The highway is your girlfriend as you go by quick Suburban trees, suburban speed And it smells like heaven (thunder) And I say roadrunner once roadrunner twice I’m in love with rock & roll and I’ll be out all night. Roadrunner. That’s right.

Okay, there is a chase to be cut to. I was going to mention Andrew Lloyd Webber’s forthcoming appearance on the Piers Morgan show in which he apparently talks about losing his sex drive after surgery for prostate cancer and his disgust at the ‘equipment’ available to help as being ‘too gruesome to contemplate’ and how I do hope the actual interview is much more positive but I do get f**king pissed off every time I hear a high profile person being quoted about the downsides of prostate cancer treatment in general when I am living proof that you can emerge with everything in working order. 

I was going to but I may not have to. The Daily Record got in touch so my views and experiences may be featured in their health pages this Monday, 4th April. I make no comment on what I said but I am old enough (42) and ugly enough* to know what I’m saying when I talk to a reporter. Some of you can expect mails and txts from the all-night garage up the road early Monday.

*If they do use the pic then you can see just how ‘fit’ I am these days and how good I look in anyone’s company, if short (height-wise) altho’ I have now seen high-heeled boots to compare with those of The Vampire Slayer. I would like to point out that the interior decoration (in the pic) was carried out by Jed of Thornwood Decorators and the colour chosen by Angela across the road. Yes. Even choosing a paint colour I can’t do on my own. But it was fun showing her my colour codes….. lol!

So that kinda screws up the plan, Skippy, for this week. But the opening track was from Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers (I like to do mainline now and againand was to celebrate the fun I’m having with my new car. The registration number even says NU, so that people know it’s new. Kwl, eh? And it’s got a computer thing that tells me how many miles I do to the gallon. But why?

(Ha! I can put petrol in myself! Ha! But, agreed….. I do pay the AA to do the rest.)

I even drove into the Argyle Street area of Glasgow the other night and parked in Robertson Street. Halfway down…… omg, will anyone out there in cyberspace understand that reference?

Mainstream! I meant mainstream!

Y’see the newspapers have been full of discussion about what constitutes Scots in that question from the census about understanding it. Now, I should stress that I took filling out my census form seriously even if the firm looking after it is in the arms trade. That night Charlie Sheen, Naomi Campbell and Rihanna really did stay at my house.

No. Me and the gorgeous W went to see The Wee Man whose patter is Glasgow/Lanarkshire ned with a few expletives thrown in quite liberally and is incredibly unstructured but is really good. But is he featured in discussion on the Scots language: does Billy Kay make programmes about him; why are the neds in Maryhill wearing all-in-one colour Nike cotton tracksuits; why does one of the bars in The Arches give such big measures in drinks? That was the largest orange juice I’ve ever had in my life AND it was my third of the night.  

Star of the night tho’ was Kenny from the audience who beat-boxed and body-popped like a pro.

So I’d like to say a massif Summerston well done to the gorgeous W for not only finishing her PhD but getting it bound hence the celebration. 😀 And I think that goes for a number of students who I’m helping/have been helping (for money) with dissertations and similar. It fills me with a certain amount of dread for my own forthcoming stint in academia, and I also need to start thinking about paying for it all as well. 😦

(Why have I just Googled ‘Rihanna plus bondage’? Oh, yes I remember now. What a lot of listings. And such interesting views)

And finally, I thought the downside to pescetarianism was the smell of strange fish in the kitchen – cobblers and pollacks. No. It’s true. I did.

But one of my more veggie inclined guides and mentors has pointed out another drawback. I eat a lot of mint sweets – it’s  a hangover from the alcoholic daze – and had recently discovered amazing mints with a hint of chilli in them. And had been told of a dealer. BUT they have gelatine (bovine) in them. This is harder than I thought. But then that seems to be the theme of today’s show.

Cya, keep(ing it fun) and still wearing that badge? Yes, and she noticed. 

Johnt850, Love, Sex, Intelligence personified.

I don’t want to say too much about the Record reporter on the basis that I don’t know if it’s going to be in until it’s in. (I know that sounds rude but it’s not meant to be but is strangely appropriate) but I was talking through the symptoms, diagnosis et al, including the world famous Digital Rectal Examination – twenty seconds of discomfort but it could save your life.

About a minute after this she then asked, ‘at what did time did you feel that things were serious?’

to which I could only reply, ‘When the nurse stuck her finger up my bum, I thought something is not looking too good here.’

So at what point did I realise my own Erectile Dysfunction was only temporary? Well, I started my sandblasting exactly three years ago and the treatment lasted daily for two months. Not long after it finished, Missie K and my gd frnd clr were running to raise funds for cancer research in the Race for Life. That afternoon, the Vampire Slayer sent me this link. It helped. No. No reason.


One Response to “The highway is your girlfriend as you go by quick Suburban trees, suburban speed And it smells like heaven (thunder) And I say roadrunner once roadrunner twice I’m in love with rock & roll and I’ll be out all night. Roadrunner. That’s right.”

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