I have a secret to tell, From my electrical well, It’s a simple message and I’m leaving out the whistles and bells……Make a little birdhouse in your soul

One of the many great songs from the genius that is They Might Be Giants and they’re booked for my final appearance at Maryhill Crem in that rolling five years I have left. Well their CD is. I hope it’s being looked after.

It’s the same five years I had a year ago, just in case.

So, if I’m playing them, then there must be an important reason for that and there is. Y’see, years ago I was once The Monkey of the Week on Dr Paul’s Sub City Radio Show. It made a big impression on me. But despite that, when Dr Paul, quizmaster extraordinaire, asked if he could borrow the blog for a good cause that wasn’t alcohol or cancer related, The High Horse Level Committee paused…..for a nano second. The following public service announcement (without guitars) is in his words:


The stupidest answer you can give at a pub quiz is “me” when the question is “whose round is it?” But apart from that, I’ve marked some whoppers in my time. I once asked:

Q. What African country did footballer Bruce Grobbelaar play for? Clue: the country’s name starts with the letter “Z”.

To which one team scribbled:

A. AC Milan.

Perhaps someone was mixing up Silvio Berlusconi and Robert Mugabe. Or maybe I’m too generous and the team were actually dumber than rocks.

At least they were able to take part. Imagine how much more difficult the pub quiz in your local would become if you were suddenly unable to read or write. Of course, now I’m the one being stupid: everyone can read and write nowadays, can’t they?

Well maybe they can round here, but down in Africa it is another story. 150 million ladies and gentlemen are illiterate in Sub-Saharan Africa. The reasons are many but the result is clear: more poverty and powerlessness. It’s not just pub quizzes you miss out on when you can’t read: there are medicine bottles, election ballots, newspapers and johnt850’s blog.

Seriously, it’s a big problem, so with International Literacy Day coming up (8th September), my contribution is to run a quiz for Book Aid International, a charity which sends books to Africa. So I’m asking you for money. But don’t freak out: it’s a win-win. Enter my fundraiser online pub quiz and you can win 12 books, all signed by their authors.

It’s a varied prize bundle: there’s some serious stuff from Margaret Atwood, funny stuff from Simon Armitage, wild crime from Nick Brownlee and, as they say, much much more! There’s even the autobiography of tall footballer Peter Crouch whose unique sales point is being tall, but its still a good prize. A dozen quiz questions to win a dozen books. Go for it.

Thanks to johnt850 for letting me publicize the quiz here and perhaps when this blog gets turned into a book, he could donate a signed copy for next year’s quiz.

Come and take part and don’t worry – it’s multiple choice, so it’s (almost) impossible to hand in stupid answers…


Dr Paul and Johnt850

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