You will not be able to stay home, brother. You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out. You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip, skip out for beer during commercials, Because the revolution will not be televised

And that’s a request (kinda) from the NUJ Chapel at the BBC ahead of this winter of justified Dis-Con-Dem-t. (Et tu, Vince?) Altho’ the Wu Tung Clan say it will be televised. And that slightly worries me. Not the televising of the revolution but the fact that the WTC and Gil Scott-Heron were already on this MP3 player I found in the house. Obvioulsy I must have ‘obtained’ it during my alkoholic gap year but did I really go out with a Black Pantherette in 2006? Here? In Summerston?

So I’ve got some serious cancerly stuff which will be below the line but don’t go straight there ‘cos I’ve not written it yet. So most of today will be a load of nonsense (eh?) but can I just say the first sensible words yet in Movember came from women (and you wonder why most of my friends are female but, yet, I’m not gay) The sensiblest of all was Michelle Watt who well described the basic symptoms and said, ‘Any worries? Get it checked’.

So before I mention my friends can I mention stv’s The Hour where not only have they stopped making sausage and egg pie but they must be aware of my conversion to pescatarianism (ethically justifiable) because they produced an onion tart which was fried onions and garlic philly cheese on top of rolled out pastry and slammed in the oven. Imaginative or what?

No. I was drawn to the Herb Lady. No. Not pot-pourri and scented cushions. Fireworks vodka. Serioulsy. Get a bottle of vodka. Put chillis in it and leave it for several weeks and then strain. Into a nice bottle. The burn, Ellroy, the burn…….my tongue came so close to sticking to the screen……. 😛

Drooling swiftly on.

And my foray into Job Search has started but I want to keep details of my first session down there fairly confidential. ‘Cos she was awfully gorgeous but has a very distinctive first name. And seems to be busy most Saturdays coming up soon. One knock back I can take. Two knock backs and I’m happy to settle for being good friends. Oke?

And it occurs to me that knockback is one word, not two, otherwise the plural would be knocks back. It’s not a word I use often.

(I’m good – usually – with dissertation words )

And as for this idea of putting cards round the door (singular) ? No. No result. Yet. But, let’s have some concrete reality, shall we?


Jayne – awfully good documentary at GFT about Fairfields but why did Helen hit me with the paper plate? And I’m thoroughly looking forward to the Prestwick film gig. And I’d be more than happy to help Kirsten with her research into the lives of women in Govan. No. No innuendo.

Jayne’s daughter – thanks for being there. 😀 😀 😀

Jayne’s daughter’s dad – did you have to be there? 😦 😦 😦

Jaymi – brilliant idea for a book (here we go again). I have idea for plot and characters and will start it off; I will then commit suicide in a very public yet bizarre fashion involving one hundred buttered rools on a Sunday morning; this will allow you to finish it off and gain lots of cash and kudos.

W – pescatarianism (ta) and intro to various forms of dance which I find myself practising on seemingly deserted railway stations (Summerston, Wendysday night and I was applauded) but also I didn’t realise how awfully often I say ‘awfully’ until you pointed it out. Gosh.

The lady in the dentist’s waiting area (Maryhill Road) – who told me she was on medication before she told me she was listening to a crossed line on her mobile but, ‘Son. It’s no’ switched on………..’

The Vampire Slayer – I know some folk who’ve moved to ‘a house, a very big house, in the country’ near Aberfoyle and they’re worried about the possibility of vampires but that’s not our patch, is it? (Stuart and Anne, enjoy)

Jack London – for saying in 1876 that ‘after God had finished the rattlesnake, the toad and the vampire, He had some awful stuff left with which He made a scab’. (small trade union point but there are lines I do not cross)

Jock W – I do wish you hadn’t phoned me when you were out walking your dog. I got confused and did something unspeakable to the neighbour’s cat. 

Anybody I know called clr/Claire* – I’d forgotten the B52s had named a planet after you. (When dancing was dancing – see various YouTubes)

* cancer connections to three……….

And finally, research has shown that half of all adults go a fortnight or more without washing their pyjamas. Not me guv, I don’t wear any.

cya, keep(ing) it fun and still Wearing that badge? Gosh, yes.

Johnt850, a man with a lot in common with Giles Coren

So to the serious cancerly bit. This blog has always been open and honest. It’s why it exists. As many folk know I say, as far as I am concerned, my own prostate cancer is sorted but every so often I get my blood tested. (PSA test). And I did recently. And it’s gone back up (mathematically) quite considerably which is the wrong direction. Now, this is not necessarily bad news; that the cancer’s coming back or anything like that. It just throws you a touch. Actually it threw me quite a lot. For a day or so.

As did a report in the Herald of Glasgow which I didn’t fully understand. It talks about how research has shown that ‘deaths from high-risk prostate cancer can be cut by giving men hormonal therapy and radiation treatment’. Yes. Me. I am still here because of that treatment. It’s not new.

But its description of the eight weeks of daily radiotherapy that I had to go through, and the PSA news, brought back lots of memories of tears behind the bike shed at the Beatson. 

And then it said, ‘However, radiotherapy is not ‘a soft option’ for prostate cancer’. Well, speaking objectively, I never thought it f**king was and if my cancer (and I want no proprietorial rights) did come back, then that is an option I no longer have available to me.

I’ll maybe freeze the fireworks vodka, shall I? Safer that way, perhaps. Eh, Skippy? Gosh, yes, jt.


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