And another thing. You should have known from the start The problems in hand are lighter than at heart. Be like the squirrel, girl, be like the squirrel. Give it a whirl, girl. Be like the squirrel.

Wise words there from The White Stripes and whilst it might seem quite innocous, try it turned up to vol level 11 and beyond in the ASDA car park with the windows open. Scared the hell out of the folk waiting for the free bus to the Acre Road flats.

Must have been what it was like at the Alice in Chains gig at the Barrowland (no ‘s’ and it’s safe) during the week and nothing like their dreadful performance with one song on Jools’s show the other night. Sorry about that, blogmeister et al. The ‘heads-up’, not the performance, that is. 😦

But before I go any further, can I just say one thing; everything in the blog happens, with maybe a slight embellishment. It was my gd frnd Clr in her semenal work Literary Generations which I (in-gag deleted) the other day who drew parallels between blogging and New Journalism. Albeit unwittingly, but to be on the same page as Wolfe and Thompson was a tremendous fillip in early daze. Serious ta.

So, yes, dear listener, I have been through the front doors of Bubbles, the Sauna on the South Side but for what purpose? My thanks to a number of ppl who contacted me to confirm it was in Merrylea ‘just beside the American Golf Shop’ but was now demolished. But, no, they had never been in. I merely make an excuse and move swiftly on.

And the reference to new shops in the Byres Road area was not about Waitrose and the (soon to be) Tesco’s Extra but some amazing new shops just arrived above De Courcy’s and anybody wining and dining with me in the Ashton Lane area in the near future (bookings being taken and some are being discussed and please feel free to get in touch) are welcome to come and see them with me. (C’est toujours ton appel, btw) 🙂

I was La Maisonette’s first ever customer yesterday. A birthday present for Son Brian’s mum, since you ask. No. I’ve never remarried. No. No reason.

And not all my presents for people come from Papyrus and Urban Outfitters. C’est tout que je dis. Actually, Francophiles out there….the gag that finishes with the line, ‘That’s You, That Is’, what’s a good translation?

But Gary: Tank Commander is back on BBC 2 Scotland. PT fans are soooooo talented. And the rock that says Limmy on Tour remains untouched in Summerston – cultural centre of…….Summerston. And someone must have died violently recently at the bottom of the road, cos there’s lots of flowers saying whatever flowers say at a time like that. Must have been someone local ‘cos no-one’s pinched the flowers.

And when I tell ppl I spent Friday afternoon in The Social, they all assume I mean the Job Centre and not the bar/brasserie place in Royal Exchange Square where I actually was.

And the Winers’ Club did meet last night and only time will tell regarding its impact on World events. I’m still coming to terms with the fact we had a Powerpoint presentation on Tin-Tin, the Belgian boy reporter. Serioulsy. I’d like to say I was tomato-juiced out of my mind, but I stay amazingly surprised at the number of licensed establishments in Glasgow who don’t stock it. The look I get when I ask for a virgin, Mary. 😉

But I absorb enough of the vapours and the vagaries to have a hangover without feeling the need……..worry not, support team.

But bad news from the Dinner for Son Brian from your Uncles Brian, Dennis and Jock. You’re….you’re….you’re paying for the next curry. Not. I tried, guys, I really did. Aaaaaargh!

They do do a good Virgin Mary (it was a joke, okay?) at the Lansdowne, where you can watch Scottish international football matches (if you must) when a bunch of rugby playing Fijians and First Scotrail combined to make it difficult to reach Dunfermline if you’re a PT fan but to see it described in The Times of Evening as ‘the pub hidden in a housing scheme’ came as a real surprise.

But speaking of PT fans with talent a big Well Done to Erik the Floodstalker, and his mate Martin, (both Caley Uny journo students) and their big Local News coverage of the Glasgow North East by-election. But before anyone accuses me of having any reservations about journo courses can I reassure journo students everywhere that, when Darryl (about to leave the Herald) Broadfoot says he learned more from (now dead) former colleagues than any journalism course could ever teach, that I think he was referring to just one, but WTF do I know….just in case.

But get out there! Come on down from the Tower Blocks and talk to people. There are a million stories out there, just waiting to be told. It’s what I love about travelling on trains, altho’ big apologies to Liz for the other day. Out of uniform it’s a totally different story. (Can I say that? Actually Jaymi said it, so I think I can) 

I think I meant Ivory Tower just there, didn’t I? Just Come on Down, anyway. You want introductions? I can do introductions. 😀

And am I bovvered that we have a Prime Minister who has sight problems and writes with a thick black felt pen and seemingly can’t spell? Naw. Iraq, Iran…does it matter? (It’s a joke okay?) Incidentally we don’t elect Prime Ministers in this country. The party with the most seats in Parliament wins.  Its leader, which the party members choose, becomes PM. C’est tout. So the cheap Kharzai dig doesn’t work.

So how much is fact, how much is fiction? How much is fantasy and how much embellishment? To quote Wolfe himself ‘Even hostile parodies admit from the start that the target has a distinct voice.’ Clrly I have absolutely no idea what that means.

And finally, in a week when nothing continues to happen – e, BBC, longed for meets and Leona Lewis phoning – can I say a further thanks to all those, including some sports pundits I was with, who are currently sporting moustaches to bring awareness to male health issues. No. I wear the ‘blue man cancer badge’ all the time. Yes. There’s a reason. But serious thanks.



Incidentally rainforestriverman, ‘blue man cancer badge’? Not one of mine. I think it works out 50-50. So far, so good, so I can’t stop laughing some times. So, What the Hell?


4 Responses to “And another thing. You should have known from the start The problems in hand are lighter than at heart. Be like the squirrel, girl, be like the squirrel. Give it a whirl, girl. Be like the squirrel.”

  1. Blogmeister Says:

    Yeah, Alice in Chains were pretty pish on Jools on Wednesday night.
    I’m happy to report that the Barrowlands (it can have the s in it if Tesco can have ‘s) performance was possibly the best live gig I’ve ever been to.
    And I’ve been to a lot of live gigs, and saw AiC twice before too.

    They did a 3 song set on Jools’ show on Friday and they were much better, Wednesday was a glitch.

  2. johnt850 Says:

    I think my favourite ever and, since I’m still 42, I must have been 4 or 5 at the time, was a guy called Rory Gallagher….now there was a guitar hero…….It was at the Apollo and a few weeks later I saw the amazing Eagles opening for a crap Neil Young. Happy daze.

  3. Flowers Says:

    Your blog looks wonderful. It was nice going through your blog. keep up the good work. cheers 🙂

  4. Dennis Kelly Says:

    Great night on Friday John – apart from the food and the company it was a great night. You failed miserably on the key objective for this week’s blog. Shame on you. I’ll have to sort it now! I’m sending the boys round! Anyway, great to see you and take care.

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