Stand by my side, and the pipe dream is yours now, Stand by my side And the cynics won’t get in our way

The Band? Starsailor and doesn’t the boy on the cover of their new album look very like me at an early age?

And those navigator specs? Mine, from not that long ago as spotted in a photie on my shelf by C, G, G and C twelve months past. Sticky toffee pudding rools okay. (No. I don’t remember the name of the featured track, strangely enuff, but I seem to be coping okay.)

Bytheway Heather C, it was to have been Teitur but the Starsailor album cover only just won it…and isn’t brilliant?

So this week, there’s no planned theme (is there ever?) The fact that the last few weeks discussed dogging, aspiring journos and Pippa (No. No connection) shows that you should always wait until the final paragraph before you look for such things. But what do I know?

So just a few questions and thoughts such as;

Why, given that I am now two years, two months, ten days and eleven hours without alcoholic drink (so far, so good and I’m not counting), did I wake up the other morning with my right arm covered in scratches that made me look as if I’d dragged myself through a rose bush, without any idea how they got there? Yes, I go drinking but tabasco sauce and tomato juice does not have that effect…..usually.

This afternoon’s locus was the Aragon, Byres Road, since you ask and, No, the staff didn’t recognise me from that previous time.

And why do so many ‘security consultants’ move from Summerston to Cumbernauld (Drumbowie View looks really nice) but why, when they get shot, do they come back here to get buried? Parking’s bad enough at the best of times and the worst of times. Not that I’m complaining. I’d never felt more secure.

And before anyone panics, the Googly Streetview thing only does Glasgow, Aberdeen and Edinburgh. So, the other day, I’d a really good look at my ‘quaint’, but reasonably sized, semi on the Internet. It doesn’t look too bad after all this time and I don’t think I need an extension just yet…just in case.

And I almost had a brilliant preview of the Doctor Who exhibition at Kelvingrove. Almost? Yes. I started off by looking at the Weeping Angels but was stuck there for eight hours until the lights were switched off. No idea what the rest is like. It’s an offer. It’s your call.

And can anyone tell me why, after I spledged £5 to Comic Relief by txt, they kept going for another 7 hours 59 minutes? (“Spledge” btw, BBC Steve is another Clr word. You spledged my gd frnd in last year’s Race For Life and you never even noticed!)

And in the week when all hell is breaking loose  because journalists write about their offspring, I’d like to say sorry.

Son Brian has a good job, a steady girlfriend and has never been thrown out of either family home. Sorry. I’m obviously a lousy role model.

And, Missie K, what is it with iTunes? I don’t expect it to understand the Dewey system of library classification but it doesn’t understand the bloody alphabet! The word ‘the’ seems to confuse it, and that compilation album I mentioned last week? It says Rough Trade Shops! That’s not the name of the album. It’s a weekend in London…for some. Not me obviously.

And can I say a wee thanks to Brian McNair of Strathclyde and Martin Boyle of Cardonald for letting me take a small part in the conversation this week about the future of student journalism. I’m sure my former colleagues at the Met had lots to say so I’ll just confine myself to quoting a sentence from Prof Brian. It’s only one sentence cos I don’t have shorthand (a big regret)…….’Newspapers may be dying, but journalism has never been in more demand.’

An hour later a journo friend of mine sent me a txt. He’s now a cutback. Consider the whisky a large one, E. 

Discuss using one side of a sheet of website only. But I share the confidence. I have to.

I’m too oldish to be an English teacher or a retail management trainee. But, hey, Bruce Springsteen’s only 59.

And Caitlin, I’ve started but am a long way from finished. Easter’s good for me cos I plan to have a break from blook and business and stuff. (All reasonable and unreasonable offers considered from any and everyone). I’ve bought (look away Son Brian) two new pairs of denims. I need other stuff.

And what is the point of Earth Hour other than lots of people bumping into each other in the darkness? Global warming is not necessarily a bad thing. Ask those villagers of the former Soviet Union who live close to the Arctic Circle and have longer growing seasons because of it. 

And what is it about women from Torrance that they have such flat stomachs? The Vampire Slayer’s is well documented but last week I met J (a married woman, hence……) and hers was just as…..I’ll move on shall I?

J is a TV director and I thought I was there to discuss some ideas coming out of the blook. J, I’m sorry. I thought you said forty-six year olds, not four to six year olds. It won’t work, will it? Stand down rainforest riverman and Clr. Children’s  TV we ain’t doing.

Incidentally J, I’m sorry. I have a loud voice. Do you think me discussing how rarely they use physical castration in prostate cancer treatment these days put that man off his spaghetti meatballs? What is it about me and that Garden centre? Yes. That one, Vampire Slayer, just up from the Dump, or the road to Summerston as you know it. 

And, so, nothing too serious on the cancerly front this week as I’m seeing my consultant soontime. I’ve a few questions to ask him but will I share the answers with you, dear listeners? Of course I will. Of course (Gulp, sob, gulp), and hopefully without the continued help of the Internet.

But I noticed that the man who played Darth Vader has just finished his sandblasting. He apparently lost ‘only some of the hair’ from the top of his legs. I lost all my pubic hair and very comfortable it was as well, particularly in warm weather. I’m sorry. It did happen. It does happen. It has grown back. Wonder if the tattoos are still there?

So there you go. Is the theme that there is no theme or is my idea of the theme different from yours or is there just no theme? All I know is I enjoyed writing it. Sorry.


Johnt850, digging out the Factor Thirty this weekend, C.

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