Well I’m gonna raise a fuss, I’m gonna raise a hollar, I’ve been working all summer just to try and raise a dollar. Sometimes I wonder what I’m gonna do cos there ain’t no cure for the Summertime Blues (the song I used to sing at Karaoke….I am told)

And so, dear listener, I was invited to Son Brian’s house for tea. Not for the first time but I wanted to make this somewhat different. I planned to take beer. For him. But this caused me a wee problem. Should I buy it from the ASDA and run the risk of being seen and counselled…’put that back jt!’ or go to one of the offsales down the Maryhill Road and buy from there – except there aren’t as many as I remember. And then I thought this is stupid. Sometimes we addicts agonise over the simplest of things and ignore the simplest of solutions (being true to yourself and your own free will) and I bought four bottles of San Miguel a couple of days in advance. And then when my sister came over to drop some keys off I hid the beer. Serioulsy. I did. (red-faced icon)

I also got an Angel Card from Opal Moon, which said believe in your heart – so I will. 🙂

No. I’ve been reading a book. Actually I’ve been reading two and I’d like to thank the Good Dr W for a birthday pressie book in which the hero is a man with cancer, enjoys dancing to trance, drugs and has a fetish for giving young women peculiar nicknames. But, I wondered, why did it remind you of me? So I asked the Vampire Slayer.

No. The book I’ve been reading is called The Fix and is written by a man called Damien Thompson (no relation but why should there be?). It’s about the usual forms of addiction; drink, drugs and Vicodin – America’s biggest painkiller – and my favourite quote comes from a woman addicted to codeine (I won’t have that or paracetemol in the house after an unfortunate incident with six Lem-sips in six hours once):

‘I find it hard to tell when the pain relief ends and you’re simply enjoying the medicine. Let’s just say that, while it doesn’t get you very high, it makes the furniture really comfortable.’ 😀

Damien is an alcoholic. So am I. He now collects classical CDs and keeps them in their wrappers. I buy an eclectic range and they’re second hand. He is the Religious Corr of the Daily Telegraph. I started with the BBC in Religious Broadcasting. I once got drunk at a sherry reception with a man who went on to become the Moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland; got drunk with a priest in his Partick bolthole being served Gins and It by his eighteen year old housekeeper; and used to present pre-recorded church services for Radio Scotland and come home from them red-faced and giggling after the post-service lunch. 😀

I once spent a very pleasant evening in a café in Largs with a very lovely woman discussing drunken escapades with sailors and fishermen. Maybe next time we can do men of the cloth.

Anyway to this book and its prediction of the next addictive apocalypse…which is with us now. Cupcakes!!!!! Seriously. Altho’ I wasn’t sure about this, until the next day I went into Prostate Cancer UK HQ to say well done on getting the Scottish Government to see sense about abireterone. And how were they celebrating? With cupcakes.

The next day I was in Paisley and went to buy something from Gregg’s. When I went to pay for it I was assaulted by the sugar on the counter. A massif bag of dough-rings for one pound or four cupcakes for one pound or a tub of millionaire shortcake for one pound.

And the day after that there was an article in a tabloid newspaper about the fact that you can now add Malibu and Bacardi to cupcakes and come up with caketails. (I once found a recipe in a veggie cookbook for vodka gazpacho. It really was ‘add vodka to cold tomato soup’). The only time I have been alcoholically giddy in the last few years was a commercially available tiramisu…….. Now I’m not shouting about banning sugar (an insidious white powder whose very existence is threatening mankind even as we speak) but I think we should be careful. A little recreational use is okay but dependency is worrying.

(Yes. I am going through a phase of still wanting alcohol but my basic coping mechanisms are back and I feel fine…….I’m just careful, for example, in the music I play from my eclectic collection and that’s why tonight’s choice was chosen for its name. Feel Good Hit for the Summer. Sounds wholesome.)

And finally, over recent years, I have confessed much to people like Study Buddie Fi, the Good Doctor W, Missie K and the Vampire Slayer that I’ve not told anyone else (and I still don’t understand the comment about young women and nicknames) but on Thursday I bumped into the serene e and wee AJ…..and made the ultimate confession. I’m not sure at what stage my relationship was with the woman who became Son Brian’s mum (he says, making the ‘art’ of conception sound more difficult than it actually is) but at one stage…….I collected Hollie Hobby badges. (Try saying that in the kinda deep voice I normally save for telling dogs what to do).

I don’t know why. Was it the anticipation? The wanting? The thrill of finding one I didn’t have? Going up to the counter behind five year old girls and presenting mine for purchase?  (maybe edit that later, Skippy?) Did I wear them? No way!!!!! It was a secret pleasure shared only with one or two others. 😀

‘People who worship green jelly fish need to surround themselves with the right kind of fellow believers if they’re to have a reasonable chance of keeping the faith.’ (Thompson 2012)

Cya, keep(ing) it fun and still wearing that badge? I wouldn’t trade it for a dozen Hollie Hobbys!

Johnt850, who’s just remembered something else that made him red-faced and giggling. 😀

So it’s basically housekeeping below the line this week.

Son Brian made pasta with prawns and salmon in a carbonara sauce without coriander; sorry I missed the party, Doctor W, but you will understand; my working tax credits have been sorted for 2013/14 so I’ll get the beers on Thursday, rainforestriverman; Mike Scott of the Waterboys is on at Oran Mor in a few days time; see you Tuesday, Sharon, and anyone else I’ve spoken to recently about getting in touch, please do so. Such is me and my life, it’s always your call.

This is Queens of the Stone Age and their Feel Good Hit of the Summer… Keeping It Simple And Safe 🙂



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