If I knew back then what I know right now, You know I’d be King of the Ladies, And if I knew back then what I know right now, There’d be no ifs and buts and no maybes

What a curioulsy apposite lyric there from The Extreme, one of a number of CDs (3) I bought recently from a charity shop in Milngavie and I was delighted when the young lady behind the counter said, ‘Hey, You’ve got really good taste (for a meercat).’ Or did I just imagine those last few words?

And when I did a couple of Prostate Cancer awareness gigs this week at a college in the South Side of Glasgow, did I not notice several of the evaluations which said an ‘animated and bouncy delivery’……Altho’ I think technically the Charity calls them presentations rather than gigs, and nowhere in the script I’m supposed to deliver (*cough*) does it say the words ‘divorced and looking’, and I did get a strange look when I described a piece of information as ‘a bit of a radge stat’ and I prepared really badly…….I forgot to take my comb. But they seemed to go dead good.

And, L frae Troon, you’d be amazed how far we took that question…….just short of a demonstration……but in all seriousness I was asked more personal questions than usual, including what I gained from not having my prostate removed.

And I’d like to thank Gillian in the office for her help in organising. Nothing like living life on the Razor’s Edge, eh?

But, hey, it will soon be Prostate Cancer Awareness Month….if I’m allowed back out. Of interest to anyone in North Lanarkshire would be Dobbies Garden Centre Cumbernauld 10 – 3 (and I’m staying to the end) 24th March and a gig in Motherwell, 21st March but that’s ticket only, but, hey I can pull a few strings. But plenty of other things happening. Plug over.

But blogmeister and gorgeous W, how many In-Service days do teachers in North Lanarkshire get? What? Oh, it’s an icon on my desk top. That’s how. No. No reason.

So I met up with young AJ and his mum on Tuesday (That’s how I didnae go to the ‘beath, Northern Soul Dave…….aw right big man, ‘n that, but I plan on doing the ‘ton. Ok?) and he’s really good at the animal noises these days, to which he has now added a meercat impression, y’know that bit with the hands held up by the ears……….Look, I’m sorry. I talk to invisible Bush kangaroos okay? And, hey, you maybe read what Skippy wrote last week. Think about that when you’re sucking your Solero.

But I will tell Sunny D that you, the Vampire Slayer, agree with her that I am like meercat and VS, thank you for those inspiring words 😀  One day it is possible that everyone will speak like you. Freelance essay and dissertation editors like me will no longer be needed*. But my net is being cast into other waters**. But still conditional. 

* £5 -£6 (five – six pounds) per thousand words with discount depending in how well I know you 😉 Unless Son Brian’s negotiating. I drink my coffee black.

**That is possibly the most pretentious sentence I have ever written in three years of blogging.

And Missie K, Alabama 3 is not the only loud music I play at home. Sometimes I play music so loud, the neighbours bang on the wall in time to the beat, but if you have no A3 on the playlist for your fabuloulsy successful show on BOLT FM drive-time Mondays, then next time we meet I’ll supply some! 😉

But I’ve taken in a fair amount of work recently. A lot of it seems to be short notice with me as a last port of call. I mean I’m not complaining but agreeing on Thursday night to edit 80,000 words by the end of the following week did mean missing out on a good night on Friday (so few and far between but possibly fortuitous as I’d have ended up in the same West End establishment as my son……not sure about that) and an early Saturday morning request from a regular (ooo-er, madam) was do-able cos the football was cancelled. Again.

However, mustn’t grumble. The stationery shopping has still to be done. I can easily afford it. And coffee. Black. Maybe travel a reasonable distance to do it but no, no assumptions.

Oh, and I did get more information from the guy who asked for a copy of a recent one minute screenplay I wrote. Apparently it’s for the ‘one minute film project’. I am none the wiser.  

And finally I note the death of the distinguished actor TP McKenna. Legend has it that on his first visit to Glasgow, someone shouted at him, ‘Hi there, Wigwam, how’s it going?’ Apparently, it had never occurred to him. Now what can you do with jt? Actually, quite a lot, expecially when cooking cous cous……….No. I haven’t a clue what I’m talking about either.

Cya, keep(ing) it fun and still wearing that badge? Yes, except I took it off a couple of times this week when it was inappropriate. I’m thoughtful meercat.

Johnt850, who foolishly got off at Langside Railway Station earlier this week for Langside College. No. It’s not the closest.

And so this is National Children of Alcoholics’ Week and I think you can guess what it’s all about. And I’ve been speaking to a number of unconnected people over the last few weeks where lives are being affected by alcohol – not because of any magical cure I may possess – but in some cases, for example, I am the only addict they know well. Albeit recovered. Not recovering.

But one of the biggest influences in my recovery was Son Brian and girlfriend, KT, who were the first people to get me back into pubs. I think I was in three different Wetherspoons in about two months, when so many other people were saying, ‘No. Honest. I’d be happy with just a Costa coffee.’

How much of my life before Cold Turkey Sunday was me drinking alone I’m not sure….in the final few weeks it was happening more and more, and I’ve discussed this with a friend recently, but what the two of them achieved was getting me back into a situation where I felt relaxed but making me realise what I could and couldn’t do.

It wouldn’t work for everyone but there’s a lot more ways of help out there than sometimes we realise.

This is tribute to Shakespeare, bravest of all meercats. I’d like to think I was Tosca, but maybe I’m Mozart. Watch it and weep.



One Response to “If I knew back then what I know right now, You know I’d be King of the Ladies, And if I knew back then what I know right now, There’d be no ifs and buts and no maybes”

  1. Blogmeister Says:

    I think they had 2 this month.
    And I’ve done that too. Why would you attach MOUNT FLORIDA train station to LANGSIDE college?

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