‘Everybody has the potential to recover but every individual is different so what works for you might not work for me.’ (Ms F, quoted in a recent MSc dissertation)

And so, dear listener, I sit here wondering what the theme of the show should be this week. Could it be that I was seen by a cancer nurse this week and was told, yet again, that I have currently nothing to worry about; or could it be that Kenny the Shed Pimp is unable to fit my splash-back before Christmas so I have just put all the kitchen back together again and will soon have an empty freezer so I will then go and buy a new one? (Not cos it’s empty…but because it’s dying before my very eyes)


It’s going to be about Wednesday. The day I was able to tell my son that I was now able to tie my own shoelaces. And get the same kind of withering glance from him that I usually get down the phone but can I say a big thanks to him for driving. The day along.

Y’see, on Wednesday I wore a kilt for only the second time in my life. Why? Oh, didn’t I say? Well, dear listener, I graduated with an MSC in Alcohol and Drug Studies at UWS (Paisley) almost seven years after I ‘cold-turkeyed’ (alcohol basically) which was six months before the cancer was diagnosed. Anyway I have recovered from both. As you do. And can. 🙂

Anyway the last time I wore the kilt was to the Wedding of This and any Other Century and a very nice lady called Mel, whom luckily I knew, tied the laces of my brogues which has to be done in a very special way (Ah, brogues….is there a more working class shoe?) but unfortunately that last time she was not there to help me remove them. Which did lead to some problems driving down the Maryhill Road about one o’clock that Sunday morning.

The kilt fitter (rather than the kilt riveter) had shown me this time and it worked. Why did I choose to wear the kilt again? To be incognito I suppose and not to stand out from the crowd.

So let me say it now…..It was really brill to see Neil, Mary Jane, Kerry, Neesa and Evelina again and shame, you couldn’t be there Jo, but we will catch up and Anne? Keep going. You started later than us but if we can help in any way, just shout. 😉

The ceremony was held in the Coats Memorial Baptist Church in Paisley and I sat between Ewelina and Kerry.

Ewelina had never stroked a Scottish sporran before and I was happy to oblige; and Kerry….that moment when I said ‘I could murder a pint’? Maybe best leave that between ourselves?

And it was interesting when someone we didn’t know got their Master’s for Drug Design and Discovery. I think everyone else in the church went, ‘mmmmm……..cure for cancer, maybe?’ while one row at the back of the church (us) went, ‘mmmmmm…….more legal highs and street benzos’.

(Breaking Bad is not a fantasy. Make the chemist an Eastern European from behind the Iron Curtain and you have grim reality, and for those listeners who are unsure of what the Iron Curtain is, then check out Dominic Sandbrook’s otherwise excellent series on the Cold War. The only drawback is that Dom looks exactly like Mel Smith doing a spoof documentary……well not exactly, cos Mel’s dead and I have no idea…..)

Anyway back to those on drink’n’drugs at the Baptist Church, auditioning to run the Co-Op Bank and replace the Crystal Methodist. Or not – cos that would be in bad taste…….Maybe the David Laws Rule will apply if he pays it all back.

We were amongst the first to go on stage and it’s really good cos they’ve done it before and you progress slowly to the front and I did do the hair-flick but before I got on stage and then after that it’s a blur. I just followed Kerry. (Have you always been that tall?)

I do not remember anything that happened on stage until I was walking back down the other side and got back to my seat……we giggled a bit after that.

But what I do remember is at the very end, after the uni-high-heid yins had walked out (in a procession, not a hissy fit) then so did we to tumultuous applause. That I will remember for a long time.

That, and a brilliant speech from the honorary degree man, Professor Craig Sharp, who once won Man of the Year for his sexual performance. Did I get that right? My notes are crumpled. It was all that stroking. 🙂

And I did get an official pic taken. The snapper called me a natural, so I enigmatically said that I’d worked with photographers before. Which I have.

So finally, can I say a big thanks to my extended family and to my friend, e, who accompanied me to the ceremony and to the restaurant afterwards where I ignored the fine food and ate a posh fish supper, fritto misto…….I just needed food…….

And I do have photos to distribute…..if you haven’t had yours yet….

Cya, keep(ing) it fun and still wearing that badge? Not this week. The kilt was hired and I didn’t want to return it with a prick in it.

Johnt850. MSc, PG (Dip), PG (cert), MA (but I’m only doing that for one week and one week only and can I just say that the Dip and the Cert are different PGs…….)

So nothing serious below the line this week.

Just a special request for Fields of the Nephilim.



One Response to “‘Everybody has the potential to recover but every individual is different so what works for you might not work for me.’ (Ms F, quoted in a recent MSc dissertation)”

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