Nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane (HP Lovecraft)

But I’m not so sure I agree with that.

And so dear listener, this week I was reunited with a culinary delicacy that I had not had for a long time. I try not to identify the location of where I work other than to say it’s in the Charing Cross area of Glasgow, but those of you who frequent Sauchiehall Street at about three in the morning will be aware of a top-notch eatery called The Bistro. It’s the kinda place where you can order a cheeseburger with donner (sp) sauce with chips’n’cheese on the side. I usually bring in pieces (Becky from North London – if I lose you in this, and the next, paragraph, worry not).

One of our guests was going over there and took some orders. She came back and said, ‘I got a free chips’n’curry sauce, jt. Do you want it?’ to which I said yes.

Michel Roux, Michael Smith and Kimberley Wyatt (she cooks), eat your heart out. There is a certain taste to chip shop curry sauce isn’t there? (Vinegar to dilute it) I ate with gusto (a pseudonym to protect a true identity) until that moment when you realise that the chips have drowned in the sauce and it is curry/potato mush you are devouring…….but bliss.

You can keep your jus

and your ‘French ragout’.

Curry sauce is magic.

About four or five years ago (I was a meat eater) I had some thoughts about a radio documentary about women who work as prostitutes and the dangers they were being put in by closing the saunas. One night a contact invited me down to meet some of the ladies of the night and their willingness to appear (if the programme was commissioned) was smashing. I got back to my car and got a burger and onions from the van the other side of Charing Cross and ate it on the way up the road at about two.

Hours later I had to be in a hotel in Bellshill to meet a former sauna worker who had also expressed interest in taking part in the programme. When I got into the car the smell of burger and onions was overwhelming and I sprayed after shave all over it – which was a mistake. I was overwhelmed. The conversation with the former sauna worker was good and she didn’t need a lift up the road. I travelled home in a fog of Calvin Klein Eternity and optimism.

The programme was never commissioned. And I became a pescatarian.

But the retro theme continues and social media are oft blamed for the proliferation of dangerous acts amongst young men – or ‘chicken’ as we used to call it as I grew up. We didn’t have social media then and we didn’t need to create our own danger in Peterhead. The North Sea was at the bottom of the road and a disused harbour wall was slightly further afield. The game, during the winter, was, individually, to run up the steps, await the next great wave and then run down the steps before it hit, sweeping you aside.

(To be honest it was not the fear of the water that made you run; it was the fear that Cthulhu, the Great Old One, would rise and overwhelm you with his many tentacles and pull you under. For those of you who do not know of Cthulhu, the water-being is described as ‘part octopus, part man and part dragon’)

And speaking of dragons, J my favest philosopher, drew my attention to an arts installation in the foyer of UWS (Paisley) Library which depicts Elizabeth Bennett (star of Pride and Prejudice) sitting on a bench reading but there is no sign of the dragon ‘oft alluded to’ in the book. Sandy Stoddart, the Queen’s Sculptor in Scotland, was a member of the Winers’ Club (as was I) and has his studio on campus……..I must draw his attention to it someday.

But, dear listeners, where is/was the dragon referred to in the book?

And finally, and still looking back, years ago I worked in a boys’ home in the south side of Glasgow (No. This is not that kind of revelation). One of the residents was called Go-Go (Gordon) and it was a time when Glasgow had a lot of small factories and warehouses just ripe for breaking into or burning down for insurance purposes. Go Go was very small for his age (14) and his role in life was to break in through the slightly ajar and very tight sky-light and let the rest of the gang in through the front door (‘Police were baffled’)

Go Go had his own solitary game of Chicken. He’d go down to the railway line and throw things at passing trains until the railway police came and chased him. One night he threw a piece of metal at a train and it rebounded off the overhead cable and bounced back and hit him on the head. He never did that again.

Cya, still wearing that badge and keeping it simple. It’s the best way.

Johnt850 and ‘No. Stephen I do not still have a Bebo page’

So, dear listener, the retro theme comes to an end for this week except to say that me and e went to see a live performance (musically) of From Scotland With Love with music from King Creosote at Kelvingrove Bandstand.

The opening act was a guy called Dan (aka Withered Hand) and his friend Pam from London whose daughters had amazing raincoats. Dan had slightly different lyrics from Monica Queen (last year’s opener for Steve Earle) in his songs and a wee bit more stage presence although he never moved from the spot.

And then the projectors started running and the most amazing archive footage (as seen in the TV doc of the same name) appeared on two screens and the enhanced Collective started playing and it was soooo smashing that e forgot about the illicit cans of ginger beer she had smuggled in…….it was that smashing.

If it comes to your area, go see it. It’s Scotland as you have never seen or heard it before – or you can buy the DVD. Becky, just do it.

This is not King Creosote; this is an obvious in-joke

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