don’t look so horrified. I preserve with formaldehyde. nobody likes their body cold. I doll up and my bodies sold. can’t say I like this from the scent. c’mon and let it go

No messages in the lyrics this week and I thought why not something melodic, mainstream and musical? And then I thought, ‘Why?’ So that’s ‘Who Brings a Knife to a Gun Fight?’ by Audio Karate from the CD Lady Melody. The first rule of a Gin Fight (I know what I’m saying) is that there are no rules (and Chuck Palahniuk is my favest author of all time. This week.)

I was reminded, dear listener, of the time, a few years back, when a few of us were drinking in a local hostelry when for some reason we were invited outside for a ‘square go’ (there are no rules except Marquis of Wyndford rules) and on the way out one of our number had the presence of mind to pick up a half brick. He then had the same presence of mind to bring it crashing down on the head of one of the opposition. This gave us enough time, and enough element of surprise, to run.

So I suppose that, with ‘no, no connection’, brings us to the rainforestriverman’s visit to the Easterhouse Learning Community (ELC) and his ‘inspirational presentation’. I’ve got to be careful when I go to these things with him. I tend to laugh before the punchlines. Still I answered a few questions myself, informally, and I found myself wondering why these, mostly female, educationalists seemed so familar to me. The old Clatty Pat’s at Kelvinbridge is the answer. Obviously.

The rrm was best man at my wedding xx years ago. I wanted my flatmate Viv ……… to be my best man. She had an amazing laugh. It could silence a cinema audience talking through the curry shop ad in Pearl and Dean 🙂

Incidentally, W, I have started Burroughs’s Naked Lunch again. It only makes sense when I read it out loud. Which led to a presumably avoidable incident at the cucumber counter in the ASDA. I would like to apologise publicly for a number of things recently, incidentally, but would somebody tell that security guard I am not his ‘friend’? (One of the most memorable shopping trips I have ever been on was with e when she bought four cucumbers for the price of two. You had to be there. I think).

And daggering is a dangerous, yet jolly interesting form of dance, originally from Jamaica, but tbh, anyone who remembers the staff of Bonkers (a club/showbar near Central Station from way back) has seen it all before. They were the show. It later became Buffalo Joe’s. But I digress.

As I, now, cos of an incident involving a fly, have a badly bruised finger. (We used to worry that this would be how nuclear wars would start). Middle finger. Left Hand. Long story. Last time it happened it led to a visit to A & E. And a splint. Oh, and a filling’s just fell out. Of my mouth.

Oke. So, on the tekkie front, I have achieved so much. (I complained a lot last week. In fact I’ve been a real grouch since mid-September. Hence the apology.)

Anyway, there is a new phone working downstairs. Black. Easy peasy, lemon squeazy. But volume control not good. The analogue phone upstairs was a present from ex-wife on occasion of separation xx-y 1/2 years ago. It was six months before I checked the pre-recorded message she’d so kindly left on it. Explained a lot.

The new toilet handle is kinda working. Why don’t instructions tell you to keep the split pin before they tell you to remove it?  It’s a very bulbous handle, btw. When it comes back up after discharging ………………….complete your own innuendo, I think.

The digital photo frame from Son Brian is up and running with a random selection of pics from mobile phone including a pic of Bellshill YMCA and a very empty hall with Prostate Cancer Charity stand…… 😉 

And I found an empty MP3 player, which is now full of new music, but dear listener, it marks an interesting departure for me, three years and nine months after Cold Turkey Sunday (Son Brian’s birthday is always the nine months mark). I am about to walk the city streets with neither Green Day or Alabama 3 for company. How will I cope?

Hang on. It’s got photos on it but how?……omg!……News of the World. Ten years from now…….or am I too much of a gentleman?

And finally, and quickly,  I’ve just had one of those phone calls when I’m asked what two rooms in the house I’d like to improve. So I said, ‘the dressing room in the maid’s quarters and the en-suite bathroom in the groom’s quarters above the stable’, and the caller hung up on me, before I could say anything about wanting a conservatory…….Curious. 

cya, keep(ing) it fun, and still wearing that badge?

Well, no, but nobody read anything into that. The jacket to which it was welded on needed washed as it looked as if I’d done everything except sleep in it. No, these days, I take my clothes off before I go to bed to sleep. Actually going to bed to sleep is in itself a great step forward. Looking back.

Anyway the badge continues to be worn. With pride. On different jackets. Apart from the new waterproof one. Obvioulsy. Well, once already. Before I’d thought it through. Can one small prick do that much damage?

Johnt850, contriteness personified, but average is good.

And a quick cancerly word below the line, if I may.

To those scientists, who recently claimed that people tend to get seriously stressed just before they start treatments for cancer such as radiotherapy or chemo – that may be true for some but I was just so relieved when I got my dates for treatment. The real stress, for me, was in the waiting. It’s a walk you gotta walk yourself, but I’d much rather you didn’t have to, and I’m happy to talk. Too much sometimes…..xx

There are so many mindsets that need changing, tho’, aren’t there? Maybe the security guard does know me. I never thought to ask.

2 Responses to “don’t look so horrified. I preserve with formaldehyde. nobody likes their body cold. I doll up and my bodies sold. can’t say I like this from the scent. c’mon and let it go”

  1. andrew12 Says:


    excelent info, keep it coming…

  2. jake Says:


    excelent post, keep it coming…

Leave a Reply to andrew12 Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: