Ah remember me, I used to live for music Remember me, I brought your groceries in. Well it’s Father’s Day and everybody’s wounded First we take Matalan and then we take Berlin.

A bright and cheery song from the pen of Leo Cohen there. Normally I check lyrics on a site called Sing365. Today I just listened and wrote the words down. Don’t think I got them quite right, did I?

Anyway dedicating that to W who’s in Berlin for a few days and Jaymi who’s heading there. Both with amazingly similar ideas of how to have a great time. In Berlin. Gosh, I wonder what it’d be like to have a holiday with both of them, dear listener?

The gentle sarcasm didn’t quite work there, did it? I didn’t write lol, did I? 😦 I know what hedonistic impression I have just given.

(Y’know, there are times when the cold shower has already switched itself on……back shortly)

And I’d also like to dedi the song to Son Brian. No. No reason. But I wonder how many Father’s Day pressies one man can have just two weeks before his actual birthday. When I will be 42.

And hang on……the lyric applies to e as well.

So I’m in a wee bit of a holiday mood. Hunners of pounds has entered my bank account including a large element of actual cash which was handed to me across a crowded table in a coffee bar called Offshore down Kelvinbridge way. Now some people may have been tempted to put this straight into their pocket and avoid the tax.

But I don’t pay tax. The taxman pays me. No. I don’t understand it either, but that form in the corner over there needs filled in soon or else it’ll stop.

That must really annoy Tweedledum at my old Alma Mater. Tweedledee retired before he achieved mediocrity. That’s their working titles in the screenplay that is now being hawked around.

Alkoholically – and without any reference to Gazza ‘cos addicts do not pass comment on other addicts – I realised how far I have come in my attempts to bring about acceptance and understanding of my own addiction when I asked my painter (I don’t do D-I-Y…..okay? and if no-one D-I-Yed, we’d have a lot  less unemployment. ….okay?) to give me a quote for re-painting the porch ‘cos it had got wasted over the winter. ‘Unlike yourself, jt’, he quipped. We laffed. 

(Incidentally, while we’re discussing incompetent bosses with no people skills and no vision, can I say a wee word about the BP ‘oil spill’? Eleven workers died in the explosion that ’caused’ the spill. Okay? Can we, please, remember them?)

So, to holidays, and can I stress that we are currently at Vampire Red Alert as the Vampire Slayer is about to leave the country for the foreseeable future. I am her officially appointed ‘skank hitman’ so any sightings of skank or vampires, please let me know.

And Missie K’s going soon, and L’s just back, and my Cumnock Corr’s going soon and Louis’s just back, and just when does the rainforestriverman actually run the corner shop? But the speed of your box packing, rrm, always amazes me, and I still miss wassername from the Caimans. And bestest friend Caitlin’s off somewhere soon as well.

And at this point I want to mention her uncle with whom I had a very pleasant lunch this week. And it was my turn to pay. And I put the notes in the wallet with the bill. And he picked it up and took to the waitress and said, ‘Keep the change’………..tbh………I thought that was pretty gallus. I am young. I am still learning the ways of life 😛

And thanks for your holiday advice. Barca beckons. I have formed a small sub-committee consisting of Jaymi, Oonagh and Nick and their advice is being sought even as we speak. Well, not exactly now ‘cos it’s six o’clock in the morning. And the shower’s not working. I think it’s a wee bit like Wayne Rooney. Problems with the pressure.

But it’ll soon be the new football season and instead of visiting the shanty town that is Airdrie United’s ground (death to the diamonds) we have fabulous Falkirk to look forward to. Yes I have already spent an afternoon writing in next season’s fixtures. I’ve never been to Cowdenbeath (28/08/10)

What’s that Skippy? World Cup? What do I think has been lacking so far?

The totty cam.

This, as every student of broadcast will know, is the camera that looks for good looking women in any audience at a TV event. I first came across it in my early days at the BBC when I watched Songs of Praise being recorded. One camerman has the job of looking for good looking women  and the director says ‘I’ll have that one,’ and everybody laughs. Except Nigel.

And the horn doesn’t bother me. One of my fave football moments was at Airdrie United a couple of seasons ago when about fifty of us PT fans spent the last half hour of the game banging (our hands) against the corrugated iron that is the wall there, chanting ‘Firhill Army’, or similar. Hard work, banging. But pleasant 😉 

And finally, I watched some of the State Visit of Carla Bruni to the UK the other day. Did you see her take her cardigan off? When did you last see sophistication like that? The answer, dear listener, is not that long ago, actually 🙂

cya and keep(ing) it fun, just like Leo

Johnt850, the vuvuzela of his generation

And a wee word about a guy I know whose cancer has returned, and I did the wee note saying how much medical science has moved on in this area and all that stuff. And it has. I’m quite re-assured that should mine come back (because the cancer is an evil bastard) there are more choices for treatment available than before.

But what I didn’t tell him was what one consultant said to me in the course of  my research for the radio doc, when he told me how he hoped never to see me professionally. ‘Why’s that?’ I naively asked. ‘Because by the time patients reach me, they’re too far gone; so by the time they leave me, they’re dead.’

We’ve made tremendous advances in cancer diagnosis and treatment. Despite my optimism we still have a long way to go.

Y’know some jobs are like rocket science; others just need a simple transference of existing skills.


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