So if I decide to leap for the Fountain when I finish this, then I want to make one thing perfectly clear – I would genuinely love to make that leap and if I don’t I will always consider it a mistake and a failed opportunity (Hunter S T)

Some weeks the blog has a message – a thread that twists and turns its way through a narrative of cornucopiae of life’s malestroms ; sometimes it reflects the fact that there is often no rhyme nor reason to certain aspects of my life – a time of confusion over one matter which grips me at the very basis of the stem of existence. Sometimes it’s so frisking* hot I can’t be f**king bothered to string two coherent adverbial clauses together and this is one o’ they clauses…beware listener, be very aware. 😦

*’frisking’? Skippy?

For example, I bumped into an old friend the other day who I’d not seen for a long time. I do wish he’d stop wearing that camouflage jacket.

And I spent a very pleasant evening in a basement bar in Bath Street Glasgow with the Vampire Slayer, where we discussed our plan to keep the world safe. We drank fruit juices. And no-one said Boo! I was in a drug rehab unit near my Paisley school the other day and there was a discussion based on the fact that it’s not that long since pubs did not allow women in. Heraghty’s on the South Side of Glasgow did not have a ladies toilet, once upon a time, and if a lady wished to use the toilet, all the men had to be turfed out and the gentleman stood guard while the lady did what ladies do……PMSL

Pubs and the whole drinking culture has changed and is changing. I won’t say anything again bout alcohol pricing levels but I do trust the World Health Organisation research on the matter but the letters page of the Sun and the Record is, I suppose, like Pavlova’s dogs and must be listened to.

Anyway, VS, congrats on doing your first ever weekly shopping. Silver bullets and big stakes are half price this week in the ASDA Summerston, and can I apologise to the M&S petrol station in Paisley – it’s between my school and the top of North Ayrshire – cos I thought they were getting behind Rangers with the balloons and bunting. What queen? What jubilee? 🙂

And well done to school pal Sharon for finishing your work experience this week – even if finding a teacher on a Friday afternoon proved difficult. And it’s true. I was there for about six months and I really only got to know one bit of playground, one tuck shop and a couple of classrooms and the bike sheds…..What? Study buddie Fi smoked, that’s all. But I appear to have lost a library book. The Journal of Mental Health vol 7 1998…….Shit! I’ll maybe tell one of the lady librarians rather than a man. No. No reason.

But why does the TV advert for Tombola Bingo not show people paying bingo and Art Sutter says Yes to an Independent Scotland….what should I make of these portents of mediocrity?

Anyway, moving swiftly on to the weekly voyage of discovery with Fi, Jay the boy wonder and sasha the dog…….this week we went to Millport. And came back again. And I also found myself in a Beithian chip shop buying traditional hot weather food fare – fish suppers when it’s 26 in the shade – only to hear a man in front of me complain about his holiday in Italy; in particular the food. ‘All we had to eat was omelettes,’ he said. ‘Of course you could have had that spaghetti and stuff but it just didn’t look right.’ Totes hilair, I thought. 😀

I immediately txtd the rainforestriverman with details of the temperature. He was in Florida and said it was 100 in old money there. Son Brian is down at Wentworth watching the PGA golf and I was deeply envious of Jay’s paddling pool.

Kenny the Shed Pimp has started major work on my house. No. He just turned up one day and knocked the shed down. Yes, Kenny, the stuff in the window was glass and not plastic and No, I did not drink the creosote* rather than paint the shed. I swopped it for crack cocaine.

*Other wood preservatives are available for all sorts of purpose – not all of which are on the tin.

And finally, neither me nor the good Doctor W actually appeared on screen in the BBC 3 lesbian drama, Lip Service – or, at least our scene remained on the cutting room floor – but we did get paid for our efforts. And I have learned a lot over the last six weeks of watching this BBC3 lesbian drama. About Glasgow. No. Nothing else.

Cya, keep(ing)it fun and still wearing that badge? Not in Millport. After all Chick Young has a holiday home there and I’d hate to cramp his style. LOL!

Johnt850, who means what he says in fb msgs…..Obvs.

So nothing too deep below the line this week. Too hot and too many people were watching granddad Englebert on telly last night so here is my favest Eurovision clip of all time. Why? Cos I know Lana, that’s why.:)


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