And in a big country, dreams stay with you, Like a lover’s voice, fires the mountainside.., Stay Alive….(Big Country)

And so dear listener, this may be a very short blog as I’m in the middle of three times twelve hour night shifts.

Well not strictly in the middle as I’d be writing this whilst at work and that is so not on. I do hope I’m okay for Monday. No. No reason.

But my aim and intent to do things for the first or ‘it’s been a long time since’ continues – ahead of a certain event later this year. Or two.

I attended my first ever First Aid course this week so maybe that counts as a double first – which is certainly something I’ve never had. It was all good but some of the people there had done it before and were renewing their certificates but also had tales of times they had saved people’s lives in public. I don’t know if I have the courage or the confidence. Let’s hope I can rise to the occasion when I have to.

The other first was……

Last Sunday, just after I had published the blog, I happened to be looking out of my front room window when I couldn’t help but notice about ten to twelve of Police Scotland’s finest – a full support unit clad in helmets and with riot shields – effecting an entry into a neighbour’s house just across the road. The neighbour did not appear to be in or else I’m sure she would have opened the door. I thought about phoning newsdesks but decided to wait and see whilst taking crappy pix through the Apollo Blinds.

They came back out and some plain clothes people with blue marigolds on went in. And stayed in. The Support Unit also remained but the support Support Unit went away. Two hours of nothingness then happened. No police tape. No guards on the door. No sniffer dogs. No door-to-door enquiries. Nothing. And then a locksmith drew up and they came out. And he fixed the door. And they all went away. Nothing.

And nothing has continued to happen ever since.

And the other thing I want to mention is the now cancelled blowing up of the Red Road flats. Bear with me! I have a fresh and original idea. I am not even going to suggest that the original idea sounded like Jo Stalin at his worst….…or how would we have felt if the South Africans had cleared everyone out of Soweto and then shown its demolition to the world as part of the Opening Ceremony for the World Cup? But I won’t.

In the late eighties and early nineties Glasgow and parts of Lanarkshire e.g. Bellshill and Mossend were plagued by the Killer Clowns (and can I also say that anyone who ever worked with the community in those areas eggy-knew-of-eggy-the-eggy-lang-eggy-uage-eggy-long-eggy-before-eggy-actor-eggy-Rory-McCann-eggy-claimed-eggy-to-eggy-invent-eggt-it) and I’d like to thank former student of mine Matthew Harold for reminding me about their existence.

It was well known that the Killer Clowns were psychopaths who had escaped from Carstairs Mental Hospital (as we knew it then) and who drove about in a blue transit van kidnapping children and doing unspeakable things to them.

Schoolchildren were warned at School Assemblies about them. School Rectors and assorted heidies would cry; ‘Beware the Blue Transits!’ And parents watched their weans on the way home from school…just in case.

One of them was called Tommy and he was well known for slashing your face and then tickling you. This was well known at the time. Parents told their weans to be wary of men dressed as clowns in the street. Seriously.

Why don’t the organisers put out a call to reunite them. They could show how rehabilitated they were by being given Clyde the Jaggy Thistle costies and open razors and allowed to walk amongst the audience. Killer clowns a myth? I think not.

Cya (keep)ing it fun and still wearing that badge? Yes but is it any defence against the Clowns? I think not.

Johnt850, but the police van was white……maybe a cunning device to hide their clowning…….mmmmmm

This is from one of the best and most under-rated Scots movies of forever. Spot the inspiration for the Killer Clown story and play the music loud. I had hoped there would more to the Opening Ceremony than blowing up the flats. We didn’t want to disappoint St Lucia, did we? How about this?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Restless Natives and the car chase to end all car chases. With full police support (unit).

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