So I looked for a good rhubarb quote and couldn’t fine one other than a very long Groucho Marx quote (jt850)

And so dear listener, I am beginning this blog without the benefit of a working server. Something strange seemed to happen this morning when I got back in just before 11 o’clock. In case you wonder where I’d been, I’d been out. A notice on my phone told me I had no wi-fi access, my landline phone had a voice mail message telling me I’d no messages and my printer wanted to me to print a calibration page. Plus various house and car alarms were going off in the neighbourhood. 😦

Also the CD player had been switched off. Yes. I still have a CD player and CDs;

  1. They are easier to swop than downloads and
  2. Charity and second hand shops do not sell downloads.
  3. You cannot scrape the ice off a car with a download.

At the time I worried. It was as if the electricity in the neighbourhood had been switched off and come back on. I have seen too much Sci-fi in my time but things settled down and when I investigated, my wi-fi connection was still strong but there was no contact with the DNS server. Whatever. 😦

Now, like most people I can access various things through my phone but I had editing work to return or to acknowledge or Paypals to send or my SVQ stuff to research or……….when this blog is finished I need access to WordPress to send it……Ten years ago I might have had a drink to help me calm down (Yes. Even that early.) but an incident on Thursday night reminded me why I am off it. 😦

This has happened to me once before.

I had bought two individual panna cottas and had checked the ingredients for glutens (No. No reason) and meat (unlikely but you never know) and was happy. So I decided to eat one. It had been a hard day. After the second mouthful, I realised I was experiencing a taste I had not experienced for a long time so I checked the list of ingredients and there, quite far down the list, was alcohol. I threw them both out as a strange sensation went down my throat and through my body…….the heat that alcohol can bring. 🙂

My body felt weird and I decided against driving. (Yes. I had nowhere to go but I once before I had had a desire for munchies during a paracetamol high and made the mistake of getting into my car and just sitting there – realising I was about to do something wrong but didn’t). Not long after that it hit my head and a headache began. 😦

In a way that’s quite reassuring – to realise that my body reacts the way it did. And yes, I did send out some e-mails UTI but they seemed fine the next morning. Hopefully. 🙂

James Ellroy, the great American author, once described perfectly what that first drink once meant for me.

It.Is.The.Heat.Of.The.Whisky.Going.Down.The.Back.Of.Your.Throat.Slowly….very slowly. But this time I didn’t like it.

Let’s have a joke.

How do you know when Will Smith has been in the snow outside your house? Fresh prints.

And another one?

A man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm. He says, ‘one drink for me and another for the road.’

Y’see, I was going to start off with something else. Myself and J were beginning to indulge in one of those annoying in-gags that sometimes permeate the blog and put people off as some casual readers don’t know what is going on. But, at the beginning of the week, the English, fascist, Tory, right wing reactionary government issued some guidelines for England and Wales saying that primary school pupils would only get credit for using exclamation marks in sentences beginning with ‘what’ or ‘how’. I think that is as in,

‘What a stupid idea!’ Or ‘How vibrant the rhubarb looks!’

Now I do agree that social media sees far too many exclamation marks (lol) and therefore, their effectiveness is reduced but could they not just give some guidance rather than take marks off?

There are no rules in grammar (and apart from anything else, there are no punishments) but there are conventions but even they, often, do not stand up to scrutiny. Why does it matter if you split n infinitive?

But I’ll maybe stop the in-gags for a while. Government snoopers could be listening.

And finally, the editing season is upon me. I can still get out but the midnight hours are burned. But I don’t mind. Apart from the money, I genuinely feel I’m helping students in a way busy tutors aren’t always able to. The thing is I’m not allowed to comment on content but sometime it’s difficult not to. What I do then, and did on this occasion, is to say ‘I’m not too sure that, statistically, you’ve got the best out of your work in the way that you’ve presented it. Why not go see your tutor and have a chat.’ To which the answer came back, ‘I have done and she’s happy.’ 😦

I had put over forty odd suggestions in the comments section down the side of the page. I just hope she’s never my doctor.

Cya, still wearing that badge and still keeping it simple

Johnt850, still glancing at the wee wi-fi indicator on the bar below. And, hang on, I’ve just been told that a mail I sent about an hour ago has got through. That must mean…….and yes, it is. It’s back on and fingers crossed, it stays on.

I was going to do something serious about cancer in this bit but like rhubarb and editing, it’ll always be with us. Maybe next week?

I saw this man a few months ago. He goes by the name of Withered Hand. He’s rather good and I’d quite like to see him again.

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