With your kittens on the patchwork quilt, Oh no, what am I doing in the house Jack Kerouac built?

I was actually looking for a different lyric when I came across this. The one I was looking for was The House that Jackin’ Built – a well know house classic. ‘Cos I’m getting tired of waiting for the results in the School’s Drink’n’ Drugs Essay Competition – Research Methods. I don’t think I’ve done that well anyway. [I didn’t]

I ended up writing about raves’n’that and housemusic’n’that and managed to work in Sherlock Holmes, the well known Glasgow hardman, Jimmy Boyle, a rave fanzine website, a BBC Radio 4 doc, several Sun headlines, a quote from Boy George and 3 movies including Irvine Welsh’s ‘Acid House’……… but no. No Lyrics. Well not overtly…….hehehehehe 🙂

(I don’t suppose I should use 🙂 given the subject matter really)

And we’d to devise a survey questionnaire but I’m not sure asking a group of 16 – 21 year olds

a)      Do you use drugs?

b)      Can I have some?

is really what the Professor was looking for. [It wasn’t]

I got an unconfirmed 61% for another essay and I’m looking forward to its confirmation. I’ll get it all dressed up, invite the family, go along to the chapel, have a wee word with the priest and have a wee celebration afterwards.

No. The opening track was The House That Jack Kerouac Built and was the version by the Go-Betweens – an Australian band but why do I think they have a Glasgow connection?

And can I thank Missie K at this point for looking after me (again) whilst we resumed the conversation which was interrupted by the wallet that was stolen but the incident was recorded on CCTV and will be shortly appearing on Pets Do The Funniest Things Just So Their Owners Can Win £250 And Be Humiliated By Harry Hill – or am I revealing a lack of knowledge of populist TV?

But this week’s Big News of the Week……many people consider me a Technofobe. I’m not. I just hate foning 150. I can dial 150. In that order usually. I press all the correct options until I end up in the queue called We Are Aware That You Are There But We hope You Will Put The Phone Down To Put The Kettle On Just As an Advisor Chooses To Answer Your Query…….Please Choose Your Music Option. Obvioulsy I choose Dance and I’m convinced there’s a klaxon goes off in Richard Branson’s Office and signs flash up saying *Drug Crazed Nutter on Line 4!*

So I tend to write to 150. And they send a man round. Except there always seem to be another man in the van with binoculars and a sniper’s rifle, trained on me. And the helicopter. Always the helicopter. Always overhead. Anyway what I didn’t realise was that the man also fixed my DVD player. He’d said something about giving me a Start and I said that was very kind of him but even giving me ten yards over a distance of fifty probably wouldn’t be enough. And he looked at me. And said ‘a Scart’.

But it was only when study buddie Fi was doing some dusting – it’s okay, Sharon, I am aware of the klaxon going *Thin Ice Alert! Thin Ice Alert!* – and switched it off and on and it says Hello and Bye when you do that, that I realised that he had got that to work as well. I have got a working DVD player. Now all I need are some DVDs. Betamax or VHS – what do you recommend?  

(Actually given the mixed success of Betamax and PepsiMax, can anyone tell me why Fat Eck is going for DevoMax? There was also a really weird but wonderful band in the Eighties called Devo…this is they……http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xbt30UnzRWw and  a certain amount of Parental Guidance is advised)

And finally, this was originally written several days ago but I then hit serious hard-drive problems….so it is a now a slightly updated version…Slight updates are in square brackets……..and I’m not sure when normal service will be resumed…..intermittency may rool.

Cya, keep(ing it fun) and still wearing that badge? It now knows a much better way into the Buchanan Galleries Car Park from the Royal Concert Hall than it did before


So I haven’t said anything cancerly recently but this last week has been Macmillan Cancer’s Talk Week and I do hope anyone out there with cancerly experience has been talking about it so that people are re-assured that not every cancerly experience is a fatal or terminal one.

Except for a guy called Gerry Hagan (59) from Coatbridge who I don’t know. He had symptoms of prostate cancer (which I did), he was given radiotherapy and hormone injections, which he describes as a ‘pressure cooker’ (Yup…I agree ‘cos that’s what I had) and he had thought his problems were urological (which I did). The difference? He had nine years between the onset of those symptoms and the diagnosis; I had just months. I, after all, was still being seen regularly by my GP ‘cos I was in the early stages of my alcoholic recovery.

The result? I have had successful treatment and everything is in working order; Gerry’s is terminal. He is quoted as saying, ‘Yesterday’s history and tomorrow’s a mystery so just live in the day.’

 This is who study buddie Fi and I went to see on Wednesday night [last week at Royal Concert Hall]


3 Responses to “With your kittens on the patchwork quilt, Oh no, what am I doing in the house Jack Kerouac built?”

  1. Jane Carchrie Says:

    I am new to this Blog, but really enjoyed it! Thanks John. Now trying to leave this comment, so let’s see if i manage it. xx

  2. Jane Carchrie Says:

    Forgot to tick the ‘notify’ button

  3. johnt850 Says:

    Hi Jane and it reached…..I’ve just had sooooooooooooooo many tekkie troubles recently, I never replied.Sorry x

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