I’m in distress, oh mistress, I confess, so do it one more time. These handcuffs are too tight. You know I will obey, so please don’t make me beg for blood, sex and booze you give me.

Can I just say when Green Day actually sing that lyric, it doesn’t sound quite as bad (or as good, or as interesting) as when you read it in black and white? Obvioulsy it immediately occurred to me when I read the Robbie Williams’s headline in the Sun; ‘Robbie: I inject sex hormone twice a week’. And it reminded me. My own latest prostate cancer test is due in a couple of weeks’ time……so I had to go and get that very specific blood test I talk about. From a nurse. Who has to restrain me before she can do the thing with the needle. My logic is a variation on the Six Steps from Kevin Bacon idea.

So, tell me, jt, what does medical science think might cause a rise in the PSA level other than your cancer returning?……. Well, they do say it might be a rich and varied sex life or too much exercise.

Y’know, there are some sentences I do wish I’d never typed. I’ll be fine. 😦

And the track’s called Blood, Sex and Booze. Now, does it make sense? Except for the booze bit.

Can I say a mega thanks to my sis for an early birthday pressie of a new laptop? For those who want to know what sort it is, it’s a black one. You should see the bag I got as well! It’s has lots of room for pencils. And it’s also black. And can I say mega thanks to Son Brian for installing stuff and doing driving and conning me out of my rainforestriver password? The folder named Kleenex Tissues has since been renamed, btw. No. Don’t ask.

To the Vampire Slayer, interestingly enuff my star sign is Cancer, not Gemini, the heavenly twins. (*bursts out laffing uncontrollably*) Y’know I don’t know long I can keep this up, as I said to…… Oh, there’s the phone……

To the Horror Channel, thank you for bringing to my attention the movie Zombie Women of Satan, and to the emporium formerly run by the rainforestriverman, thanks for selling it to me but I’ll maybe not bother with your recommendation of Bikini Girls on Ice and Sick Nurses. Well. Not just yet.

To my cultural companion, friend and  colleague, the gorgeous W, thanks for your help in parking the other day; I will send away for two app forms; and your support team on my side all think you made the right decision. 😀 and I don’t know why I asked for an ice cream ‘nooga’ rather than a nugget.

To the Bellshill Speaker – I took that pic. Where’s my fee, my credit? (What? She signed the copyright over to you? Okay, well, I’m happy with that, but my alter ego is still owed lineage from the late seventies, you might be interested to know).

To all those involved in the blook, I am digging it out again with a view to possible re-write or update. No. No reason. Obvioulsy. And if you have any tips on saving money in cash-straightened times can I have them but, not, please the one about getting the most out of your Marigolds by turning them inside out………(or is that just a basic prostate cancer test paranoia?)

To e, I may wish to borrow AJ quite soon. Lunchtime Yummy Mummy Alert, with buggies, in Firebird, Argyle Street, all drinking large glasses of red.

To Missie K, I’ll bring the full article with me on Wednesday. Hey, I splet it write!

And finally, to the pigeon who shat on my car this morning (thankfully not Thursday), I have a loyalty card to Anniesland Car Valet Centre, run by Fraggles Green, ‘son of millionaire crime boss, Jamie Daniel’. When Fraggles finds out it was you, you are sooooooo dead meat…..just like your North Lanarkshire cousin. Last Saturday night.

(Apparently I get a free Ultimate Wash on my sixth visit, but I wonder what the car gets)

cya, keep(ing) fun and still wearing that badge? Yes, and it’s now got a bro’. Simultaneous badge giving….is there anything better? Yes, but no answers, please, on a postcard. I live in hope. As Summerston is known. In the Possil.

Johnt850, delighted to have opened the sun roof successfully but only after first switching  the interior lights on and off…….

And so to the serious bit and as an addict and former community worker in Viewpark (Uddingston/Bellshill), Lochend (Easterhouse) and Whisky Valley (Hamilton) I suppose I should pass comment on The Scheme (apart from saying from a broadcasting POV, I didn’t think it was very good).

Naw, problems caused by alcohol, joblessness, single mums who (apparently, in some press) cause all the problems in society, and illiteracy still exist and successive Tory governments of Thatcher, Major, Blair and Brown have done nothing to change it. Throw in the heroin, the ‘smack’ that is so prevalent not that far away from me, and you have a society that it is so easy to turn your back on.   

Unless you run short of dinner party conversation.

But I saw something else in the programmes. I saw a lot of care and love and concern with some of the families filmed, people who didn’t know what to do to help, other than hand over  ten pounds for that day’s fix. An addict needs that fix – smack or alcohol – to stay alive (Asda’s own label whisky is just over £10 for a bottle) but we didn’t see what outside agencies eg social work or AA were doing (altho’ at least two people were Alcoholics’ Anon users – there’s a code)

My fave character was the McMurray daughter (I didn’t catch her name but she wore the Fuc* Me spex. She’d met the film makers when she was in Corton Vale). I loved how protective she was towards her ‘bros’, and how optimistic she was – at times; ‘The McMuzzas are back together’ – aye, but for how long?

This next band is called The Scheme and they were from Easterhouse. (To W, this wasn’t the  clip I was talking about, but then I do witter on at times.) 😉


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