I want to be your electric heater. I will not run out. I wanna be the electric heater you’ll get cold without. I wanna be your setting lotion hold your hair in deep devotion. Deep as the deep Atlantic Ocean. That’s how deep is my devotion

John Cooper Clarke there. Part of BBC4’s punk season. And to get the full effect you have to read it at the rate of a train going past. Fast. How can one man – so thin – have so much talent? But that’s enuff about me. John Cooper Clarke’s pretty good as well. 😀

And I think there’s a wee anarchist sitting in BBC scheduling who, realising that this is a big weekend for Liz Saxe-Coburg, gave us all an opportunity to play God Save the Queen by the Sex Pistols. But I realise that I am sectarian. This week’s episode of Every Week a Voyage of Discovery with Study Buddie Fi took us to Stevenson in North Ayrshire. No. No reason.

Me and Study Buddie Fi stood outside this large building with lots of Union Flag bunting and I muttered ‘unionist’ ‘masonic’ ‘lodge’ ‘orange’ and similar epaulettes under my breath only for her to point out it was an Old Folks’ Home celebrating the Jubilee. Oooooops. 😦

And at one point Fi asked for directions to the seafront. Which was weird cos we weren’t going there. And this elderly lady gave us directions. And we set off in that direction. Which was weird cos we weren’t going there. And she followed us to see we were okay……….she then stopped to talk to someone and we ran. Left and left again. Phew! We outran the old lady.

(Olympic Torch Beith Friday 1339 to 1347. No. I do not know who the bearers will be. But last weekend’s tarmacadaming is now explained)

Wonder how Prince Philip’s folks are coping with the Euro crisis. The Greeks must really hate the Germans. Hope it doesn’t affect life in the Windsor household. If the Queen Mum had ever paid off her overdraft, all this could have been avoided, y’know.

And whilst we’re talking house improvements (eh?), I’d like to thank Kenny the Shed Pimp for starting all the work at my house. Eh, you will be back, won’t you? The curtains look nice. 🙂

And I cleared up the problem with the School Library. I knew I didn’t have the Journal of Mental Health vol 7, 1998. I went in and went straight to the shelf and there it was. Stuck between vols 6 and 8. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh, how I laffed. At the £1.20 I had to pay for car-parking!

And finally, about three years ago, the annual Blog Personality of the Year Award went to a phone call from two very beautiful women who happened to be in Italy. This week the same two women phoned me again – separately – to tell me that they had received Queen’s Jubilee Honours (Caledonian University Media and Communications Division) which I think is positively brilliant. People sometimes think that Missie K and the Vampire Slayer are figments of my imagination but they well and truly exist and have been part of the support team for all the years one has been needed.  And were there really only 65 condoms in that jar, Skippy wants to know?

Cya (keep)ing it fun and still wearing that badge? And it’s got an exceptionally large smile on its face.

Johnt850, currently watching re-runs of Supernanny. No. No reason.

So I’ve recently been telling folk that there is nothing wrong in taking pride in an achievement. It is arrogance or hubris that is wrong. So I am about to tread a fine line. I got (unratified) 75% for my Applied Theatrical Revue and I am knocked out. I knew I’d written something okay cos I wasn’t the sort of pupil to hand in an essay and say to my pals, ‘It’s rubbish.’ It’s the freelance in me. You do not talk down what you’ve done.

But I’d wandered; I thought I’d really frisked it up. Academically, it was journalism.

So genuine and utter surprise at the result. Most of my other marks have been good (hubris alert at amber!) apart from Drawing up a Questionnaire Studies which wasn’t very good (arrogance alert back to green). But journalistically I was happy and had taken it to the wire…….it was worth it.

The subject? It was a look at the horrendous stigma still attached to an alcoholic when he/she feels good and ready to return to work – and the parallels with those who are succeeding in reducing similar stigma for people with mental health problems. I must get some copies bound and give one to my former line manager at what is now the City of Glasgow College, but, hey, I sound bitter. No. I have my hair. He is a bald hypocrite. He also liked the Ramones – a punk band your mammy would have chosen for you, they were that safe.  

And this was featured in another prog about Punk. They, the experts, say it was the guitar riff that made it but for me it’s the drums, the drums, the frisking drums at the start……oh, and the vocal key changes but that’s a bit arty!



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