and i can’t complain, it seems that i’ve got everything i need and i just can’t explain why things aren’t right it’s a mystery its balance how my ponderings are countless…………….

The music I’ll explain later but first something unusual for me – a request. I need help. Y’see 

http://www.thewordprocess.net  

has been doing lots of student dissertation proofreading and editing at all levels and enjoying it. I like the interaction with the students. And the money.  The bulk of the work (UKwide) came through a Google ad/sponsored link but recently Google changed to Instant Search and its algorithms (eh?) are all upset and no-one is finding me. The big boys seem to have taken over the sidebar on the right.

My keyword is dissertation but it’s key to so many similar services, so that’s why I need help; how do I overcome this problem? Plus how else do I reach the dissertation market? I’ve done some of the obvious things but I’ll not say what they are, except Glasgow student newspapers don’t seem to do classifieds. Thanks in anticipation. All ideas considered.

And that partly explains the music – RX Bandits – which seems to be available on a damn fine and excellent website also of interest to students and is produced by the gorgeous W 

http://studentessayhelp.webs.com/ 

It’s complementary to mine (‘I like your website. It’s really nice.’ ‘I like yours too. It’s very friendly.’) So anyway, all suggestions gratefully received. And a coal bunker. On behalf of us both, ta.

Now, having never done that before, I have no idea where I go with the blog, so I’m going back to bed………No, actually. Hang on. Watch this;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8CT8XErlDI

Can I add coal bunker delivery men to that list? No. No reason.

And maybe the ppl who designed Bellshill’s one way system and killed a fairly decent Main Street by putting a roundabout at either end……and PT’s manager for ruining a successful five at the back system by changing it to four at half time……and the woman who sold me a Green Day CD case in a Helensburgh charity shop knowing there was a Snow Patrol CD inside it and I hate Snow Patrol….and a guy I don’t know but kinda dislike except I don’t dislike anyone (not mad keen on Gavin Henson) or grudge anything that I do for other people……..but thanks to Calum for his advice regarding my car and the garage think it’s a one-off – like my hopes of adequacy….and 16lbs 7 ozs has remained that name for some time now and I blame the parents………but amazing thanks for the birthday pressies…..serious wow! Skippy was pleased.

So I did some massive retail therapy of my own, altho’ I’d like to thank fragrant smelling L of the two monuments for her inspiration, and isn’t it easy when your colour is black? I’d also like to thank one very helpful female assistant in a well known High Street retailer. I spent loads, I was that excited. 

Altho’ I did get one telephonic query late on Friday afternoon, explaining she got my number off the Internet (always a terrifying moment that. What service was I offering at the time?) and, when I gave her a quote over the phone, she said, ‘That’s very cheap. I’ll need to ask my dad.’ I’m not a great businessman, am I? I’m just as bad at that as I am at asking……oops, phone. Hang on…..out.

(And it wasn’t a Google ad response)

But speaking of Bellshill, and who isn’t these days, the leek and potato soup went down well, the bottles of water were drunk and, and, and there was something else wasn’t there? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmint.

And speaking of The Hour, and who isn’t these days, it was nice to hear Dr Debbie remind men of the importance of getting ‘things’ checked early (or in my case….just in time) but FFS, did you see that bacon and egg pie that Michelle McManus cooked the other day? Would my favest vegetarian look away now, please?

It was massive Desparate Dan stuff. Cow Pie. Out of DC Thomson. In Dundee. (which isn’t as bad as I make it out to be and if there’s a good reason for going there, I go) but Michelle loved it. With some lettuce on the side. She loves her grub does Michelle. And her drink. I had Roast Vegetable Pasta in Cafe Milano in Garelochead the other day. And met a removal man who said, ‘Of course, you’ve given up the drink as well, haven’t you, jt.’ ????????

So can I apologise publicly to Jaymi, and who doesn’t these days? Did I really call you what I called you? I shouldn’t be jealous of people’s hangovers particularly when they have an entire morning ahead of them serving rolls’n’bacon’n’sausage’n’black pudding and that’s before all the schoolies from John-Paul Secondary come in for lunch, sneaking in the chips they’ve bought from the Philly next door. How come there’s never any curry sauce when I ask for it?  

And yes, Vampire Slayer, when you phone me on the mobile it comes up as Vampire Slayer and Missie K as Missie K and hahahahahahahahaha…..I’d completely forgotten that one. 🙂  All of which makes for a rich tapestry of my life should anyone look at my list of names and numbers. (Like, if I get knocked unconscious by a jealous boyfriend and they need to phone someone……..will they know that psycho clr is my psychologist or will they think…….?)

Who the hell is Petals? And I must be the only person in the world, lying unconscious, who would want to see a psychologist before a para-medic.

And finally, I am re-reading William Burroughs’s Naked Lunch (Yes. A reason) and I had forgotten all the Scottish connections.  In the midst of all the strange drug fuelled references, for example, there is mention of something uniquely Scottish, something uniquely tenemental; the old practice of attaching a tube into the gas bracket on the stair landing and sending a whiff or so into a glass or bottle of milk. Oblivion called. Quickly. Apparently. But does that explain the RX in RX Bandits?

And finally final, on the sub-committee front, I have made my decision but there’s as much chance of it happening as there is a former member of the Hitler Youth called Benny being serenaded by Susan Boyle in a park on the south side of Glasgow.

cya, keep(ing) it fun and still wearing that badge

Johnt850, and I’ll be Agnelli if you’ll be Nelson.

And my alter ego has received two invites to an Evening Reception at the Scottish Parliament at the end of Oct with Guest (s….presumably). It’s either ‘cos he spells his surname with, and without, a ‘p’ or recognition that he lives in two universes. What if one accepts and the other declines?