Thought I ran into you down on the street, Then it turned out to be only a dream…..I remember the face, but I can’t recall the name, Now I wonder how whatsername has been.

And nobody go making any assumptions. There’s a few out there. But I heard Missie K telling someone the other day that my band of choice was Alabama 3 but I’ve kinda moved away from them when looking for angst-ridden addiction pop (a new genre, maybe, Heather, Emma?). So today’s band is Green Day from the American Idiot album. (New album is amazing)

But what really worried me in a really worrying week was a conversation with the Vampire Slayer aka the Torrance One, who posed the question; ‘What is happening to the world?’ Vampire Slayer, you are meant to be saving the world, not worrying about it! Too much time posing for the Paparazzi, me thinks.

No. Only one story this week and it happened on Tuesday. My gardener was over tending the estate’s lawns. He cuts a lot of grass in Summerston. (When I say ‘cuts a lot of grass’…… ).

Anyway the door bell rang and it was Ami from next door, 22 year old female student whose mum was one of my first visitors after Cold Turkey Sunday, which kinda epitomises the support team ethos, so why….? Aaaaaaaaaaaargh. Sorry. I was miles away.

I  had been summoned next door. My gardener had put a stone through their patio doors. Not deliberately, but had wheeched it with his strimmer from my garden straight through the glass, albeit unwittingly. It shattered but didn’t fall apart. Bit like myself at times.

But all the time a wee boy called Charlie continued to practise playing the piano. What a hero. And if only next door were an MP, they could just have claimed it all back on eckies (short for expenses…nothing else).

So. Yes. That is the story. And my gd frnd Clr and Caitlin, when I recently met up with BBC  Al (the blog’s resident expert on bad taste) not only did we sit down to discuss a recent visit to Pacific Quay, we tried to swop journalists’ expenses stories. We didn’t have any. Any BBC expense claim has/had to be signed off by at least two people before it gets anywhere near the virtual Cash Office. That’s the big difference between most expense claimers and MPs!!!

(First rule of journalistic expenses. If you use any hotel’s in-house services such as internal TV channels, mini-bar or ‘extra pillows’, then settle that bit of the bill separately. Safer in the long run.)

But can I, for once, pretend to be Guido Fawkes? No. I’m not going to comment on the injunction that may or may not have been served against the Telegraph on Thursday night by a former Defence Secretary….., nor am I going to say ‘didn’t the Telegraph get value for money for its £70,000?’

No. There was a time I might try and explain the system but there is no way that the ‘unforgiveable error’ can ever be forgiven. We can laugh at the trouser presses but the thousands being claimed for mortgages that no longer exist? That is a crime. It is not an oversight. The next time you’re caught in a first class compartment without paying the correct fare, ask to pay the difference. It doesn’t work, does it? 

Rant over. You can take your hands off your ears now unless you’re Vincent van Gogh. I’m back to being Johnt850, so lock up your daughters…..just in case 😀  

It’s okay. I’m miles away.

No.  I took the subway out of town late one Saturday night recently. My MP, Anne McKechin was on it. She put her Underground ticket in the Byres Road bin with the rest of us.

‘I walk a lonely road, The only one that I have ever known….

was the other Green Day lyric I was considering for today. So far, so good.

Actually there are some new dates in my diary. I exclusively revealed to Caitlin, for example, during the week that I’ve been invited to a reception in the House of Lords at the end of June. I’m not sure what it’s all about but it involves Glasgow University and some women. Yes, Auntie Jeanette, it intrigues me as well that most women see me as safe company but not for the reason you suggested. You weren’t the only one to do well in Gleneagles that night. Sorry. I was miles away. Perth.

And I am coming to Cumbernauld on Prostate Cancer business quite soon which will mean missing a key game for Clydebank (Death to the Diamonds) but, hey, to be where Missie K, my gd frnd Clr and the Dykeenies were brung up, and in a good cause…….See me, see speechless.  Watch blog for details next week. Lucky it’s not miles away. 

Incidentally, anybody wanting to be part of the audience at some TV recordings at PQ in June, check out In fact they’re also looking for contestants for some National Lottery programmes. So there you go.

Oh, and on the cancerly front, this time last year, with some fun prodding, I was reminding folks about the dangers of skin cancer. So, yes, I noticed that Michael Jackson has been diagnosed with it, but tucked away in a different edition of that newspaper was news that spending on skin cancer awareness campaigns, in parts of the country, has plummeted…yet cases are on the increase, like they’re doubling. Check out 

Is that okay?

Oh, and talking of good friends, a good looking mate (42 for the rest of his life…sorry Son Brian) has asked me to mention that some e-mails are coming in late to him or going into strange boxes. If it’s urgent, text or phone him. He doesn’t want to be thought rude especially if you’re an academic keeping him up to date with exams and essays, but be aware there are subjects out there that he does not know much about. When did they invent Ethics for Journalists? Right that’s enough public service broadcasting. 

And finally, and businessly, my thanks to Tracey, my new business adviser. I have now re-focussed the business (I was at a marketing seminar yesterday). I have no idea what that means, but your cheque arrived this morning.

Y’know I don’t know if my parents ever fully understood what I did in life, work wise, but I suspect they would have had the same view of me that Son Brian sometimes has. So can I just say I took one step towards maturity the other day? I bought a new tie rack and new plastic coat hangers from Poundstretcher. Now all I need is a tie. 



p.s. My folks might have mixed feelings about my reasons for a support team, but boy would they be amazed at its size. Particularly, this week, the Dundee branch. Serious Ta.

One Response to “Thought I ran into you down on the street, Then it turned out to be only a dream…..I remember the face, but I can’t recall the name, Now I wonder how whatsername has been.”

  1. Edmund Schrumpf Says:

    nice advice and sharing,I will buy one this fantastic pants for me .thanks

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