You better come home Speedy Gonzales, Away from tannery row Stop alla your a-drinkin’ With a floozie named Flo. Come on home to your adobe And slap some mud on the wall The roof is leakin’ like a strainer There’s loadsa roaches in the hall

I was a child prodigal. I think mum hoped I’d be a prodigy but, bright as I was, I discovered women at an early age. Or to be more precise, I discovered Gail Summers. It was unrequited. She was ten. And can I, dear listener, kill a myth that seems to surround me by explaining I was ten as well? No. No reason. But hey and ho.

No. The reason I mention that (kinda – if there’s ever a reason) is that at a very early age my alter ego cut from a newspaper (dad was very annoyed – he was reading it at the time) an article about drugs references in modern music.  It was the usual stuff – Jefferson Airplane’s White Rabbit, the Beatles’ Lucy in the Sky and almost anything by Bob Dylan – but it’s only in the last wee while I’ve become more aware of these things.  As in the lyrics above.

(Next week – Childrens’ TV……..more than met Zebedee’s eye..…and in a previous blog I did highlight drugs references in Thomas the Tank Engine but I am slightly worried about some of the lack of social care exhibited by local government in The Gingerbread Man and is the fox an allusion to heroin?….Skippy, my medication please….any f**king colour)

So what novelty record are you giving this Christmas?

Which reminds me. Cos Christmas Day falls on a Sunday this year and similarly New Year’s Day, the broadcast of the blog those days might be affected. Newer listeners might be unaware that there is a Christmas Special and there is also a Blog Awards ceremony with a Personality of the Year Award. Previous winners have been a glass of whisky at the Edinburgh Bookfest, a phone call from Italy from the Vampire Slayer and Missie K, and BBC Steve’s 3 year old daughter Ruby….who now comes to Partick Thistle games.

Nominations are now being invited and will be totally ignored.

Meanwhile things progress at school 🙂 I got my first mark. For sums. And it’s 62. Out of a hundred, altho’ I’m not sure what that is as a percentage. (And my thanks to all those I’ve told like W, e, Sunny D and Liz…….must tell Jaymi….for telling me where that stands in Academia and can I just assure my friend and colleague, the gorgeous W, that no child was harmed in the making of that video)

Met up with study buddie Fi again. In the library. I sat with laptop, blackberry, loads of books and articles and a total blank screen. Writers’ block and, unlike at home, I cannot do the usual things to unblock the block – sharpen pencils, tidy t-shirts, make soup and change socks, altho’, technically there are no signs prohibiting this.

I/we were told off for talking. I tried to explain that my most recent library experience was Hillhead Library. With the Toddlers. ‘No. I’m not actually a dad. Of any of them. I was invited in by AJ.’ Bizarelly the Paisley School librarian had never heard of AJ. Nor the fact that he is celebrating his birthday, like, now. Happy Birthday and Happy Retirement (ha!) to your mum……..

Oh, and I’ve now visited Beith. It was dark. That’s all I’m saying. It’s in the country and there are pix on the road warning you that cows are about to leap out in front of you.

(And does anyone else, like me, panic when they’re driving thru the Clyde Tunnel only to see the road markings which say Stay in this Lane actually point in a different direction to the one in which you’re driving?)

But can I recommend a very nice restaurant called the Blair Tavern, Dunlop, which isn’t in Dunlop and also isn’t the very large house with the big driveway with both an entrance and exit so it wasn’t that embarrassing when we drove into it. And can I say a big thank you to the two women at the next table who moved from discussing this week’s Day of Action on behalf of the future of the public sector* to swopping mobile pix of intimate operations.  

*I think they called it something else but as other people have suggested thru Facebook et al, we have a day off to celebrate the wedding of a balding RAF officer and his burd and it’s called a holiday and a boon to the economy – people are out there defending their current terms and conditions of employment and deserve all our support.

And now they’ve changed the law of succession, what if Katie does nothing but produce boys who decide to become Roman Catholics? No. I’m not sleeping well. Why do you ask?

(Excuse me a second…the envelope icon is flashing)

And finally, and whilst saying thanks, can I say thanks to Caitlin (whose 21st is in my dairy…..) for having an uncle Colin who treated me to lunch in a fusion restaurant called Opium (I’m a recovered addict….it was research…ok?) For those of you who know the Byres Road, it used to be the Peking Inn in Hope Street. Bizarrley (2nd attempt at spelling it) it had two veggie options in the starters but none in the main course….bazaar.

Cya, keep(ing) it fun and still wearing that badge? Yes, and it ain’t half seeing the world……well the West of Scotland

Johnt850, a common enuff name but not a common guy.

And speaking cancerly for the first time for some time….many thanks to all those who’ve been raising money for Movember including Eric the Floodstalker, Falkirk Dougie, Sporty Paul and William the student…..your money is spent on research into things like a mechanical device which will be able to probe and measure the hardness of the prostate tissue.

Good……but did they have to call it the E-Finger Project? Serioulsy? 😦 But, hey, twenty seconds of discomfort and it saved my life.

And speaking of the Status Quo – this is from High School Musical


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