She’s not a girl who misses much, Do-do-do, oh yeah She’s well acquainted With the torch of a velvet hand Like a lizard on a window pane…..Mother Superior jump the gun

The Breeders there with one of their best known, and a band I’m getting back into. Man. I was going to play Frankie Miller’s Bottle of Whiskey (sic) – somehow I seem to have a preview download if such a thing exists but it is available from 3rd May – but I do worry that sometimes my ‘in your face’ approach to coping with alkohol belittles the efforts of those who cope by different means. 

Y’see I was out last week with new folk, knew some of the people, had good time and somebody said the next day, ‘you were on fire, jt850.’ So sometimes I worry that I give the wrong impression but yet it’s the right impression but some people might see it as wrong. I don’t do stereotypes. I don’t apologise when I’ve nothing to apologise for. Sorry. 😦

The other thing is, if I do a strange txt (tick), message (tick), mail (tick), call (tick) or conversation (tick) I can’t plead drunkenness or highness from the night before. Frighteningly, I am sober and theoretically in control. But, hey, the sight of a well turned ankle……..and no, she hasn’t been in touch, since you ask. 😦

I’m not really sure where that came from. Sorry.

Altho’ I did find a note from a ‘to-do’ list of years ago which said, ‘bring in glue from garage and have big glue day.’ Now that did worry me. I don’t remember ever having a garage. Serioulsy.

But I do agree with the Vampire Slayer. ‘Save water. Drink champagne.’ I would if I could but I can’t. But I still owe you and Missie K a couple of bottles. And nice Icelandic gag, bestest friend Caitlin. Not that I understood it. Hope your gran had good birthday, btw.

But I need to concentrate more. Take myself more serioulsy. lol. hahahahaha…….meh, but…….

For example I was at a Social Media seminar at Glasgow California University the other day and whereas any normal businessman (eh?) might have taken proper notes and ‘made good first contact with Gill from GCU Marketing’, I asked her how her couscous was and she said that her boyfriend had put too much chilli in it. 

(I get my genes from my illegitimate grandmother on that side of the family. I am so proud of her. No. No reason)

Marketing. That’s the word. I need to sell myself more (Again? No. Not that sort of selling self) Need to take expert advice. I know. People selling cosmetics on the concourse of Queen Street Station. One in particular. Yes. That one.

Long magenta hair, pleasant face, ‘trips’ about, dressed in black. Has cleavage. Will travel. Will certainly go far. She comes up to me and asks, ‘Do you use cosmetics?’ Has smile playing on her moist, magenta lips. I reply;

‘Well I do use a facial scrub and my current male moisturiser is an advanced SPF 15 with organic cocoa butter and jojoba oil but it is paraben free.’* But she’s gone. Was it something I said?

*Many people ask why I feel I owe so much to gd frnd Clr. Obvioulsy, I reply, the importance of good facial preparation for men,…..and you thought something else?……. shame. 😉 Most of my hair products, for example, are tea tree oil based. Hence the good looks.

And I work out. Honest. I don’t go to a gym but most folk know I power walk a lot in the local graveyard with MP3 at full blast. Very embarrassing when you walk past a funeral and it’s the chorus of The Enemy’s Technodanceaphobic. But, dear listener, I do several sets of sit-ups and press-ups and stuff each day. I do. Shirtless, I am hunkier than Mark Wahlberg.

But that’s enough about me. Let’s talk about Planet Holyrood. It’s back. On frequency and can I say well done to the blogmeister for his efforts and, no, I wasn’t doing anything at 5.42 am anyway. For those of you who don’t know it, it’s a radical websitey look at Scottish politics written by a lot of new exciting young talent – and me. I can do exciting.

Jaymi writes for it, you know. (And some fellas). Anyway, take a look. Might still be the odd teething problem, but in a week when the Sun’s subs allow pages 9 and 19 to be almost exactly the same on Thursday morning, perfection takes time.

So, whilst we’re in Hyper Link City (Wham Bam, Thank You Mam), let’s just say General Election nights may never be the same again – check out

It’s really weird ‘cos I, along with others, am writing about an event still two weeks away but it has to be ready to run just after the polls close a week on Thursday. Anyway, link in. 

However, convolutingly linking Jaymi, Bowie and I suspect, Missie K, (L frae Troon, the guest list is going in a similar direction to the last one for an event at t850 Towers. We should meet to discuss your needs) can I also mention that next year, 2011, is the fortieth anniversary of the Old Grey Whistle Test. I mentioned it recently to someone slightly less than my 42 years who said, ‘Yes, Mr t850, we love it. We watch it regularly on Channel YouTube if you want to. This lady’s not for Tubing.’

(A prize if you understand that little reference)

Annie Nightingale breathed on me once in a BBC canteen. The rest of the day was total oblivion. But nice total oblivion. Aaaaah. Happy daze.

And finally, just to reiterate, clrly good facial preparation is important. My shaving gel is tee tree and mint. Worth a quick sniff. Eh, bien.

Oh, and I meant to mention being a voyeur at a screenwriting thing this week and the lesbian who turned up for a different event but joined in anyway. Maybe, next week. Is it really just 6.27 am? Damn you blogmeister. Amy Pond doesn’t like you anyway. It’s me………… :P. Oh, and that’s a programme proposal done as well.

cya and keep(ing) it fun

John(what’s he got that I haven’t?)t850 but, hey, taps heed, indeed

Some people, btw, kindly, pointed out to me the piece in the papers which suggested that continual poor weather conditions contributed to the possibility of prostate cancer. To be honest we’re not sure what causes it altho’ it is now in my genes. Sorry, Son Brian.

With me it was lifestyle. I wasn’t always the clean cut college tutor, shirt and tie and a perfect time keeping record (I worked more than my contracted hours. Just not always at the times I was supposed to. But I never let a student down, and still won’t, even tho’ I’m no longer clean cut or a tutor) 

I’ve done a lot of interesting things in my life (many post-marriage I stress) so, as the alkohol seeped out post cold-turkey Sunday, the cancer saw its chance and leapt in. But, hey, the bastard was caught……just in time. So far, so good. 🙂


5 Responses to “She’s not a girl who misses much, Do-do-do, oh yeah She’s well acquainted With the torch of a velvet hand Like a lizard on a window pane…..Mother Superior jump the gun”

  1. Blogmeister Says:

    A couple of things…

    1. Thank you for you continued support of PH. As uni winds down we should have more time to dedicate to it.

    2. Facial skincare – I have read Cosmo (in the dark age before Men’s Health) and I learned 3 things – moisturise, moisturise, moisturise.

    3. I might be a teeny bit in love with Amy Pond – not Karen Gillan – especially after the “who’s a Mr Grumpyface today?” line.

    4. I can exclusively reveal that the Blogmeister has another online project in development. No spoilers yet though (oooh, cryptic).

  2. Johnt850 Says:

    POND’S MOISTURISING COLD CREAM combines two and three in one go and that’s as close as I’m going. I may have said too much already.

    (Hey, I can do cryptic enigmas with the best of them)

  3. Claire Says:

    Why do I have a reputation for being a men’s facial care enthusiast?

    I barely have an interest in female facial care and believe in the simplicity of soap.

  4. Claire Says:

    mens’ *

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