Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn’t changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I’m just wearing better shoes. (Oprah Winfrey)

And so dear listener, the beginning of this week was a tale of two punctures; unfortunately both of them mine. Apparently, quite independently of each other, they were penetrated by respective self-tapping screws. Had I any idea how that happened? I have no clue what a self-tapping screw is! How on earth can I be expected to know what happened? 😦

But I do know the sense of anguished depair when I looked out the next day and saw a slow flat (I’m getting used to the vocabulary). Straight back to the garage who said they would fix it while I waited and showed me to my ‘usual chair’ with a cup of coffee. It was ‘a valve problem.’ 😦

I’d missed my mindfulness class the night before so I tried practising it in the garage. I was fine. I concentrated on sounds. Not the legs of the lady opposite. Honest. 😉

I have the same lack of tekkie interest in cars as I have in most tekkie things. On one occasion during the post grad, we broke into groups and were asked to describe any daily fear we had. Mine was phoning 151 and its ilk. ‘What is Internet Explorer?’ ‘Why’s my washing machine not spinning?’ and my latest fave from the lady from AA (Automobile Association) who asked me what type of tyres I had (‘flat ones’) and then told me where to find the information.

I have become obsessed with looking at my tyres and other people’s. It’s a condition known as tyromania.

It’s now the first thing I do every morning as soon as I wake up. Which is quite a shock for the neighbours as I don’t wear anything in bed. I can never have a PJs’ day. 😦

I like people and believe all tekkie stuff should be there as a process to help us – not make me feel inadequate.

I’ve mentioned before the late, great Studs Terkel and his ‘oral histories of common Americans.’ People do have stories to tell but it’s not always the one they’re used to telling; that’s the one they’re expected to tell that we usually hear. There’s the other one.

And for anybody out there who missed the second episode of The Last Kingdom, cos, I don’t know, maybe they were working, it’s beginning to make sense. Uhtred is an Englishman who became a Dane but wants to help the English become a kingdom again and there was a naked man on a horse with a branch stuck up his bum (I’d get a new agent, mate) and we’ve met Alfred, but not the cakes, who did a really clunky speech about uniting England, etc, etc….

And then I foolishly watched a film called ‘King Arthur’ which was equally clunky about introducing us to Arthur and his knights who were seven originally Roman centurions…..’Yes. Lancelot. Et tu, Galahad.’ Kinda thing. Except they didn’t speak any Latin and, of course, there were seven of them as in that groundbreaking movie, the Magnificent Seven Samurai. 🙂

Lots of stabbings and death by arrows but low on the severed headcount and slo-mo spurtings of blood.

And finally, this week’s Spat of the Month in the Houses of Parliament Award, goes not to the House of Lords and their involvement in the tax credits row but to the fact that there was a debate over the ‘tampon tax’ as apparently, for VAT purposes, these sanitary products are taxed as a luxury item! Apparently veteran Tory MP Bill Cash couldn’t bring himself to say the ‘T’ word instead saying ‘these products.’ T for twunt.

Reminds me of the joke where young Jimmy was sent home from school for using the C word. ‘That wasn’t clever,’ said his mum. And I’ll leave you all to furnish your own punchline, but it begins with Jimmy saying, ‘No. It wasn’t clever. It was……’ 😀

Cya, still wearing that badge and continuing to keep it simple.

Johnt850, tyred out after a tyring week.

And I found myself reading the Sun this week. Occasionally I do. I make no apology. Freedom of speech should be extended to those with whom we disagree. It’s a difficult concept to put into practice.

Anyway, there was a smashing double page spread about someone called Daisy Godwin (novelist and TV producer) who had given up alcohol – not cos she was alcoholically dependent – but cos she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and was reconsidering her life and lifestyle.

I could empathise with her in her search for a ‘nice soft drink’, in reassuring any host that she’d be sober but good fun and that ‘life is physically easier – but mentally a little harder.’……which helped when it came to coping with the cancer.

But where I disagree with her is when she suggests going cold turkey and describes it as going somewhere where alcohol is not an option. ‘It is much easier to do it that way than exercising willpower at home.’ Sounds nice. Maybe a spa holiday somewhere.

Maybe it’s just my own experience but my cold turkey was on my own. It involved vomiting, diaorrhea (sp), stuff oozing out of my pores, out-of-body experiences and hallucinations – and a brilliant team of para-medics, doctors, nurses and hospital porters (especially the porters and the stories they told me). But, hey, it worked. Almost nine years ago it was. 🙂

Anyway…..

In recent weeks, there has been a pop picker for the music at the end of the show and a good job she has done 🙂 – this time we go back a few years but I’m sure it’s a track that everyone will recognise. Now which one was Elephant Boy and which one appeared in Coronation Street? Which one later flew to Rio and I’ve no idea what happened to Peter Tork.

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