Words are important. If you want to care for something, you call it a ‘flower’;if you want to kill it you call it a ‘weed” (Don Coylis)

And so, dear listener, it is three weeks until the wedding of this and any other year….which means it is three weeks until I stop starting the show with a countdown to the wedding of this and any other year.

It’s the attention to detail I like. Yes. I do have a dress shirt and yes, (somehow) I will iron it before the actual service. Yes. I do have the date and time of the rehearsal. I think it’s amazing all the things they have to think about. (Whisper it, but the groom’s estranged dad is an alcoholic pescatarian)

Oh such a contrast to my own big day all those years ago. Paisley Registry Office; the Brabloch Hotel (where the first person I bumped into was an old girlfriend – sorry ‘former’ girlfriend); the Normandy Hotel: and Paisley Gilmour (sp) Street the next day for the train and ferry to Arran. The divorce was as quick. I also remember going to the Geigy Social Cub somewhere in Paisley one Sunday night to check out the band apparently we’d booked…….

The band for the wedding of this, etc, etc is a ceilidh band. I have been practising Big Box, Little Box to the sound of Jimmy Shand’s Bluebell Polka. It looks ridiculous but will draw attention to me. I have been told it’s the bride’s big day and not mine. Aye. Right. Just watch. 

Moving swiftly on but staying boring…….

I have started writing the actual words to the domination degree. The hot and raunchy thematic coding is done. The coloured pens remain out…..just in case. There are 12,000 words to be written. Which is not much considering the state of the living room floor. There are six folders of academic articles and interviews and books……one of my fave books is called ‘The Illustrated Directory of Recreational Drugs’. Honest officer, I was only buying that tab to see if my book mentioned it.

No. The big thing is not just to write 11,999 words but to make sure they’re good ones, appropriate and in the right order. But I’m happy. I didn’t go to the West End Fest’s Mardi Gras today cos of the desire to write. So no pretend Brazilian woman shaking her bosom in front of me whilst dressed as a large carnation………or was that last night’s DVD? I will go to the Meela next week. It’s quieter and really ‘diverse’ from a time long ago when that word really meant something and was not a tortured way of saying multi-racial or racially mixed. Blue Mink may have been naïve but their heart was in the right place. 🙂

I got petrol this morning (I may be about to go back to the days of doing lots of weekend driving) and the van behind me was for the big Herbalife franchise. The registration plate was PI5 AFF. Not interested in your product mate, cos you ain’t a nice person. 😛

Whereas the person who threw eggs at Simon Cowell was smiling all the time. I liked her. One comment on Facebook on the night was that she shouldn’t have done that cos ‘eggs are dangerous. They can cut you.’ I think that is a wee bit over the top. Not only do I use them on a daily basis but they, and rotten tomatoes and flour, are the basic tools of protest……..I am more of a hell-raiser than I thought. All these things are in my kitchen. Actually give me a second.

No. I can’t find it. I used to have a book called ‘The Citizens’ Guide to the Militia’ which was a hard copy book produced by some anarchists who lived in a lighthouse in Orkney which shows that these things were available long before the internet.

What else?

In a quiet week (he lied, protecting the innocent) I would like to say well done to AJ for his first ever presentation (at the age of almost four) to his nursery school group on the role of the fireman in the twenty-first century (or similar); to his sister RJ, who chose the moment when her mum was as far away as possible and I was in charge of her to burst into the largest bout of screaming and crying that I have heard in a long time but, hey, I calmed her down; to uni-Sharon for a superb decision but we’ll give it time; and to Jo for keeping a seat for me in the incredibly busy school library in Paisley.

It’s amazing how big a part Paisley has played in my life. I also used to go out with a girl from Foxbar.

And finally, it’s not those who hog the middle lane that annoy me. After all I’m sure everyone does the same as me i.e. overtake them on the inside, flip the finger at them and pull out sharply in front of them (lol as Carmen would say). No the people who annoy me are the ones who hog the inside lane and won’t let people onto the motorway from slip roads but how the hell are the police going to police it all?

Cya, keep(ing it fun) and still wearing that badge? Yes, but it may be about to meet new people.

Johnt850, the one in the black top.

So part of the big essay involves discussing various theories about alcoholism like disease or learned behaviour and like most modern thinkers I’m in the latter camp…in fact personal experience confirms this. I cry myself ‘recovered’ and it’s thanks to various ways of changing alcohol-related behaviour.

But then I was in a restaurant the other night – not a big night – but there was a bottle of Merlot on the table and its bouquet was good. It smelled nice. And then it comes back to me. The basic reason why you, me and so many others do drink and drugs is cos we like the taste and what they do to us. Simple, eh? Just some of us take/took a touch too far.

Ponder on that policymakers and pontificators.

This is Doctor John as was promised to Jo the other day x

One Response to “Words are important. If you want to care for something, you call it a ‘flower’;if you want to kill it you call it a ‘weed” (Don Coylis)”

  1. johnt850 Says:

    That guitarist looks familar. 🙂

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