‘The man who could talk longest about wine and who could likewise carry off the most bottles was looked upon with favour and admiration’ (Strang 1856)

And so dear listener, uni-Sharon and I were discussing the importance of developing a child’s vocabulary in these harum-scarum days and naturally we ended up discussing the importance of the UrbaN dicTionary. Where would we parents be without it? Obvs I look thru lots of song lyrics and peeps on fb and wonder what I’m reading and where would I be without it. 🙂

No. I am not going to quote examples but in my alter ego’s younger days all we had was a big old dictionary from, say, the forties and we’d look up naughty bits but there didn’t seem to be as many of them as there are now. And as for the magazines…..:)

I’ve mentioned before on the show that, being brought up in a fishing town, I had easy access to Danish porn from a fairly young age but I do remember the first time the Porn Fairy visited (there is a point to all this). It was not under a bush but on the top deck of a double decker. And I can’t remember what it was called but looking thru its pages, all was revealed. 😀

In many senses.

Y’see, recently I decided to go ‘fishing’ again. The last six months or so have been truly amazing (thanks to Dr W and the gd and e and the weans – No. No connection) but the double glazing’s not what it used to and I do have many manly needs – a meal cooked for me now and again would be good.

My picture in the fishing catalogue is me with the ice cream that e, RJ and AJ, bought for me for a very significant birthday at the start of this dead brill six months. And so I contacted a lady, whose username I shall not give but let’s make one up….Muttondressedaslamb is good.

And she replied quite quickly and commented on the ice cream. Now I am useless at this kinda thing. Am I supposed, as Danny Dyer would do, to come out with some kinda coded message……’Yup. My whipped cream is finger licking good.’ OR do I be me and say, ‘Yes. It was a very nice ice cream and it was Nardini’s in Byres Road and I’d be more than happy to treat you to one.’ Me? The latter.

Result? Knockback. ‘Too soon’ I was told.

FFS! It’s an effing ice cream in effing Nardini’s in effing Byres Road – not an effing Chinese opium den in Garnethill* I’m sooooooo not cut out for this. Lots of things are leaving me very confused in the run up to Christmas. But if you are going to be in the Byres Road area and can give me a couple of days’ notice, I’m happy to buy you one as well- whoever you are 🙂

But I did bump into that librarian the other day and we ended up discussing grandchildren. I thought one of hers was called Mindy but it turns out it’s expected on Monday.

*(Can I apologise to all those Chinese students for whom I do work, and who very kindly recommend me to their friends, for the outdated stereotype portrayed in the Chinese opium den image. Why it’s almost as outdated as the image that I am perpetually in process of recovery from alcoholism which is an incurable disease. No. I just don’t drink alcohol these days. No. I don’t miss it. Yes. I was alcoholically dependent for several years of my life. Yes. Most thinking since the sixties looks at it being learned behaviour and there are ways to help once you leave the black and white world of Lost Weekend and Ray Milland)

I mean I don’t believe that MadMen (or was it Admen) reflects Advertising and Marketing today. But then sometimes we are happy in our prejudices.

And I don’t miss meat either – apart from that roll’n’sausage last week..but a wee walk and I was fine. 🙂

Moving on.

And I’m still not sure about the difference between a baptism and a christening. No. No reason.

And finally, I had a couple of training days last week which involved me training in from Hyndland Station and one occasion I had to shout into the carriage, ‘If you would all move into the carriage then we can all get on’ and I did get some strange looks but then I’m a housing worker with the homeless and look a bit rough and, so, they moved but let’s stick to the rough theme of stereotypes…..Coffee of the month at the Coffee Stall on the station platform in the pretentious West End? Gingerbread latte. I rest my case and am away out to do some C’mas shopping. 🙂

Cya, Keep(ing) it fun and still wearing that badge? Yup. Buffing it up now and then I’ll do the badge later.

Johnt850…….God made me funky.

So Christmas and the end of the year are fast approaching and the anniversary of me Cold Turkeying will get a wee mention soon time and regular listeners will know that that also means the special Christmas Card edition of the blog and the annual prize giving for Personality of the Year (which doesn’t have to be a person), Lifetime Achievement Award (which can be given to someone who has received it before cos I don’t keep records and can’t remember anyway) and Team of the Year (cast iron that one) and a new award – Musical Track of the Year……Nominations are open and me an Skippy would love to hear from peeps out there. 🙂

But one thing I want to say and that is….if I want to give a C’mas pressie then I will give a C’mas pressie. I don’t necessarily want one back and even if we’re not meeting then I will get it to you

I missed so many Christmases a few years ago that I enjoy being a small part of it all now.

And it’s the same with cards. I could ask for donations to Cancer Research UK but I think it better to send out cards with the Cancer Research logo (Why them and not Prostate Cancer? My mum didn’t die of Prostate Cancer) And I don’t keep a list from last year and strike off people who didn’t send me one last year and whilst I will do some by e-mail and fbook and so on, I will send as many as I can and to as many as I can with stamp attached. The business has done well thanks in no small way thanks to the Chinese students mentioned earlier. It has paid for the stamps.

So I’d a wee disappointment the other day. In context, no’ a big disappointment but it was big at the time but in reality it was just disappointing and when that happens I go for a walk and I play music until this comes on and I smile;


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