Oh Maryhill. Is wonderful. Oh Maryhill is wonderful. It’s the home of Partick Thistle. Oh Maryhill is wonderful (to the tune of When the Saints…..)

And so dear listener, I am speechless…words fail me…tbh I have no voice……I have done sooooo much shouting. When one day, my grandchildren (not for some time please Son Brian and KT) ask were you at Falkirk that afternoon…when the Thistle went up with a glorious two-nil defeat of Pressley’s Pirates, I will answer with pride, Yes……And when they say what was the most memorable part of the afternoon, I will pause briefly and say, ‘It was the fact that Rab had had a good win on the horses the day before and paid us all in.’ Maybe I should have told him I get student discount. 😉

It was an amazing afternoon; me, Rab and Laurene all travelled through in the charabanc that is #soulboydaviebee’s car (Saturday night deejay at the Ad-Lib in the Merchant City) and parked miles away in an industrial estate but we got there in plenty of time and found seats at the back. Actually there were tons of seats. We chose seats at the back and took it from there. A great header from Andy Dowie, late of Dunfermline and an amazing mazy run from Kris Erskine soon to be of Dundee United…..Breathless, Yoda, I am.


And it had been really exciting on Wednesday night where I stood (there are seats but we don’t use them in The Shed) between the lovely Laurene and her dad #soulboydaveybee and we had one of those moments which, hopefully, we won’t lose in’t’big league. Rab, a season ticket holder, had been working (he watches comedy for a living) and turned up with ten minutes to go. Laurene was persuaded (eh?) by her dad to go and sweet talk a steward in letting him in. Which she did.

As Rab joined our number, mindful that he might upset the apple cart by being there, he was given this warning by me;
‘Whatever you do, don’t.’

It worked. Single mums (and dads)…try it at home. The look of perplexity that came over Rab’s face was that of stunned silence. Well he didn’t really speak to me after that. 😦

Elsewhere, I was down at Alternatives in Dumbarton, the rehab where I do some voluntary stuff and not only did I receive a couple of (laminated) certificates acknowledging my training and volunteer efforts, but I received Hopi Ear Wax treatment (quite often I have acudetox) which is a way of clearing the aural passages by sticking a burning candle in each ear – but not at the same time. And it works. You should see the gunge that came out. Well maybe not.

And I am still seriously considering a tattoo. What I need to do is to get uni-Sharon and uni-Jo together to encourage me. They did that for me once before. And it worked. I have the World’s Shortest Scheduled Air Service certificate to prove it. I laminated it and one other myself.

As did my Blackberry after I took it to the Blackberry shop down at St George’s Cross……e-mailing wasn’t working but it is now. It’s a work thing. It’s nice to know, for example, that I’ve been paid….yes, I am awaiting some money coming in. I have had to threaten action on previous occasions. I wonder if they realise that I can legally lay claim to my suggestions if they use them without paying me……and I loved (not) the guy who asked if I did student discount. Rainforestriverman, you already think my rates are too low. I’ll pass these on to you, shall I?

And finally, this month’s Get a Grip Award of the Week is a joint winner. In a week of horrible carnage and killing in America (and let’s not forget Syria and Irag where such things happen on a daily basis) I cannot believe Neil Lennon got a ban for swearing. If the SFA want to ban me for the same offence then me and 1499 others are in The Shed next week. We soooo do not like the Old Firm.

Plus Justin Beiber went to Amsterdam. He could have done drink, drugs and the Red Light district. Instead he went to the Anne Franks Museum and left what the young man thought was a cheery greeting in the Vistors’ Book……the young man (sic)……..give him a break

Cya (keep)ing it fun and still wearing that badge? Onwards and upwards with it.

Johnt850…one day everyone will be an 850er…doesn’t quite work for me does it?

And finally I was invited to a uni-reunion on Saturday night. Not these formal dinners I used to attend but some guys who I have not met in years – other than Stewart the organiser. After a lot of thinking and some chat with some support team, I decided not to go.

It was difficult to explain. A lot of the folk who read this and many others have been with me in licensed premises and they know I’m fine BUT they usually know my story in advance. We know the ground rules. This time I would have found myself having to explain to a lot of people who knew me as a typical student drinker that I am now a recovered problem drinker. What a downer for the rest of them!

It’s when I get asked ‘do you remember the time at university (first time around) when…..?’ ‘Eh, no…cos I lost a lot of memory cos of the drink…..’

I done fine at the uni-nite out last week but I just couldn’t face going in to the final pub of the night so uni-Jo and uni-Anne decided not to bother either….I owe them a drink 😉 And I also remember the blogmeister’s 30th birthday, for example. I walked around the block several times before going in.

The wedding of this and any other year? Many people do know me and my situation but that’s not why they’ve been invited. They have been told not to worry if they don’t see me for an hour. I will be outside, smoking an imaginary cigarette…….I don’t mind passive smoking in the right place.

Last week I never saw a programme called Peter Higgs: Particle Man. This is that very song by They Might Be Giants…….When it comes to my final appearance at Maryhill Crem, it’s another song by this band that will be playing you out…..enjoy  My legal eagle has the detail.



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