number 3. It looks as if UPS might have a policy of lots of wee stores so that if they can’t deliver, then they do have a collecting point that is not a massive warehouse way on the other side of town

And finally, thanks to those who ask after my health. With the help of the NHS, I continue to cut back on medication but the latest one is tricky. For over eleven years I have used Omeprazole to control stomach reflux but I’ve to cut back on it gradually (no cold turkey) to let some other stuff do their jobs properly but it’s six weeks before I need to go and see a nurse again. And I’m due to see the rapping Dr J in about four weeks’ time. So, that’s good. 😀

Yes, I occasionally get tired after not much effort and yes, I occasionally am aware of my heart in a way I never was before but often I am still full of ‘get up and go’ after some really stressful occasions (putting the duvet cover on the duvet) and I’ve only had to use the spray on three occasions and even then one puff was enough.

Note to Skippy…..on 16th June I’m helping out at the Gaelic Sports Day in Pollok Park. Let’s pack one of the small seats and make sure I look out the team baseball cap and lots of water.

And next week I’ll tell you good my grand-daughter was in her first ever dance show at Clydebank Town Hall.

Tioraidh, still wearing that badge and still keeping it simple

Iaint850, still worrying why Love Island rejected me.

And I do believe the terminology in how we report and discuss health matters is important. That’s why I’m delighted to be going to ‘Health in the News: Fact or Fiction?’ this coming Thursday in Glasgow’s Royal Concert Hall. If anyone else is interested, then I think tickets are still available.

Having been labelled, I don’t like seeing others labelled. And the worry is that you begin to believe the label if enough people repeat it.

But I’m happy enough to ignore Loki’s references to ‘jakebaws’ just this once cos of his other remarks on BBC Question Time about how important Minimum Unit Pricing is for the Common Good.

Anyway, last week I played Charlie Daniels appearing on the Marty Stuart Show in the Grand Ol’ Oprey in Nashville and John Collins, a friend of mine who’s the drive time jock on Chris Country Radio, contacted me to say that Marty himself was possibly the best live act he’d ever seen.

Funnily enough J, still the blog’s favest librarian, said the same a wee while back after she’d seen him in Glasgow.

Ladies and gentlemen, for J and J, and everyone else, here’s Marty Stuart and the Fabulous Superlatives singing El Paso from Oran Mor in Byres Road Glasgow in 2017. I knew I had it somewhere 😀

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‘Whether you support the monarchy or not, the wedding was a wonderful expression of love that lifted spirits across the country and had diversity at its heart’ (Kezia Dugdale)

May 25, 2018

And so, dear listener, last week’s show was a wee bit on the serious side so I’m going to try to avoid that. Maybe dedicate it to a couple of folk. Purely hypothetically. 😀

Maybe celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary somewhere on the Iberian Peninsula. Maybe they had a humanist wedding by the very same tree at the hotel in Strathblane where Son Brian and the gorgeous KT had their wedding reception. 😀

Maybe I didn’t get there cos I was knackered after eight weeks of radiotherapy (exactly ten years ago this week) and I must thank this imaginary couple for all the help and support they have given me over these years. Thanks. 😀

And really pleased at how well my rhubarb was appreciated by all the young Gaels which was a David Bowie song….later he changed Gaels to Dudes.

All totally hypothetical. Except the Bowie bit. Possibly he wrote it on his famous visit to Cumbernauld Town Centre. 😉

Moving swiftly on.

And a mention for all the folk from my Post Grad of 2011-2013 and something I said in a class about AA and the Twelve Steps – which is the basic tool used within AA.

Apparently I made the point that my aim was for a time when no-one would know me as a ‘recovering’ or ‘recovered alcoholic’ – just ‘someone who didn’t drink’. Well that time came not long after but, recently, on a TV series called Genderquake (partly about transition and other gender issues), there was a contributor who asked, ‘when I can stop being trans and just be a man?’

I am proud that that story reminded a good friend of me. Thanks N x.

And I think what has made such a difference to me over those years has been the ability to meet people (okay women) on a friendly basis without anyone e.g. husbands and boyfriends or the women themselves panicking.

Not sure what that says about me but I’m eleven years five months older than looked possible in December 2006. So, yes, I may not drink but I still count the daze. 🙂

Always keeping it simple.

And my favourite piece of drama this week was the boiled egg eating scene in the Jeremy Thorpe drama. Do you hammer your eggs or do you slice them? And the subtlety of the glimpse of the petroleum jelly. But not in the same scene, I should stress.

Anyway I think I do prefer gluten free soy sauce and I’m perfectly happy with dairy free ice cream.

And Partick Thistle season tickets are about to go on sale so I will be buying one and I do hope that, healthwise, things are settled enough for me to go to games altho’ I long ago lost my seat in the charabanc for away games to young Sam…and deservedly so. 🙂

And it’s really weird having an early morning look at Facebook and seeing a photo of your main road and the entrance to your cul-de-sac and the headline;

Armed police swoop on flat in dawn raid in quiet Summerston street’

It was 6.20 and my neighbour was out walking her dog. Heavily armed police.

Drugs? Stashed in the graveyard? Connection with recent fatal shootings? And the white Audi? It was taken away.

Will it be in The Digger this week?

Still moving swiftly on.

And subway station platforms like Cessnock do worry me a wee bit. They seem awful narrow and remind me a wee bit of the rope ladders between trees at Go Ape where there was just a wee bit of 3-2-1- Go! and I was fine. 🙂

I’d be too scared to do that again.

And I didn’t know, despite my great use of the UWS Library in Paisley (all sorts of reasons) that it has a Special Collection. It chose to tell the world on Twitter that its collection of Philip Roth was kept there and chose to illustrate that with a pic of Portnoy’s Complaint! Cheeeeeky! 😉

But even now I pretend I’m back in there (it’s all changed now) at the table by the window that overlooked the entrance to the Robertson Building and idly searching through Google Scholar. Honest. There was a reason but finding stuff was a good feeling.

And I know I’m not the only person who, when North Korean expert Prof R. Kelly is on TV spends more time looking at the door to his study than at him.

I still can’t watch it without laffing

And finally I’ve got the new script for my Prostate Cancer presentation and I promise to stick to it word for word and when I get to the bit where I say ‘one man dies of prostate cancer every forty-five minutes’ I will not look at my watch, look round the room slowly and say ‘the clock is ticking.’

Tioraidh, still proudly wearing that badge and still proudly keeping it simple.

Iaint850, ‘old enough to know better; too young to resist’ (lifted from Steve Cropper who co-wrote Dock of the Bay)

And publishing that quote from Kezia does not necessarily mean I agree with her but for me freedom of speech means I listen to opposing viewpoints without being vindictive, vile and abusive.

So I’ve a lost a pre-loved (second hand) CD I purchased recently. It was a compilation of different line dancing tunes and dances. And was planned as a standby present. (Some things I don’t analyse). So I trawled through YouTube and I found this. It’s not the most exciting but I know which one I’d be. Look to the right of the screen and the lazy, languid fella, both his thumbs in his pockets, looking every inch a ‘two-bob gangster’. That’d be me. And according to Alice with whom I worked, I was never that. 😉

Nothing is pleasant that is not spiced with variety (Francis Bacon)

May 19, 2018

And so, dear listener, as some of you know, I had applied for a gig as a volunteer. I won’t name the organisation but suffice to say that they are a council based within Scotland who look after refugees and have a festival coming up at the end of June for which they required volunteers for a range of roles. 🙂

There was no individual interview but we were observed during an ice breaker exercise and breaking into groups with a flip-chart sheet. I asked for, and received, feedback. This is part of it.

‘In terms of feedback, you were a pleasure to get to know, and of course more than qualified and experienced to carry out a volunteer role in the third sector – however often decisions to select volunteers are taken on the basis of what the role has to offer to the particular candidate, at least that is a factor we consider at XXX. This is true particularly with regards to this role, which does not require advanced English or computer skills, and is therefore one of our more inclusive roles for someone who would find it hard to get into a volunteer role in an office setting. I’m not saying that you are over-qualified for the role, rather that other people in the room would benefit more from this development opportunity.
The only, and very slight, feedback I would give you is that while it was great to see your clear enthusiasm to spend time with people and your energy, we did also feel that your natural gregariousness meant that people around you ended up being very quiet both in the group work and the presentation afterwards.’

Is that me as you know me? I am young. I can only learn. 😉

I wish them the best of luck and that’s filled a fair amount of my word count for this week. I did say to some people afterwards that I may have come across as a mouthy Glaswegian – which I’m not. I’m originally from Peterhead. 😀

Which reminds me……I’m doing a Prostate Cancer Information talk in Kilmarnock Job Centre later this month. My friend, the rainforestriverman, does inspirational talks as well. His latest was in Sao Paulo. A previous visit to Kilmarnock saw me at the Sheriff Court bailing three people out. Their ‘Not Guilty’ plea was accepted at a later date. (icon for phew!!!!!)

I remember one Saturday morning at the Sauchiehall Street project being in the laundry room when a big Orange Walk was going past. It seemed to be the pit stop where they replaced the lambeg drummer with a fresh lambeg drummer and I was asked to explain what was happening by two refugees. I did my best but failed.

Anyway, can you excuse me for fifteen minutes while I walk very slowly downstairs and sit in a very relaxed fashion before I take my blood pressure. The evening score is about 130 over stuff but it’s between 150 and 160 in the morning but that is oh so much better than it was a wee while ago. 🙂

And I’ve got this dreadful feeling that this might come across as a seriously serious blog and I’m no fun. I mean, I occasionally put a bet on in what are deserted bookies’ shops these days cos so many folk do it online these days (just like Ray Winston suggests we do) and it’s only the FOBT machines that are being used and I don’t know how they work. And, yes, I did once see a homeless person put a £100 note, which he said he’d ‘found’, into a machine in one punt. He lost it. Twenty seconds and it was gone. ):

But what do I know? Four (?) years ago I put £10 on Scotland to vote for Independence. It’ll be many years before that appears on my Fixed Odds coupon again. And at least one policy for Independence would be good. And a strong leader.

And finally, Mao Tse Tung was the Long March – not the long walk. I’ve been feeding people duff info about Windsor’s Communist credentials all week.

Tioraidh, still wearing that badge and still keeping it simple, even if it’s not.

Iaint850, I mean me – ‘gregarious’? Chance would be a fine thing.

So, as I write this, I don’t know what division Partick Thistle will be in next season but you, reading this, probably do. I’ve been to very few games this season for a combination of reasons; periodic depression and the cardiac event at the turn of the year.

I will be buying a season ticket and I will make my return at the start of the season. A couple of seasons ago I went to the first game of the season with e and AJ and we were in the Jackie Husband Stand and very relaxing it was. Maybe I should do that again. Just to get started. 😀 😀 😀

Take a mum and her child. No. Not a random mum off the streets. No. One I know…….Skippy! Draw up a list. Under 16s go free.

And this, musically, is a special request for the rainforestriverman (I know. Who’d have thought?) who came very close to giving me away at my wedding – it’s a long a story and Johnny Walker Black Label played a part. It’s the ‘legendary’ Iron Maiden.

‘At the height of my drinking, my life was in a delicate balance between wilful delusion and procrastination. Sometimes it still is.’ (Darren ‘Loki’ McGarvey)

May 10, 2018

Sums me up these days. Without the drinking. It’s all so quiet. I wonder what I said. Oooops. Light’s on. Mic’s live. Let’s go.

And so, dear listener, the deep cleaners have been, deep cleaned and have gone. And what an excellent job they have done…..but it was such a strange feeling. For the second half of the day, I was at home; they had ‘done’ the upstairs and were ‘doing’ the downstairs half of the house. And I could hear the hoover, sorry, the vacuum cleaner, and cupboards being emptied and re-stocked and water running as basins were being filled and I couldn’t help but notice how shiny and sparkly the bathroom shower cabinet was compared to what I had left that morning and the fronts of all the kitchen cabinets and behind the washing machine (altho’ they had switched off a spur switch which caused a mild panic but I only had to switch it back on and everything was fine) and so much else. 😀

They took some piles of papers and made bigger piles and it took me all day to find the hair dryer and small things like that but it was all done with the best intentions and you should see (if you’re passing) how clean the kitchen door is on the inside. 😀 😀

And now all I have to do is to keep it tidy. Or get them back in, in a year’s time……naw…..I’ll do more than keep it tidy; I’ll keep it clean. 😉

I don’t really want to advertise their services that much but let’s just say they were Jolly Maids from Paisley……where lots of good things come from. 🙂

And I celebrated with dairy-free ice cream which was very nice (particularly given the current vanilla crisis) and Morrisons’ strawberries but if we were to get a decent run of sun, then I might be picking my own fruit. (And I still have the Earl Grey tea)

You can learn from folk coming over for their tea. I’m still using the gluten free soy sauce.

Oh, and are any of my friends out there fans of the Pretenders – Chrissie Hynd’n’that?

And as well as it being International Dawn Chorus Day during the week (thanks Ann) it was also Teacher Appreciation Day and I think the teacher that had the greatest influence on me was a history teacher called Ian Hall who recognised that I had ambitions beyond Peterhead, in journalism and maybe politics, and who would argue with me and force me to argue back – logically. This was before the disaster that is social media when it comes to respecting other people’s viewpoints.

And there was an English teacher called Hugh McLeod who drunkenly introduced me to Irish nationalism and the writings of James Connolly when I was in First Year in Secondary School. Mr Hall was against Irish nationalism and read the Telegraph.

Mr McLeod also gave me a copy of Ring of Bright Water.

And finally, just a wee word about International Birdsong Day. I did pass on one story about an early morning in Charing Cross when I’d to leave the project where I was working after a twelve hour shift finished at five in the morning.

But there was another occasion about half past four in the morning when I’d taken a taxi up the road (not sure why I finished at that time) but it was bit icey and the taxi wasn’t sure about the hill up to my house. So I walked.
Just me. And a couple of foxes. And a very still night. With dying street lights. And some stars in the sky. And some birdsong from over the graveyard. It was one of those mornings when I was in no hurry to get home.

I kinda miss the twilight hours.

Tioraidh, still wearing that badge (and a wee story that I’ll maybe tell next week) and keeping it simple. And why not?

Iaint850, who’s a wee bit worried he may have come over as a mouthy Scot earlier this week. Only time will tell.

And the odd person still asks, from time to time, how my health is. Mentally, I think Loki got it right.

Physically, I’m fine and may not be doing a triathlon this year but I’m in pretty good nick. And good fun to be with!

And then there’s the medication.

The brilliant rapping consultant Dr J and my equally brilliant health centre pharmacist have spoken. To each other.

And basically we’re looking at cutting back on my large list of prescribed drugs, especially anything that is left over from Cold Turkey days. And some from the immediate aftermath of the cardiac event. It’s about making a new balance work.

Already gone are the Vitamin B and Thiamine which are usually the first thing you get to help you through post alcohol dependency and to build you up. Your immune system has taken ‘one helluva beating’ and there’s some short term stuff as well.

I never had anything post cancer.

And amongst other stuff to go from post-cardiac event medication is ticagrelor; and then I’ve to give it two – three weeks and come off Omeprazole – which sounds as if it might be ‘very unpleasant’. In fact the way it’s been described to me, it’s like coming off heroin which is pretty horrible but not as bad (or so I’m told) as coming off of alcohol. But it could last a lot longer.

But I’d like to know your views. Anonymity guaranteed. BUT I do know it’s going to be tough. After all it’s there to control stomach problems, so if it’s not there………..

So what makes a good Eurovision winner? This previous winner has everything. A pleasant ballad with a catchy chorus and a wee dance routine.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. (Marcus Tullius Cicero)

April 26, 2018

And so dear listener, I feel a wee bit this week as if I’ve been playing Doctors and Nurses……but on my own.

Skippy! I can explain!

It was explained to me by the rapping Dr J that my cardiac problem may be something to do with high blood pressure so on Monday just past I got the call to go down to my health centre (altho’ I let all of Maryhill use it) and get my blood pressure tested. It’s high but let’s not rush into anything. ):

So I was lent a blood pressure monitor (and I genuinely did tell a couple of people that I was doing my own blood transfusion. I got confused) and I have been carrying out my own blood tests. They’re even higher! And then I started to make sure I was calm and collected before I did a test and they were just high. Phew…..

Mind you, given the problems from my bank of all my life (TSB) I realised that it is best to choose relaxed times of day to do these tests (two) and ignore the landline phone when it rings. I would say that 50/50 it’s still a real call and worth answering.

I won’t quote figures publicly but if you do have a nursing background and are interested let me know. You are more than welcome and I’m happy with any opinions. 🙂

Y’know recovering from the alcohol and the cancer was an awful lot easier.

And it is a wee bit like previous times in that I need to get out much more than I’m doing just now although one reason for that is a good wee run of editing but, leaving aside the blood pressure, I am in good nick now that it’s good weather (that was hail the other afternoon!) But I’m past being ‘on the mend’; I’m good to go. 😀

Mind you, with the cold turkey recovery, I had a job to go back to and I had an amazing addiction worker; in the case of the cancer my thirty-seven daily radiotherapy sessions were made so much easier by my fellow patients and NHS staff who were such a good laugh over that time. 😀 😀 😀

Ach, I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I still have that ‘stuck in the house/hospital’ feeling that I’ve had since the start of 2018 altho’ I have done a lot of brilliant walking in the West End of Glasgow with, and without, Holly the Dog. And e. Any other offers? I remember doing Millport a couple of years ago. 🙂

The reason I’m in that mood is cos I watched The Cancer Hospital on the BBC the other night. It was one of the few docs I’ve seen in recent years where the lack of a presenter worked as Dougie Henshall’s v/over was essentially underplayed so that the voices of the women had to be listened to.

Obviously I know those corridors altho’ my treatment happened in the Thomas Wheldon building next door and the other thing I remember is arriving early so I could go for a walk around Bingham’s Pond before my treatment – just to calm down. That was when I started to grow my hair slightly longer. 😉

This coming week it’s prostate cancer.

I should watch more comedy.

I did, however, watch the prog about Harold Shipman. Remember the good Doctor W? That was where her interest in medico-crime came from. She did write a book on the subject. I helped. A little. I wonder if it was ever published?

Should I maybe try and find out?

And finally, atm I have no idea as to whether TSB online is working properly and full-time and nor, I suspect. do they.

Tioraidh, still wearing that badge (how long is that now?) and still keeping it simple.

Iaint850, I don’t have much money but I’ve never looked at my bank accounts as much as I’ve done recently.

So it’s now thirty years since the Glasgow Garden festival but my interest in garden festivals was aroused four years earlier when my then wife and I were taken by friends to the Liverpool Garden Festival and I thought it was brill. 🙂

A few weeks later I took BBC Radio Scotland’s Jimmy Mack Show with presenter Jimmy Mack and production assistant Jeanette down to Liverpool to do the show from there but Jimmy was late in arriving for a slot on BBC Merseyside and I had to stand in for him. I was good but remained a producer. 😉

I then spoke ‘informally’ to people from the Scottish Development Agency about getting the BBC involved in the Glasgow event but I was too ‘informal’ and was quite shocked when a senior producer later said that he had had the first contact with the organisers but ‘they seemed well organised for BBC broadcasting ideas.’

When it comes to ‘informal’ where I was concerned, then read ‘lights well hidden under a bushel’. However, I did okay for season tickets and was offered a job by the PR consultancy that the Festival PR people all went and joined. I turned it down and later, the building in which that office was located became the home for the Blue Triangle Head Office and there’s a wee memory just come back. Knowing smile icon. 😉

Anyway, I had the immense pleasure of producing the (for radio) Royal Opening with Charles and Diana with my presenters (Jimmy Mack and Mary Marquis), reporters Lesley Riddoch, Christine Kinnear and Kevin Ruane (?) and production team of me, Max, Jayne and Amanda.

And I got a Pringle sweater with the Garden Festival logo and my name on it. Wore it once.

Live broadcasting and the memories, eh? 🙂

But here’s a John Martyn cover from an up and coming band of whom I think highly. If they turn up in your neck of the woods, go see them. What? No. I don’t know any of them. Honest guv! The Rain Kings featuring Neil Turner.

One of my favorite things is to have a three-hour conversation over coffee with someone (Andy Grammer)

April 6, 2018

And so dear listener, there are some moments when you wish you were part of a TV drama rather than grim reality, aren’t there? Well, there are for me. See me, see fantasies. 😉

I happened to be seated in Central Station the other day when a woman (mid-thirties?) sat two seats down from me with hood pulled down and scarf pulled up. A few minutes later a man with beard, two cases and two young children with rucksacks turned up and stood next to woman who says nothing. Man with beard says something and woman lowers scarf and single word replies. Children say nothing but you can see by their silent eyes they are aware that something is not right.

Man with beard takes son away somewhere but young girl just looks at mum and then it’s time for me to go. See if I did live in a TV drama, I’d have lent over and said to the wee girl, ‘Give your mum a hug. She needs one.’

Except, I’d probably have been arrested. 😦

The fact that I do live in a very real world at the moment was emphasised by an aborted train trip to Helensburgh. Which is a smashing train journey – particularly Bowling. 🙂

However, the bit between me parking my car at the tennis club and actually getting to Hyndland Railway Station saw me hit by horrible windy rainy wet snowy snow and I was shivering by the time I got to the ticket bit. I made the decision to cancel the trip, bought newspapers from the kiosk there and then drove gently home – not a problem.

Then, once I got indoors, I started breathing heavily (No. There was no-one there to greet me). I’d made it home safely so relaxing means breathlessness kicks in. So I had some of my spray. They are very nice blue lights that seem to accompany each whiff. I felt settled. 😀

Cos my heart’s not pumping properly (but it’s not dangerous) then there is a circulation problem. Strange. In my days as a PR person, I used to be able speak to everyone in a room in just a matter of minutes – and make sure their drinks were topped up. No problems with circulation then.

So I have heart tests and a consultant’s consultation next week. I have four basic questions to ask and the standby question is, ‘why do so many of my medications (two out of fourteen pills) warn against me taking grapefruit juice?’

But I do reckon a wee spell of dry, sunny weather would make such a big difference – not just to me but to everyone. 😀

I think a combo of an honest appraisal of my heart and better weather is the psychological boost I need.

Mind you, in some ways, I think this is harder than the cancer and the alcohol. It is also why I’ve not been making it to Partick Thistle. A couple of hours standing in the rain. I can’t mention the football cos I’ve not seen it.

Also, in the real world, my washing machine seems a bit unhappy and I’ll never trust a weather forecaster again…….or maybe it gets ‘milder’ when I’m not looking.

People whom I trust in the Facebook community – Tricia and Debbie – suggest it’s the filter which according to the YouTube community is hidden by a panel at the front. I think it would be sensible to get someone in to help me move the machine….a neighbour maybe. Except, since I started writing this, I’ve done a washing and it was okay………maybe cos it was a smaller washing?

But it’d be nice to show the neighbour the flowers I was given for Easter. 🙂

I can also show them my mobile phone which is back up and working thanks to my son who fixed it whilst I was across playing with my grandchildren on Easter Monday. 😀

But congrats to the rainforestriverman on the birth of a second grandchild – a granddaughter this time. 😀 😀 😀

And I also had an interesting chat with someone from UWS (Paisley) in UWS (Paisley) which gave me some good ideas and I also had an interesting chat with someone else from UWS (Paisley) in Tinderbox in Prince’s Square which offered some interesting food for thought. My friend, that is; not Tinderbox which does do cakes but we passed.

Right. That’s the happy stuff out of the way.

And finally, thanks for the suggestions as to what I should do next in my life. A couple of people suggested a return to residential care through relief banks and whilst there was much I enjoyed in doing that, I think the days of me charging out of the office to go settle an issue elsewhere in the project have long since gone.

To recap;
I’m looking for ideas for appropriate paid part-time work, or appropriate voluntary work, or an appropriate course.

And that’s the basic rules of the game.

Tioraidh, still wearing that badge and still a great believer in keeping it simple 😉

Iaint850, still not sure what has happened to me

So this month’s favourite story of the week? 😀

It’s the one where the wee primary schoolgirl in Kilmarnock did a lovely wee picture of her mum – lying in bed suffering from a Prosecco hangover – sorry, ‘horrible juice’ hangover. And the teacher had even corrected the wee girl’s grammar before adding,

‘Oh I hope she feels better soon’

And a further quote from the mum;

‘It could have been worse. She (the daughter not the teacher) kept walking in on me with my head over the toilet so at least that wasn’t in the picture.’

All I will say, as an estranged dad who continued to attend parents’ nights even after the separation, it’s amazing what could be learned from a primary schoolchild’s diary of the week.

And that’s all I’m saying.

So I recently bought five CDs of Bonnie Raitt for a tenner. Raitt has received 10 Grammy Awards. She is listed as number 50 in Rolling Stone’s list of the “100 Greatest Singers of All Time” and number 89 on the magazine’s list of the “100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time”.

This is she

“Life is like chocolate: you should enjoy it piece for piece and let it slowly melt on your tongue.”

March 29, 2018

And so dear listener this is Easter Weekend and as I sit here and type out these words (Friday afternoon), the words of doom uttered by Thomas Schaffeneker (sp) have not yet come to fruition. It was he, a few days ago, who elaborated at great length about the 6 to 10 days forecast and how cold it might be for us this particular few days. It is, it seems, about to happen but I much prefer people like Gillian Smart and a very tall guy called Chris Fawkes/Fox who appreciate how fed up we have become with the weather and who emphasise words like ‘milder’ and ‘snow over the highest of hills.’ 🙂 I think I’m still happier with the next day forecast.

But I do accept that change in weather forecasting can happen very quickly. It’s maybe that speed of change and how it reaches us that affects my feelings about the way it’s presented. And I shall, forever, apportion part of the blame for my ‘cardiac event’ on the cold weather. And the paper cut to my right index finger.

And, yes, I too have noticed the demise of the word ‘Easter’ on various chocolate egg containers but I’ve also been guilty of eating the contents. I’m way overweight and whilst it’s good that I’m doing the walking I do I reckon I could easily lose half a stone in old money. I’ve let too many people tell me I look fine. It’s time to do something about it. Once I’ve had that last toffee crisp that’s in the fridge just now. 😉

And even more frightening is the fact that I recently looked in the mirror and I didn’t like what I saw (seriously, Debbie). I felt I had aged dreadfully – more 45 than 42.

But it’s easy putting things off just now. In a couple of weeks’ time I have some heart tests e.g. an ECG, and a conversation with the heart failure (!) consultant and I’ve a few questions to ask. The only residual I have is some tiredness and breathlessness at times – particularly in the house (?). I’ve only used that spray twice and the second time was in the house. OMG! It’s bitter and powerful and the pharmacist warned me against mixing it with some other stuff.

And I need to think about getting out of the house on a more regular and meaningful basis. Don’t get me wrong. I’m enjoying catching up with folk even if some things do get cancelled at short notice for jolly interesting reasons.

But I need something more;

An appropriate regular part-time job; or

Appropriate voluntary work; or

Serious writing but for whom?; or

An appropriate course……..

Someone suggested learning to play the guitar or studying Italian painting. Have I ever shown interest in those?

But mine is not a closed mind. But regular listeners know where my interests lie.

Any and every suggestion will be considered and there is a prize.

This is not a competition on Facebook offering a new mobile home as a prize by a company which has no profile on Facebook or real Google presence. I would have said something but why shatter the dreams of the nine and a half thousand people who had already entered. This was not Facebook’s fault.

But what job could I do?

For example, there’s a well-known D-I-Y chain which is known to employ ‘slightly’ older people but I’m not the world’s greatest D-I-Yer. If I was asked anything, I’d have to excuse myself and phone Kenny the Shed Pimp.

But on the workfront well done on promotion, or new job, to Ann from Prostate Cancer and Missie K. The furthest I ever got at the BBC was acting Senior Producer but I did know Viv Lumsden and Alan Douglas long before they became an item. I didn’t work on Rep Scot but knew the newsroom from when I worked on Nationwide. I was always made welcome there. I did get a lift up the road from Paddie on one occasion and was always part of the battle to open the door for Mary. 😀

And Ann, did you know that the building in which the bar Stereo lives was designed by Rennie Mackintosh and was home to the Daily Record for a while?

I could become a tour guide and bore for Scotland.

And finally, I was a wee bit distressed that numeracy standards have fallen so much that we’re to have a National Numeracy Day (16th May). I think we’ve had them before but tbh, I’ve not been counting.

Tioraidh, still wearing that badge and it’s always nice to get a wee wave.

Iaint850, described by one academic as a ‘serial recoverer’.

So (sorry Rosie) I saw Jeremy Kyle on TV the other night and he was doing some kind of bish bosh bash investigative reporting series in which he found Class A dealers within seconds and the anonymity they were granted was on condition they wore stupid masks and had their voices slo-mo’d down.

He spoke to a former policeman who is now involved with LEAP (Law Enforcement Against Prohibition) and he (Kyle) seemed surprised when the polis suggested legalisation of the drugs trade. Not liberalisation or relaxation or giving the stuff away. Legalisation.

The very word ‘legalisation’ suggests legal controls and how can that be bad? Maybe a system similar to licensing the sale of alcohol with minimum age limits, control of premises and control of quality of what is sold? Is that such a bad notion?

The alternative is what we have just now where the drugs trade is outside the law, run by criminals for profit who will sell anything to anyone of any age and mental stability without any quality control.

The result? 867 deaths last year related to the use of street Valium or blues or fake diazepam…….Legal or illegal?

I know which saves lives.

This is Joan Baez right up to date and proving she still has an amazing voice and a social conscience

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot stop Spring from coming (Pablo Neruda)

March 9, 2018

And so dear listener, what did you do when the Polar Vortex became the Beast from the East? Me? I cooried in and relied on neighbours to keep me supplied with bread and milk. As a consequence I still have a giant two litres of milk which is best before 23rd March. 🙂

My own back-up plan for when things went bad was a pack of six petit pains – y’know, you splash water over them and shove them in the oven and they come put piping hot and you just slice them open and put some form of spread in them and then just let it all drip down your lips and, and (What, Skippy, I’m not reading anything into what I’ve just written) 😉

Anyway, you also become quite inspirational in a Ready, Steady, Cook kinda way. My favourite was a couple of leerdammer slices in an omelette. Very pleasant.

My own situation?

Well I was supposed to meet up with a heart ‘temporary suspension of normal service’ consultant last week (and thanks to friend Carrie for the description – much better, if slightly longer than ‘failure’) but it was postponed for various weather related-issues and will be re-scheduled. In a way that’s reassuring. 🙂

In the four or five days before I made my own 999 call I had chest pains, breathlessness, giddiness and all that kinda stuff and then as soon as I popped the four aspirin that the call handler told me to, and the three shots of morphine that were jagged into me at the Royal, I began to settle. 😀

It’s high blood pressure and a leaky aortic valve; it’ll be medication and observation. I’ll be fine. I’ve had a shock and it’s time (yet again) to take stock. I have a spray which is to be used if I have pains or breathlessness and if it doesn’t work after a couple of uses then I phone 999. (I should maybe tell people and take it with me)

I’ll pick up on the walking again (and there is snow still lying in my cul-de-sac) and there’s nothing left to give up on the food and drink front. I know people who drink alcohol who tell me I should drink de-caffinated coffee.

Eh?

The pescatarianism has taken a wee bit of a knock. Apart from anything else you need fish – something lacking in the shops near me at the best of times – and I do appreciate NHS food and chose fish when it was available but I’ve been down the baked potato route as the regular vegetarian option before. 🙂

So my treat to myself on my first shopping after the hospital, and outwith Summerston, saw me buy scallops. And I bought a vegan cook book recently. I plan to do some vegan cooking but not as a lifelong commitment but as a way of varying my diet. But in the way that I once didn’t realise that soy sauce contained glutens, I didn’t realise how much of my diet currently involves dairy products. Maybe, now the snow’s done, I should go to a vegan fair and see what’s on offer. 😀

And finally, and I’m going to treat this as an early birthday present from my sister, I’m going to indulge myself in the warmer weather. I’m currently hoovering the grit off the living room floor, the kitchen floor is caked in dirt but I’ll move it and why are there so many mushrooms on the patio table?

I’m going to make enquiries and engage a firm of cleaners for a one-off deep clean of the house. Any recommendations? And I stress it’s a one-off and it’s a birthday pressie.

Cya, still wearing that badge and still intending to continue to keep it simple.

Iaint850, looking for that list of revolutions for 2018 that I did at the start of the year.

And, so, two things made me laugh in Morrison’s Car Park on Tuesday morning.

The first came from friend Nessa, who was part of that amazing Post Grad Alcohol Studies group that made me the man I am today and whose honorary members include e, j, Dr W and Debs……and probably Carrie as well.

Nessa, you need to get out more (lol)

She was saying that every time she watches Taggart on STV 2, whenever she gets to the football episode set in Maryhill and Taggart (Mark McManus) says the immortal words, ‘There’s a murder every second Saturday at Firhill’, she thinks of me.

I’ve not been for some time but that is incentive to go back.

But the biggest laugh of the last few days came on the George Bowie Breakfast Show when a woman (from Falkirk) posed the question that Nicola Sturgeon (and other politicians) has never dared ask; ‘See when the weather’s bad, instead of stocking up on bread and milk, why don’t we stock up on Pot Noodles? After all, they just need hot water and last for ages.’

You can’t argue with that, can you?

So in tribute to George’s amazing show, we all know that Bits & Pieces is an official Scotland anthem. I dance to it all the time when sober. Therefore, I dance to it all the time. Like this.

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water. (Reiner)

March 1, 2018

And so dear listener, I was going to write about this being the tenth anniversary of me starting my radiotherapy and how it worked for me, and prostate cancer. But I’ve calmed down a wee bit since I heard Stephen Fry say this;

‘One (option) was for radiotherapy but that was a really long and difficult process. I mean it’s fine for some people but there are a number of issues with it for me.’

And he did not explain what those issues were. 😦

Jeffery Archer, Michael Parkinson and friend and media academic Ken Garner did explain their reasons this week for not choosing radiotherapy and that’s cool. The trust in your consultant was also important for me. And radiotherapy does take a long time but I was only 52/53 and had plans for my prostate. 🙂

I chose to go NHS (and met a brilliant bunch of men and women) and I chose radiotherapy; Stephen chose a different route and a different treatment.

And incidentally, Stephen, the word is ‘penis’ – not ‘todger’. I had to look that up.

Best wishes, Stephen, and I hope it all goes well for you. And I take great hope from the fact that you married someone thirty years younger than you. Well, I’m not so sure about the marriage bit but other than that, thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

Naw, there are much more interesting people to write about – people who contribute much more to society. 😀

Selfishly, for example, how would the ambulance and paramedics have got to me the other early morning in the conditions we’ve had this week? I suspect they would have managed. 🙂

And my neighbour across the road who is a home help has just walked down the road to join the Cordia cars (an arm’s length organisation from the council who provide peripatetic social care) to see what they can do to help despite the bad weather.

And Carol who works in an old folks home who seems to have just stayed there and continued to look after the folk in her care. 🙂 As did many people in health and social care or who worked in a different project from usual but closer to home.

I used to park my car at the bottom of the hill so at least I could get in. And there was one lovely winter’s morning when I finally got away at 4.30 but the taxi I got couldn’t take me up the hill but it was such a lovely walk – just me and the foxes and the street lamps reflecting in the snow. 😀

And I realised just how bad the weather was on Wednesday when I went out to the blue bin and couldn’t get back to the house. Seriously. I turned round to go to the door and the blizzarding snow hit me full frontal and I could not see through my glasses and I started to bump into other bins amidst snow that was several feet deep cos that was how deep the wind had blown it. I have four. All different colours. 🙂

It was blue bin day on Thursday but none of my neighbours bothered – so I didn’t. The snow in the cul-de-sac was really deep. The wind has nowhere to blow the snow so it’s just piled up.

And I did have an important meeting on Thursday which I had to cancel (well a good friend I hadn’t seen for some time) but I knew it wasn’t going to happen when, on Tuesday afternoon, Scotrail told me they were cancelling Summerston trains on Wednesday and Thursday.

And I think this is where Facebook and other social media have come into their own. I saw people with 4 x 4s offering to help people if they needed to go to hospital; people whose gardens (somehow) backed on to the M80 telling people to come in for cups of tea and pizza; and of course telling the world to tell homeless people where to go for shelter but homeless people – whether they’re in B & Bs which kick them out at nine in the morning, or supported accommodation which doesn’t, or hostels which are dry and safe away from nosey social workers wanting to do good (lol), or rough sleeping – are here all year round.

And finally, a tribute to all those people at Groupon who, no matter what the weather or the time of day, stick to their task of advising me of all their offers.

Tioraidh, still wearing that badge and still keeping it simple

Iaint850, dangerously close to running out of chocolate – where is that ice cream van?

On Friday all the folk in the cul-de-sac where I live got out and started clearing the snow from the actual street and I did join them but wasn’t allowed to do any work. However, I now have a wee path from my front door to the road. So I decided to make use of the path in the afternoon and go for a wee walk with my neighbour and her wee dog who disappeared in the snow.

We had barely made it into the next street when we realised that there was a lot of slithering going on as cars tried to cope with going up and down a treacherous hill. Again I wasn’t allowed to help with pushing (I feel a fraud) but looked after the wee dog.

Later that afternoon a woman in a red anorak, who I do not know, delivered milk, bread, cold meat, soup and home made cakes. The message? ‘Mary told me to get them’ and she did the same for across the road……..What Can I say?

So here’s a wee joke to cheer you up and I’m giving credit to friend Rosie for it.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ‘In all my years of tending bars, I’ve never, ever served a weasel. What can I get you to drink?’

‘Pop’, goes the weasel.

And just to mark how bad the weather was this week, here’s the Beach Boys with White Out

What? Seriously? Well, it’s too late now.

Helping one person might not change the whole world, but it could change the world for one person (anon I think)

February 22, 2018

And so dear listener, I now know what the Tyre Pressure light looks like on my car’s dashboard. And what it does.

And it stays on despite switching the car on and off four times. 😦

It tells me that I have a screw impaled in the tyre on the driver’s side and I ain’t going anywhere. 😦

I phoned the AA (Automobile Association) and they came out and asked if I had a spare tyre and I said no I had a kit (cos new cars don’t have spare tyres) and we just looked at each other and it was a Sunday morning and so he drove me down to a well-known tyre and exhaust centre in Anniesland and they were very good (and you didn’t expect me to say that, did you?).

Now it may have helped that I was their first customer on a Sunday morning and I told them exactly what I wanted and I did not leave the place until it was all done and it only took twenty minutes and it was a wee bit more expensive that I’d like to have paid at the moment but, hey, it’s done. 🙂

And I remained calm and sanguine for the whole morning which I think was good. And that was one of the most pleasing aspects of the whole incident. And went home and ate oat cakes and humous. 😀

But I am quite calm about the whole heart assault affair. I’ve now been to my GP and discussed various aspects of it all and now have an amazing list of repeat prescriptions BUT can I stress it is a very boring list and there are no benzos or opiates amongst them? And the only legal psychoactive drug I take is caffeinated coffee. The other legal psychoactive drugs are alcohol and tobacco and amyl nitrate poppers. It was the Queen who decided. Except she didn’t actually mention amyl nitrate poppers in that particular Queen’s Speech. But they are legal.

And I did see pictures of former Rangers player Nacho Novo who had bad heart attacks and now wears a defibrillator vest in case his heart stops and it can start again. I have a spray which I should maybe explain to people. And start carrying with me.

But I’ve started flyering again for the business side of my life and it’s been good cos I’m making it part of my walking regime and Glasgow is dead hilly. As in the Adam Smith Building is up a hill but I did do Glasgow Caledonian University and it’s not but thought I’d save Strathclyde for another day. But there are two UWSs to do and a lot more of Glasgow University and maybe one day, I’ll daytrip Embra. Anybody want to come with me?

Maybe after the lecturers’ strike when students might see them?

http://www.thewordprocess.net

And finally, I have been and gone and went into the Royal Concert Hall and bought some tickets for Aye Write but I’m not going to say for whom – as in who I am going to go and see.

However, if you have recommended someone to me in any way at all and you attend the event, I intend to sit behind you. You have been warned. 😉

Tioraidh, still wearing that badge and wondering if I am still keeping it simple

Iaint850, and all is subject to the weather as I have no idea what the next day forecasts are these days as the weather forecasters are too busy competing with each other to predict what’s happening next week.

So (and that’s a great broadcasting word), as I’ve already explained, I’m making attempts to get out more but in the meantime I’m watching more TV in the evenings than I normally would and I have to pay full credit to some real TV last Monday.

BBC’s Reporting Scotland led the way with an interview with Neil Lennon who recalled playing for Crewe alongside some of those who had been abused by Barry Bennell and a caravan at the bottom of someone’s garden which seemed to mean more now than it did at the time. Neil had been Andy Woodward’s best man at Andy’s first wedding.

Channel 4’s Despatches put an experienced mental health worker into a private medical facility used by the NHS as they just don’t have enough beds. She lasted just six days; I found it hard to last more than six minutes cos of the screams from the patients as they reacted to their treatment from staff. But I did.

On the other side tho’…..when I worked in social care, if I pressed my alarm button I was not looking for a colleague to come to my aid, but a goodly number of police officers. And they did.

A horrific programme.

And then there was one of these police reality programmes which had been well trailed so it came as no real surprise when the blackmailer turned out to be one of the policemen on the case but the surprise was that the cameras kept rolling. None of the police people objected.

Fascinating TV and a sign of the issues that are out there that are being faced by people who keep saying to each other, ‘I couldn’t do your job.’ But they do their own. And I wouldn’t.

So tonight’s choice of music is for anyone out there in social or health care who had hoped for a quick handover to the next shift but then all hell broke loose or someone’s life was at risk and you’d to stay on and help keep your colleagues safe.

It’s Black Lace and it’s the Christmas night out (or maybe there’s another reason);

I’m sorry. This was up next. The Zombie night at M & Ds! What a pelvic thrust she had!!!!!!!! No. I still don’t know what happened. But you’ll be up dancing! I know I will be! And it was also how Saturday nights finished at Clydebank Football Club Social Club upstairs in the Hampden Lounge