Anything can happen in the next half-hour (Stingray)

And so to the biggest night of the year – the presentation of the Annual Blog Personality of the Year Awards. Skippy, please, get the strumpets warmed up. And in line. Actually we don’t  need their fanfare this year. But warm them up anyway.

But before I go any further….I’d my latest car incident a couple of days ago and again it was not my fault. It was dark and I drove into the ASDA car park entrance unaware that a car was coming out. Of the entrance. Luckily we were both going slowly. The other driver? She’s a nursery nurse, late twenties, early thirties with a bouncy personality. We exchanged numbers and textd the next day. So no damage done. And no I’m not going there, rainforestriverman, so don’t worry. Bishopbriggs. By the back road.

And a wee caveat before I explain why this year is a wee bit different.

The Awards are based on what happened over the last twelve months and should not be construed as hopes or expectations for the next twelve months.

I’m not one for making revolutions at this time of year; I am more of an ebb and flo man, myself.

So to the bad news. We have been hit by the double dip, fiscal cliff, austerity recession and the usual pomp’n’circumstance has had to go. No red carpet or Corinthian in the Merchant City; instead we will have to make do with the shag in my front room. It’s sand and not beige. Plus no canapés or sparkling champagne (not that I…..)  Instead refreshments have been provided by e. Lobster Cocktail flavoured crisps and non-alcoholic ginger beer…lashings of it. So loads of lashings on the shag. There’s a cold shower running even as we speak.

The first award is the Lifetime Achievement Award. Most of the previous winners have been living or dead members of my family plus the rrm (‘like a bro’’)…and curiously enuff, it’s a family who win this year’s award. Step forward e and c who, so far in the lifetimes of AJ and RJ, have done an amazing job….altho’ AJ is currently potty training and I was assured that the wet patch my besocked foot stood on was actually a ‘miss by a mile’ that had been wiped up.  And you can’t go wrong with a dinosaur for a three year old, I always say…….Jolly Well Done to you both.

And incidentally, the two questions I was asked most often this year were, ‘do you go to the meetings?’ and ‘did you ever work with Jimmy Savile?’

So the next award has been won by such in the past by the women who work in the ASDA on a Sunday and my Post Grad Possee (possible pronunciation pitfall) from last year, and it’s usually called the Team of the Year Award but this year it’s been renamed the Travelling Together as a Group Award. My answer to the question ‘where did you go on holiday this year, jt’, is ‘four days in Orkney and an hour in Millport’ so step forward Study Buddie Fi, Jay the Boy Wonder and Sasha the Wonder Dog. Ah, the supermarkets in North Ayrshire we visited – every week a voyage of discovery……but seriously well done and well deserved.

Oh, and I seem to have some chocolate Belgian cookies here…Skippy? And Jeff Z, I plan to open negotiations about appearing in panto next year soon……….

So to the biggie! The Personality of the Year Award

In Third  Equal Place, we have the New Goth Bar in Cowdenbeath on a Sunday afternoon which I can highly recommend to those of you who are collectors of dated electric heaters which were clearly against Health and Safety regs but worked (A PTFC afternoon); and the Tough Mudder Challenge (a Good Doctor w day out) which was the only run for charity I have ever been to that was so dangerous that even the spectators had to sign a waiver in case harm was done. That was the one where some guys ran it as Ruud Gullit lookalikes. W ran as w.

In joint Second Place two places miles apart but both meant an awfy lot to me in a spiritual way; the Ring o’ Brodgar Standing Stones in Orkney, and Paisley Town Hall on a Recovery Day. Both were calming and reassuring in their own way, as were a few other places I visited last year, and they have been a major influence as have other events in confirming that I am doing what I want to do. But there was a spirituality to both…..I’m beginning to understand what that means. I feel so calm these days. 🙂

(Incidentally the next person who, on being told all the things I am doing just now, says ‘well at least you’re keeping busy’ will get their teeth rammed up their nostrils. I am not ‘keeping busy’; I have ambitions just the same as my Son, who has achieved so much, and whose very cool fiancé is ten millions times better than Kevin Bacon on being connected to ppl…..Yes, I am not ‘keeping busy’. I have things I want to do and reasons for doing them. I have ambitions and no mortgage)

And so, let the truncated version of ELP’s Fanfare for the Common Man ring throughout my front room

And if you didn’t watch the final vid in last week’s show…of the ducks….you missed a quacker. Well worth sending on to your friends if you’re one of those ppl who like doing that.

And finally in Joint First Place we have the Graduations (or the Three Degrees if you prefer) ; Missie K and the Vampire Slayer earlier this year and uni-Sharon later. And both meant soooooo much to me. The former I have now known for about seven years, before the Cold Turkey, beginning as NQ students but who have become such amazing friends and the latter, who I have known for about a year and a half – but who is one of several women who know me like a book (Fifty Shades of Sand not Beige)…….in fact many of them got mentioned here today.

And all three, like so many ppl I know, have tremendous patience with me. Or maybe I just like women in robes 😉

But well done to all those who received awards and commiserations to all those who were close but just not quite close enuff.

Cya (keep)ing it fun and still wearing that badge? Yup. And planning to prove it this year. Maybe.

Johnt850, kinda caffeine-free……just not cold turkeying it…that’s all.

So what did l learn this year? Lots. But that will never stop me doing (the same) things again. Cos I have free will. I can make my own choices based on what’s available to me and I leave my mind open. I may not be able to choose the choices but the fact that I am alive, aged 42, living in two parallel universes and with an invisible bush kangaroo as my bestie shows how well I’ve been doing. But sometimes asking for direction can be dangerous. Here’s BBC Scotland’s very funny Limmy as Falconhoof.


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