I said Mr Purple People Eater, what’s your line He said it’s eating purple people and it sure is fine But that’s not the reason that I came to land I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band

So the original idea had been to use the colour purple and its significance in a chance meeting which has led to sooooooooo many other recent smashing meetings – to discuss first impressions. And then it got taken over by a real event involving my alter ego. But today, and just today, we’ll pretend it happened to me. Stick with me. This is important. This is my universe.

Remember how my friend and colleague* the gorgeous W and I were extras in BBC 3’s girl-on-girl drama, Lip Service? Well, another chance came up. Scarlett Johansson (26) wanted extras to take part in her new movie which is about an alien sent to Earth to pick up unwary hitchhikers and harvest their organs. Men were wanted. Under 50.

So the d.o.b. was entered on the form and photo sent, and I was invited along. I wore black as did everyone else. And I was called through for a five minute conversation.

The nice casting lady had her finger on the d.o.b., was obvioulsy doing the sums, looked at me and said, ‘No. I don’t see a problem.’  And then she asked me a wee bit more, and I said, ‘a journalist.’ Why? Did she want her phone hacked? And she pointed to one of her fellow casting people and said, ‘Until a couple of weeks ago, he worked for the News of the World. He’s got a few days here.’ And I felt bad.

And then she asked me about what interested me about doing a Post Grad in Alcohol and Drugs Studies. And I said, ‘The alcohol and drugs.’ And she said, ‘That’s not the first time you’ve said, that is it?’

And then I asked her out for a drink and she said…..No, that bit didn’t happen and that’s another bone of contention but we’ll leave that for another day, as we will the goodly * beside friend and ‘colleague’ W……..

She learned so much in such a short time – the nice casting lady. The most open of minds. Someone suggested recently that I was taking advice from KT because she would tell me what I wanted to hear. No! I knew I would disagree with her, but I knew her opinion was based on considering the evidence, not making an assumption based on the label and not the actual person……. 😦

Skippy, It’s okay. I’m ready for my medication now………Yes, the purple ones……….mmmm……….those heart shaped ones look nice. Apparently purple stands for luxury, wealth and sophistication and and is also the colour of passion, romance and sensitivity. 😀

Anyway, I’m still waiting to hear if my alter ego has got the gig. I spoke to one young man – so lean, fit, tanned and toned that I thought I was looking into a mirror. He told me he was an actor who did lots of auditions. Must be a rubbish actor, then, I thought, if he doesn’t get any actual work.

Time, I think, for a musical break while I work out what to do next. This is Jimi Hendrix and, yes, Jimi, she did……


Incidentally, later aged people tell me about a book called Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche (or similar). So what does it say about me when a recent Morrison’s Credit Card shopping came to just over £90 (Ok…it’s a lot of pot noodles but they are veggie)….and the only discount I got was 20p off two quiches. Why can’t I have a week or so of being rough’n’tough?

So, quick thanks to my personal trainer, Jason, for sorting out my running style; to Missie K, not only for a nice lunch, an excellent show (with Steph) on Pulse FM, but an amazing idea which, if it happened….well, I would be soooooooooooo sorted and made up; to the Vampire Slayer for sharing her holiday photos on Facebook but two of them looked identical; to award-winning Helena for the idea and I’ll talk to Nick; and, for me, the star of the Phantom Flan Flinger Farce was not Rupert’s wife, Wendi (sp), but his lawyer Janet Nova, who moved at a speed unknown to the big burly bodyguard who’d placed himself at the wrong side from the main door. Doh!

Maybe I don’t want to be rough’n’tough if it means being thick……..maybe just one night?

And finally, Son Brian, speaking of women lawyers in my life………the subject of my will came up recently. No No reason. I was on a bus to Easterhouse at the time (regular listeners?) and it was discussed. Yes. You do get everything, including the mini Buddhist Garden and the collection of incense sticks (used) BUT you also get a prosperous business (www.thewordprocess.net which attracts a lot of investment opportunities from Nigeria) and you also get this. The blog. In perpetuity. I’ll knock off a couple before I go. But after that it’s all yours.

cya, keep(ing) it  fun and still wearing that badge? I’m sure Scarlett’s poring over it even as we speak. 😀

Johnt850. Available. Obvioulsy. But anything but ‘bland’.

So, I think I’ve done the serious message. It’s a word thing, innit? A user is not an abuser and an addict can recover. I’ve said these things before but they’re worth repeating.

Except, poor Amy.

It’s really sad. I was not a great fan of her voice, but I recognised her talent. There are people on TV as I write this talking about the demons she faced as if they’re a thing of the imagination. No. They exist. Believe me. And they don’t go away. Hers, tho’, are perhaps more high profile than your work colleague, family member or friend. What can you do to help, rather than disparage or denigrate? I know where I got my support from, and it wasn’t college management, after my alcoholic breakdown.

In a totally different context, someone recently said, ‘Never say never’ and I just said, ‘I am around’ – and apparently purple people are easy to live with but hard to know. I’ll move myself on. Swiftly. Other than to say Sheb Wooley wrote and performed the opening number.

And if I suppose if you’re going to finish with a purple track, it should be this one; suggested by a listener. It’s Prince – as we’ve always known him in Summerston.



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