Get the musicians ready Get them good and hot Good and hot, woo Stand and deliver Give them everything you’ve got You got my number*

Fanny. But not as raunchy as I remember them. And please nobody look at the ‘recently added’ page of my iTunes cos it’s only The Runaways and Fanny at the moment. But music only. No pix. Rock chicks with guitars. Doncha’?

Yes. I’m back and my thanks to all those who took the time and trouble to make contact after last week and my ‘flakey’. It happened like everything else in the blog; exactly as told. So serious ta. Fun, it has been kept.

Except, gd frnd Clr, there’s a new kid on the block for to write my obit (he’s almost 30, 12 years younger than me). You haven’t forgotten, have you?

So let’s just do holiday prattle. Oh, hang on a second. The asterisk.

*C’est toujoirs ton appel mais plus tot que plus tard serait bon. Plait? 😦

Naw, a weird, but not gay, week. Can I stress, btw, I am not homophobic? I like my house. (I was telling Kenny the Shed Pimp about my new carpets and he said, ‘I know. I’ve read all about them.’ Sometimes I forget. Son Brian, the carpet inspector, likes them)

But it was bad weather, especially the really bad night, but I know for a fact that the Vampire Slayer and Missie K were out in the cold and wet. I can only imagine what they were wearing. (pauses) Hey, I worry, okay. There’s a meeting of the Great Council coming up soon, lunchtime meet, and I want them to be fit……just in case.

The date is scrawled on my arm. Most ppl use a pen. I happened to have a half-eaten plastic stirrer in my hand at the time. Unfortunate. 

Incidentally, I’d like to apologise to Jaymi for something said over breakfast this morning (regular listeners know who I’m talking about). Beckett ain’t that boring. Honest.

And a quick word about the new Doctor Who assistant, since we’re in this area…….to those who know what I’m talking about, I’ll stick with my original choice.  😀 Both have nice knees tho’.

Altho’ I note Karen Gillan describes her biggest influence in her long and distinguished career as a college lecturer (ho and hum) and ‘It’s really weird kissing Matt (Smith). I see him as an older brother.’ Those who have been appointed honorary sisters of mine in recent years (at least five of you) may wish to forget that last line. On the other hand…….

And to top teen angst queen, Lindsay C, and her top tip, ‘It really is okay to be yourself.’ No, it’s not.

Trust me, L, it’s a helluva lot more trouble than it’s worth. Ppl don’t want that. It’s tooooooooooooo challenging. Believe me.

Let’s move on. Some ppl may worry about the direction of this week’s blog. I don’t. I have been eating Vietnamese Whirls all day and I feel sick.

(‘I got ham, but I’m not a hamster.’….Bill Bailey in the stylee of The Killers)

So Merry Christmas to Radio Six’s Craig Charles’s Funk and Soul Show‘s Christmas Party down in Manchester this weekend. Thanks for the invite, Nick, but I had to go to Airdrie. (eh?) Death to the Diamonds. But we got off the train at Drumgelloch, didn’t get attacked there or back and got beat nil two.

And kinda related, some radio and TV ideas are in the creative maelstrom that is the Demus kitchen, and kinda even furtherly related, can I recommend the new clothes shop in Byres Road, We Love To Boogie, especially for the cupcakes they sell in the coffee bar bit. No. No reason.

(‘I haven’t had a good slag for ages’ …….Johnt850)

Except maybe that’s the problem. I have given up bothering about me. However, I do shave, shower, etc……I am, it has been suggested, uber-sensitive on behalf of other people – even if it is said by a former Miss Scotland. I do try to look out for/mentor/challenge people when I should ignore the fact that others paid to do that are not doing it and I should play down the almost arrogance I have in saying I’m a non-practising alkoholic. I should use apologetic words like I’m a recovering alkie and be applauded for my braveness.

I just don’t have that first alkoholic drink. Large Hadron Collider Science it ain’t. So from now on it’s Me! Me! Me! 

And finally, I mentioned to some folk the ad that appeared in the Herald for a trainee journalist. I didn’t get around to everyone. Sorry. Anyway, is this not something your lecturers and tutors should be doing? Also it asked for ‘shorthand skills’ and I’m not sure if these are being kept up to date by everyone.

But can I make one thing clear, in case some of my recent more creative comments have been mis-interpreted? I just don’t think University should be about preparing you for specific jobs and careers, not at under-graduate level anyway. I think it should be about opening up your minds to all sorts of things, and new subjects. The trick is to keep the minds open.

After all, look where it’s got me. (Damn and blast, I was doing so well up until then!)

cya and defo Keep(ing) It Fun


Except, almost as a direct consequence of the radio doc, I’ve been asked to take part in a Q & A panel at a major health conference later this month about long term patients getting their voices heard. It’ll be weird cos it is possible that I will have to tell 250 top Scottish health professionals about being an alkoholic with cancer (so far, so good as in currently sorted) and how I’ve been received, good and bad, by various people.

Ironic. Whilst I’d still like to talk about the making of the doc to students – (oke, I’ll do it unpaid and in many ways more relevant than a Radio 1 prod talking to UWS students; just not as sexy, but bald I ain’t) – others see a greater benefit from it.

The conference is called It’s All About Me, except it’s about other people as well, and my fellow panellist is someone called Clare (diff spelling) who will just so put me to shame. I know her. I will look such a fraud. Albeit unwittingly. She has different areas of concern (he said politely).

But in the land of the open minded, I love the fact that I told one of the organisers about the existence of the Vampire Slayer, and this organiser looked at me and said, ‘I haven’t seen any vampires for a long time. Please pass on my thanks.’

Suddenly, it’s all been worth it…..,almost. Plait? Juste une fois? (he whinged)

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