Everybody’s got demons, demons in the night, So you better start believing everyday’s a fight, yes it is, So we better start believing We can make it all alright

Well maybe not everyone, but I am only days away from the annual night when my demons come out and if I survive, then I am three years sober and solvent free (the sober is obvious, the rest is known to a few friends). Throw in the fact that my PSA (prostate blood test) has finally started heading downwards after all the treatment I had last year and the world seems dead good from here.

That’s why I’m happy enough to play The Answer (great gig during the week, btw) twice in two weeks, altho’ as JC, producer, said, ‘Don’t make it a habit.’ I think it’s a musical reference rather than a drink one. More of JC maybe next week but can I just say…..What magnificent chips Michela had, JC.

And can you stress to your students that I don’t normally carry small jars of hand and face balm with me, available from Lush in Buchanan Street, to hand out to good looking young women as soon as I meet them? Altho’……

No. In the spirit of upbeatedness obviously pervading me this week I have had discussions (not quite lofty) with the Vampire Slayer and I have set her a task. There is a grail to be sought. (Crossword buffs amongst you will have instantly gone anag 1,4 and you wouldn’t be far away).

I have left it to her to call a meeting of the Great Council and to set the agenda for the task ahead (like, is skank or trailer trash necessarily bad?)

The last time there was such a meeting was a defining moment in my life (pudding….toffee…..sticky.) As I was saying to Missie K only last week, not only did I come to terms with various decisions in my life that night but since then I have acquired eight albums by Green Day, and a DVD of them at Reading.

Oh, and following the expert slagging from my gd frnd Clr that night the house was redecorated. I look forward to recreating the full experience, with artistic licence, in the screenplay. No. No reason. 😀 😀 😀

Indeed a marvellous example of the species, skank, albeit unwittingly, was on the train to Paisley the other day;

‘I genuinely can’t remember a thing I said to her, but I definitely didn’t say that. Count.’ It’s at moments like that you turn the MP3 vol down to zero but continue to drum your fingers….just in case.

But it’s a pleasure to write for Watson’s Wind Up on BBC Radio Scotland; the writing credit, the audience laughter, the cheque……I’m a showbiz pro.

So let’s get The X Factor out of the way. Yes, Daniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, it’s a singing contest. I saw no magicians, vent acts or fat Greeks dancing on TV the other night.

Let’s cut to the chase and let me take the heat off the 1.24 Girl. Let’s talk SuBo. I agree she has a good voice but on the evidence of the pre-recorded, second take we saw transmitted last week, she has so much to learn. She has no stagecraft. Please will someone tell her how to get on and off  the stage. And not to make faces. It’s not funny. I’ll stop there.

Anyway I notice that another X Factor person, Alexandra Burke, is set to play my home town of Peterhead, described in one newspaper as ‘a small fishing community’. No. It’s more boring than that. It’s the ‘White Fish Capital of Europe’. That’s how boring.

So it is no coincidence that sixteen miles up the road (Fraserburgh) the world’s strongest and most expensive beer is now on sale. It’s called Tactical Nuclear Penguin and retails at £30 per bottle.

Sorry. I’ve been spending too much time in the same coffee houses as Frankie Boyle. I was very lucky in that I grew up with the North Sea at the bottom of my road. Literally. Rocks. Sand. Water. That’s not a bad place to learn about the facts of life. And death. Although I should stress that one was much more pleasant than the other.

So, to Christmas and some dates are being filled in and my first cards have been sent abroad, including a world renowned soccer academy in the USA, and I’ve bought my first present by mistake (it’s a long story and I’m not referring to the one last year that never got given…..gulp, sob, gulp, but I await guidance again this year. I could always phone…..mmmmm…..it’d be my call)

And so to those who say they don’t understand this blog – remember I write it sober; to the blogmeister you show me yours and I’ll show you mine; to Son Brian your latest biggest day ever is in my diary for next week; to BBC Reevel, you really pressed that guy on garlic futures the other night; and to bestest friend Caitlin, it’s almost exactly one year now and so much has happened, but you’ve always calmed me down when needed, so ta – I mean what is there not to understand?

And that’s maybe the point. For the first time since I went self-employed I’ve just arranged to draw lots of money out of one of my business bank accounts, not for a certain expense or business matter, but purely to shove in my wallet and spend, not even on ASDA groceries or my bar bill, but to have in my wallet so that the Great Council shall have champagne if they want; so that if I buy a Chrissie pressie and it doesn’t get used then so be it; and as all good bosses should do, when I take my staff out for Christmas, I’ll pay the entire bill.

Maybe it was worth being cried ‘scum’, ‘unlikely to cope’ and all these things…..maybe even the cancer helped…….maybe one of the greatest freedoms in the entire world is not having to do things that people always understand. Maybe……. No. No maybe. Definitely.

So if you’re not happy, don’t really understand what people or lecturers are saying, and it’s maybe only cos they wrote a book they’re there, you’re not alone. They don’t always know best. That’s my view, not a visual. Generally.

Today I helped arrange a meet for two good people. They both agreed without any fuss and it will be done. No. No hassle. It’s how it should be. Real journalistic PR. I’ll let you know when it’s published.

Yours, always keeping it fun, (smiley, smiley, george smiley)



‘Welcome to a new kind of tension, All across the alien nation, Where everything isn’t meant to be okay……..’

and then the drums kick in…..(Sorry, neighbours….this was written about five in the morning…..)

American Idiot. Green Day.


One Response to “Everybody’s got demons, demons in the night, So you better start believing everyday’s a fight, yes it is, So we better start believing We can make it all alright”

  1. Joe C. Says:

    Hi – great blog you have here. I get a lot from reading other sites about alcoholism – they are so educational. Thank you for having this blog. I don’t have time to read all the articles right now, I found this site when looking for something else on Yahoo, but I’ve bookmarked your homepage and will visit again soon to see the latest updates. The internet can be so helpful, and I have learned a great deal from reading sites like yours. As someone who has struggled with an addiction myself, I have started a site devoted to the topics. Visit my site if you’d like to read more. Have a great week!

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