Martin Geisler (journalist – with glass of wine in hand) to Keith Chegwin; ‘Drink’s a dreadful thing.’ Chegiwn replied; ‘No. It’s not. It’s a wonderful thing. Sadly I can’t handle it.’

And so dear listener, let’s start at the beginning of a strange week.

I was supposed to be meeting a friend last Saturday in the Kelvingrove area of Glasgow. I had parked and she contacted me to say she was running late. Not a problem so I popped into the Art Galleries to pass 15 – 20 minutes.

And then I decided to pop out at the front – which is actually the bit overlooking the Kelvin and up towards the University – and I helped a wee Japanese boy through the revolving doors. I managed them myself, nodded to his parents and turned…and tripped over my denims (I think).  I have lost a quarter inch or so from my vast waist and they are slightly longer. Were I to wear Calvin Klein boxers then they would be beginning to show. But I don’t.

I’m prevaricating.

I went down. Hard. On the cobble stones. I was bleeding under the eye and my arm was bruised but then the worst thing of all happened. A young man (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh!) helped me back into the Galleries so I could be treated by a First Aider. Under the eye bleeding was caused by a shard of glass from my specs cutting into the cheek. The arm was just badly bruised…’just’.

I made the lunch appointment. Which was very pleasant. 🙂

(But rainforestriverman, whilst I may leave the house in a Renault Clio I cannot give any guarantee that that’s what I’ll arrive in)

(And just to correct a wee mistake last week; it was Brad Pitt who co-starred in World War Z with the good Dr W (Yes. Five words) and not Tom Cruise as I said)

So I got it treated at work and all seemed fine but I went to doctor and optician on Wednesday to get checked out and got signed off for a week. I’m putting the arm into cold water. Lots. But my eyesight has improved slightly. No PhD = less time at computer = eyesight improvement. 🙂

(And I recently met (in the ASDA) a former quantity surveying student I knew and she (but of course) is now running the Ledgowan Tenants’ Hall and they’re going to be starting a community café and I must drop in and we can have a good catch up…..I can’t remember her name)

(And I went into Carphone Warehouse in Byres Road cos I’d seen that the cable on the charger was frayed/fraid. So I asked the two assistants if they had a Blackberry Charger.  One said, ‘do you mean a charger for a Blackberry? Ah yes. You have the ZX 10 which has a micro USB portal.’

The other said, ‘Yes.’ He got my business)

So Thursday was the Charles Kennedy Memorial Service in the Bute Hall at Glasgow University. Somehow, em, I seemed (with a couple of others) em to have got on the Guest List. We were sat on the Non-Family side in Row 2 just behind the speakers and readers (Nicola Sturgeon, David Mundell, Lord Wallace, Willie Rennie, Brian McBride (uny friend of Charles’s) and the Presidents of GUU and the SRC) We were sat in front of Dame Shirley Williams (what a lovely lady to chat to), Jo Swinson, Ruth Davidson, Muriel Gray and Lord Strathclyde. Ian Gray and Johann Lamont were lost in the audience (wiil they ever find their way?). All interesting people to chat to, you as you do at a memorial service. Oh, and there was BBC Al, the Blog’s Bad taste pal…….and I was in the Second Row…….’access all areas’.

And I had a brill conversation with the Audio-Visual Technician who was recording the service and had a couple of stories to tell about Charles that would never make it into any eulogy. (I think why my life is a shambles is that everyone says that everyone has a story to tell. I am one of the few people to ask folk for their story.  Success in a material sense will always elude me) 😀

Anyway back to me.

I had struggled to do up the very top button of my shirt and to tie my black funereal tie. I could not tie the very fine laces of my black shoes which go with my black suit. I wore brown instead. Nobody had noticed until……..

One of the traditions of graduating at Glasgow University is to follow the piper(s) – on this occasion Alastair Campbell and his bro Donald – as they pipe people out of the Bute and around the East Quadrangle (Porterhouse Blue, eat your heart out) and it was only then that my sartorial discrepancy was noticed. I was slagged rotten by my colleagues and even by some people in the procession. But, I protested, ‘I am my own man. I make my own decisions.’ – not realising I was checking for messages on my super charged Blackberry.

And finally, my fishing expedition came to nothing. I have never been knocked back for a reason like that. I blame Fifty Shades of Grey.

Cya, still wearing that badge (altho’ the first aider gave me new one) and defo going for it…somewhere.

Johnt850 who’s not in the most settled of moods this week.

And so the service was good, well-paced and isn’t Sir Kenneth Calman small?

But appropriately, on a night celebrating Charles Kennedy –a superb orator with a great deal of passion – a new star was born.

Breffni O’Connor is a young lady (Norther Irish it seems with a Norther Irish sense of passion for what she does) who is currently President of the Students’ Representative Council. She seems certain to be one of the next political stars to come from the political training ground that is Glasgow University. Remember the name.

Please excuse me. I have some shambling to do.

For Charlie Bear and Kerry Mac and all those who ran/have run in Tough Mudder, this is Katy Perry with Eye of the Tiger. What? Isn’t it? No, but it’s a much better video tho’.


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