I’m gonna take you out tonight, I’m gonna make you feel alright. I don’t have a lot of money but we’ll be fine. No, I don’t have a penny But I’ll show you a good time.

Little Boots (got the name right there, Nick and Missie K) offering my services if you want to get more out of the West End of Glasgow; from Offshore in Gibson Street, where we have our own hookahs Rainforestriverman, to Oran Mor at the top of Byres Road, to, well maybe not the Three Judges at Partick Cross.

No. Not for that reason. I just wasn’t a real ale drinker and a pint of lager with a twig in it was not my fave beverage. 😦 But maybe one day I should bite that particular bullet and walk that particular plank.

So no angst this week. We’re back to the original mantra and ethos of ‘keeping it fun’. And I’ve been ‘drinking’. I think my fave bar of recent years is Bar 10 in the city centre, but I hate the tall swivelly stools. Is that vertigo? Aye, it’s about four feet to the floor. (Kerrching!) Really nice place, tho’. I just like it.

And no, I didn’t go to Airdrie for the football (Death to the Diamonds). It was a combo of a dead washing machine (death confirmed by AS Electrics of St George’s Cross) and a rubbish bank, Lloyds TSB, who have mucked up my credit card account. Can I say that the frontline troops are doing their best but the wankers (polite rhyming slang for bankers….how soon we forget) at Head Office can’t be arsed sending out extra helicopters.

And can I say I have nothing against the town of Airdrie? I know some really nice people, okay, some really nice young women from there* but it’s the football club and Section B I hate. (I didn’t need to ask BBC Al, the blog’s bad taste pal, if I could do a Section B inbreeding gag. I just didn’t)

Sorry, but I do feel better, and they’ll try to get their own back. They tried once before. (News just in. Gubbed one-nil by the mighty Jags)

*and Coatbridge and Cumbernauld and Bellshill and other parts of North Lanarkshire as well and they’re all Hyperbolic Syllabice Squedaly Mistic.

William Dafoe is 54. No. No reason.

So, conversation of the week? It took place today with a young female student (I don’t know how or why either. It just happens. Okay?) working part-time in Homebase who, in helping me find an appropriate ‘stop end’ (don’t ask), told me ‘I tried some welding once but it didn’t work out.’ Some follow-up questions, you don’t ask…..just in case.

Which brings me to Facebook. Y’see, I naively thought the ppl I was in touch with were either loosely academically linked or back to me and my BBC days. No. The latter link is Son Brian and BBC/media daze. Let me explain. Big breaths (and we all know that punchline) 🙂

I was talking to Dr Paul the World’s greatest quizmaster about Mollie Sugden’s pussy and Dr Paul once swopped football cards with Son Brian in Room 211 in Queen Margaret Drive which you can see from some benches in the Botanic Gardens, e, but not some others, when the conversation came to an end with someone saying that her boyfriend had produced the tribute prog to Mollie Sugden, which had gone out on BBC 2 that Saturday and I noticed that one of the other people was called Kevin, but not the blogmeister, who I inadvertently outed last week, but worry not Vampire Slayer cos your identity is safe with me, particularly after what I said  last week, in the same way I was beholden to my gd frnd Clr the day I told her to F**k Off in class (pause for breath while I think back fondly).

Anyway this Kev, who knows Heather C, top pop picker, once played football at Son Brian’s tenth birthday party, which was about four years after SB (and me) were called into the Beeb at very short notice one Boxing Day where Max allowed him to use equipment including editing with a razor blade and Tam Cowan told the rudest visual gag I have ever seen on radio (Why do monks have double chins?) but the Production Assistant was Pen Lee (the greatest smile in the history of the world) and not Shona who I met in town the other day (but also with great smile) who was my PA when Son Brian was about one month old and came into the Beeb and left with about £20, in the way that he always leaves the Beeb with money, and since you ask SB, clearly £5.50 at the moment…….professional fees. I blame Jayne. Not Jayme.

Any questions? And see what you’re missing if you’re not a Facebook friend of mine or Facebook fan of Janice Forsyth, purveyor of pure dead brilliant music.

And whilst everyone’s catching their breath, a quick word to Emma J….. thanks. I’ve never been asked that before. That was really nice. And thanks for your offer of taking in my washing (or did I mis-hear that?) but I checked. I have nine pairs of jeans in the pret-a-porter section of the wardrobe in the master bedroom (and the cheap point I could score but mum’s the word) and seven pairs in the overflow wardrobe in the West Wing.

And, get this, the new washing machine has a special programme for washing jeans!!!!!! Party, party, party!!!!!! Caitlin, as my personal shopper and bestest friend, is this not amazing news? And it does sports shoes, but I’ve only got trainers. Damn.

So, moving swiftly on, I wasn’t so taken with True Blood last night, but that titles sequence is fantastic and Tara is amazing.

Johnt850 will always be 42. No. No reason. But I also cook on three burners (eh?).

And Jayme and e are a year older as well, so Happy Birthdays. I’m just so glad I don’t age, and see what you’re missing, see – I think that’s quite clever, C – oh, never mind.

But I’d better finish soon as it’s almost time for my daily cagefighting workout at the Griphouse Gym, in Possil.

So, and finally, speaking of my brill support team; thanks to all those who asked. The PSA blood test was fine. I am okay for another few months. I don’t know why I worry. Just ‘cos, I suppose. C’est juste moi et je fais du souci pour tout le monde, c’est tout. 😉

But there’s a cancer online site to which I contribute. The heading for someone else’s thread? ‘Terminal but well‘. Perspective time? It’s your call. Please?


Johnt850, and see if people can get their hair cut short, then surely it’s only accurate to say that I get my hair cut long.


5 Responses to “I’m gonna take you out tonight, I’m gonna make you feel alright. I don’t have a lot of money but we’ll be fine. No, I don’t have a penny But I’ll show you a good time.”

  1. Dr Paul Says:

    Thanks for noticing that I am the world’s greatest quizmaster. It’s true. Apart from this obvious insight, your blog is approaching genius levels this week. It’s like James Joyce.

    Note: I haven’actually ever read James Joyce cos I’m a man of the people rather than an intellectual but I have read ABOUT what its like to read James Joyce and apparently this is what it’s like.

  2. johnt850 Says:

    I hate to be nit-picking again but technically we were discussing Mrs Slocombe’s pussy……but it doesn’t really stop the chaos theory of events over those two paras, does it?

  3. Kevin (but which one) Says:

    Hey Johnt850. I felt that this week’s True Blood hinted at a lot more than it revealed, and wasn’t as good as episode 1.
    I’m assured that it’s a slo-burner though, so stick with it. What’s with the barman turning into a dog?

    You’re probably not familiar with the World of Darkness vampires created by a chap called Marc Rein-Hagen, but he gave them a whole society and tribal loyalty and special abilities and stuff. True Blood strikes me as WoD meets Anne Rice – for me that can only be a good thing if done properly.

    Also, did I ever mention I’m an Airdrie boy born and bred?

  4. johnt850 Says:

    Listen Pretty Boy, (whichever)

    All the WoD stuff you cld ever want is on sale in Oxfam down Byres Road at the moment, but I take yr point. There used to be quite a strong Vampire movement in West of Scotland with magazine……..I’m getting Uddingston in my head. (eh?)

    Airdrie as a town is fine. It’s the football club (Death to the Diamonds)

  5. zenaon@gmail.com Says:

    Excellent article. There’s a lot of great information in this article, however I want to let you know something – I’m using Mac OS X with the circulating beta of Firefox, and the design of your blog is sort of bizarre for me. I could read the content, but the navigation doesn’t function so good.

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