It was all to stay awake for the longest time. It was long; it was wrong but it felt so right. See you at the finishline if you got the heart to join us (Stay Awake)

And so, dear listener, there are exactly four weeks until the wedding of this and any other century – depending on when you read this. I have started my own checklist as father of the groom;

Kilt fitted and booked and I have been shown how to tie up the brogues;

Present bought and, hopefully, delivered;

Haircut booked and, eh, that’s it…..I think. I’m not really too sure if there’s anything else I should be doing – or will be asked to do.

But it’s not on everyone else’s mind. Take for example, the woman who spoke to me on the way out of (the) ASDA the other day – the subject out of nowhere;

‘I’m cooking for ma brother at the moment and he always comes in wi’ a wee drink in him and complains about my cooking…nothing serious but….then the other night, I dropped it on the floor and scraped it back together again and put it on the table for him…..never said a word….just shows you, doesn’t it?’

Or the rainforestriverman was in Glasgow the other day and we met for coffee. On the way I came through the Botanic Gardens and had cause to visit the toilet there. As I was standing there trying to unbutton my flies (which was difficult as it was a zip fly) I noticed a man washing one of his feet in the sink whilst standing on the other one. Before I could do anything he then tried to get the other in and fell over……

Obvs, my first thought was, ‘Why me?’ and, of course, I stopped doing what I wasn’t doing and helped him to stand up. As he stood there, putting his trainers through the Dyson dryer he explained that he’d been paddling in the River Kelvin and he felt his feet needed washed. As he cried out to me, ‘You’re a star, fella’ he picked up his half full bottle of Smirnoff with added orange juice for healthy drinking and wandered off, shouting into the bushes, ‘Billy, this is no’ funny. Are you in there?’ 🙂

Incidentally rrm, did you notice the ‘elderly’ gent sitting behind you? He spent most of his coffee smiling at our conversation but got up and left when I suggested that Tinderbox on a Saturday night is a singles bar for coffee drinkers.

He really liked my story about the charity shop denims. 😉

And so, my domination degree continues. I’ve reached the Thematic Coding stage. Don’t ask but part of it requires compiling lists and doing notes to yourself – which is fair enuff – and I use a lot of Post-Its anyway….leave them all over the house, but was a wee bit thrown when I came across one that said ‘Crack Cocaine – need more’……..but I’m researching alcoholism and speaking up for the problem drinker in recovery………Skippy? Is there something you want to tell me? You can squeeze my carrot if you want…Skippy?

And finally, just over a year ago I, and study buddie Fi, had the pleasure of flying with the just-retired Capt Stuart Linklater of Loganair who for 24 years has flown within the Orkney Isles, including the amazingly short journey from Papa Westray to Westray – the only flight I have ever been on where the pilot shouts out ‘Are you alright in the back? Okay. I’ll take off then.’ I have the certificate to prove it. And the photos. 🙂

Cya, keep(ing) it fun and still wearing that badge? Yup and to pastures new as well.

Johnt850, still giving you more of what you’re funking for.

And so Con-Dem MP and auntie Jo Swinson says we should stop saying to our daughters that they look beautiful cos it sends out the wrong message……I was tempted to tell a story here about when Jay the Boy Wonder was asked which of two dresses his mum wanted to wear to uni-Sharon’s wedding was the most suitable…….’Good choice, Jay’……….first step to being a man.

But then I realised I work in a world/am associated with people who are so unused to hearing complements. About anything. The creative writing group that I was involved in in Easterhouse were so chuffed when good things were said about what they’d written and I recently gave a guy some money for milk for the project (cos he was on his way out to the shops) and I was told later he was amazed cos it was the first time in years, anyone had trosted him with money.

And as for seeing someone now in one of the projects I work, making an effort for going somewhere, and being able to say to them, ‘looking good’ and meaning it…….priceless and it makes such a difference.

It’s about boosting self-esteem, Jo……that’s part of the reason for doing the domination degree. I’ll send you a copy.

This is the incredibly lovely Daft Punk before they sold out and got lucky.


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