Hanging out with Scheme Eugene And blame the broken social scene What you don’t have you won’t miss it when you’re gone – Hope you change your mind

And if the message fits, wear it. Ach, maybe one day. I can wait. These days I’m a very patient man.

No, the opening music there is Scheme Eugene from Red Light Company and is from their new album and I’ve been waiting for it for a wee while for a wee reason. It brings back a good memory of the Summer.

Cos there I was down at Live at Loch Lomond watching them on the smaller stage (Groove Armada were on elsewhere and whatever delusions I may have about myself and my age, I am a not Groove Armada person), like me and twenty other people, and I’m hanging out, as it were, at the back looking every inch my thirty or so years, and this young lady comes up and she must have sussed me as one of the management, cos, after two minutes, she turned to me and said, “They your boys? They’re f***ing crap.” and moved on.

I’ve liked Red Light Company ever since.  So far, so good.

But it ties in with the sense of self revulsion I felt about myself this week. 

Y’see, I mentioned last week the need to distance The Word Process from the writer of this blog and so I decided to Google my name, Johnt850. I now wish I hadn’t.

Most of it is fine; links, through my signature, to this and other sites such as http://www.planet-holyrood.co.uk/ and The Maggie’s Cancer Care site but this one particular Google link turns out to be a confession. I did have occasion to post a comment on the blog of Lyndsay Cochrane, the Daily Record’s Top Teen Queen, a fairly innocuous one, and it was after she had done the same to me, so it was kinda tit for tat (am I allowed to say that?). It’s a blogging thang.

Okay, so I did see her in Queen Street Station last week (student journo, Rainforest Riverman, student journo) and I did go across and introduce myself to her cos I had met her once before, and then I ran out of things to say. I was awestruck in the presence of greatness. I was lost for words (which is not a great advert for The Word Process). I actually felt like a stalker.

Worse is to follow. Believe me, this is worser, possibly the worsest ever. I need strong tomato juice here…just in case. Gulp.

The next Google link on Johnt850 is to “Dogging Contacts In Airdrie” (listeners of a nervous disposition who do not know what “dogging” is should do their own google search but tell your neighbours first what you’re doing). I looked very briefly at the HomePage on this site and looked away amazingly quickly. I didn’t recognise anyone.

Seriously, I have never knowingly dogged (and only strong drink will explain that reference) and even if I did…. Airdrie? I’m sure it’s a very pleasant place but to me, it’s get off the train, get a taxi to the ground of the football team I hate most in the entire world (Death to the Diamonds) and back out again. Somehow in my blog relating to that game, I have suggested some connection to, that, well…..Never. Not me.

But now Googly, it looks as if Johnt850 is a pervy stalker, or is he/am I a stalking perv?

My gd frnd Clr and the blogmeister, when we started this blog, it was meant to be a force for good and fun in the land of  my treatment for cancer. Em, oops…….I’ll move swiftly on to matters more real and in the real world.

The Vampire Slayer had her photo in the paper this week, in The Times of Evening. I panicked. Had her cover been blown? (I think in the light of all that’s gone above a mild innuendo like that is okay, eh, Big Al, the BBC’s Top Taste Pal) But it was like what  Bruce Wayne does to convince people that he’s not really Batman. (Ooops, I’ve just blown his cover. No. No innuendo. I am, like, normal hetero, like, what is normal?)

No, the VS had completely fooled the paparazzi. She had done a tasteful glam shoot. But can I say, and please look away dear listener while I say this, and Missie K was there as well at the time, I thought your stomach looked pretty okay that day when we three met in the attic off Byres Road. C’est tout. I still think your mum’s pretty cool, btw.

Does anyone actually do that, y’know look away, when they say “you might want to look away now because here are the scores or scenes of violence.” (Or if it’s an Airdrie game, both)

So let’s talk a wee bit about the serious cancer stuff; I’d my blood taken last week ( a little prick) in order to get the PSA level checked before I see my consultant. It’s important cos it’s the only indicator men have of possible problems with the prostate (and they’re not necessarily cancer), but it’s no worse than giving blood which I used to do.

Claire, Jennifer and Shazia, a wee while back, made what could have been an award winning vid about giving blood, well, it would have been except for the scene with the nurse. I watched that entire scene looking at the blank wall, but what a script. No. It’s a fairly simple test, the PSA test. I’ll keep you posted.

Like I keep you posted on bits’n’pieces of my social life which saw me today witnessing the worst own goal I have ever seen, all season, and down at the Mitchell Library listening to Nick Davies and Bob Fisk, but I’m going to do a separate edition of the blog about that cos it, and a couple of other things, have raised a number of issues for those considering a journalistic career. So, give me a couple of hours and there’ll be another blog for you under this name as well as this one…if you dare read the words of Johnt850 ever again.

And for those considering a career in radio, can I recommend the whimsy that is FM on ITV 2 on Wednesday night? That is if you like your whimsy addled with drink, drugs, sex and rock’n’roll. It rang a few bells with me; Toyah Wilcox, a lousy chat up line and an addiction group meeting that bore no semblance to the only one I ever attended.

And if you do watch the final scene from last week, I have never, ever done that on a bus, and definitely, never, ever in Airdrie.

Now let’s just check. Have I done enough to protect the good name of Johnt850?  “Dogging”, “vampire”, “sex”, “nurse” and “Airdrie”……I don’t think I’ll bother switching on the Spam filter tonight. I’ll be fine.


Johnt850, already feeling a little bit moreish.

2 Responses to “Hanging out with Scheme Eugene And blame the broken social scene What you don’t have you won’t miss it when you’re gone – Hope you change your mind”

  1. Blogmeister Says:

    Airdrie is not a nice place. Trust me, I grew up there. The thought of “Dogging Contacts” there is a scary one…truly.

  2. johnt850 Says:

    There is a small part of me, well a reasonably sized part of me, that is tempted to Google something like “Dogging Contacts in Maryhill” but can you imagine…….?

    Strong tomato juice, even at this time of day……I need one and I need it now

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: