Oh mama kiss my name I am trying to be sane I’m trying to kiss my friends And when broken, make amends

Beautifully wrist slitting music there from Anthony & The Johnsons; a suggestion from Missie K and can I just say many thanks to her and the Vampire Slayer for a brill afternoon just off Byres Road the other day? No vampires in Ashton Lane that Tuesday. Just a lorra lorra laughs.

Better than the Blues brothers are the R’n’B Sisters. But what do I know? (And for older listeners who really don’t know….R’n’B refers to Rihanna and Beyonce….it’s an MTV thang)

And I never knowingly break a confidence. What was discussed in the attic stays in the attic. And that was such a fun sentence to write I have no intention of explaining it. And I plan to keep it that way; keeping it fun is good.

But it’s been an interesting week, he says in that boring way that many bloggers have, but it has, he says in that defensive way that many bloggers have.

I began by putting my PC in to get upgraded, upspeeded and a lot of useless stuff removed but the guy at the bottom of Byres Road who was to do it for me couldn’t get his car to start so I had to drive over to him to help battery start his car which saw me blocking half of Byres Road whilst it happened. Which was bad enough but I have no idea where the catch to release my car bonnet to get into my engine lives. “Your battery’s flat. Why, what shape should it be?” applies to me.

However, I am very happy with the new position of the steering wheel. If I could only work out how to move the driver’s seat.  And I am very happy with the PC. 3-d makes such a difference to some of my regular sites.

And the week also finished with some good news for the Rainforest Riverman, whose corner shop seems to be doing well. Altho’ I did notice in one paper that you’re going to be stocking groceries. However apples don’t interest me. I’m quite happy with my PC.

It’s a shame that that student you employed at Christmas is still spreading ill-founded gossip. Bums and tax-dodgers the lot of them, says he who has not done a day’s paid employment since last March. It’s the way banks keep giving me money. Albeit unwittingly. But gratefully received.

….and other things from them as well. I recently received a letter from them asking me to reply to the Central Fulfilment Unit in Birmingham. So I’ve made up a wish list. Fingers’r’crossed.

Oh, and I was talking to my gd frnd Clr the other day about multi-tasking. No. No connection. Can I just say I manage beauty and brains at the same time? But you’ll learn. You have youth on your side. Gulp, sob, gulp.

As for the rest of the week….at one time in my life Iwas PR consultant to Celtic Football Club and during a management interregnum, I used to tell sports journos that “Nothing continues to happen”. (Ultimately I announced Liam Brady as manager. To all Celtic fans, I didn’t choose him, altho’ to be honest I did have a hand but only strong drink will drag the true story out of me)

Anyway, I had some good news recently when someone told me that all my offers were continuing to be ignored. This is progress. I feel I have discovered the tunnel. The light at the end of it can only be a matter of time. So far, so possibly getting closer.

“I refer you, members of the jury, to the first track on the album, Cammell Laird Social Club by the popular beat combo, Half Man, Half Biscuit.” It might just be an oncoming train.

But referring there to a previous work experience, can I almost act my age? (Son Brian has given me an extension on line drawing but it will cost me a lunch. There’s a surprise. And well done, B, on passing that tax exam. I know some students who’d like advice)

Oh God! I’ve just bitten into a clove of garlic that was in amongst the brazil nuts. Jeez. Seriously. Don’t think I’ll bother with my new glowstick down the Arches tonight. That’s honking. Yeeugh! Excuse me, a second…….

Anyway, I’d like to point out a BBC 4 prog on Thursday night called It’s Time To Go Nationwide. I worked on the programme Nationwide. (I was very young). I must be the only person who ever worked on it whose favourite Frank Bough story does not involve drugs or prostitutes. And Sue Lawley once kissed me. Nae tongues, tho’.

And the skateboarding duck film actually won an award. I know people who worked on the sequel, but unfortunately they killed the duck before they filmed it, accidentally of course. My own fave piece of filming (true story) for Nationwide involved putting a panto horse into a field of real horses, or as we discovered very quickly, a field of stallions in heat. Oh, how we laughed. Well, the people inside the panto horse didn’t. We settled out of court.

Which kinda brings me to this week’s cancergytis news, but only kinda. I was going to mention the news report (The Sun) that frequent sexual activity in their 20s and 30s makes men more likely to develop prostate cancer, and do so with a quiet smirk on my face.

Except I heard three stories earlier this week; one from a man who’s waited five or so years for a benign prostate problem to turn into full blown cancer before he can get treatment; one from the wife of a man who had to get virtually untested surgery before current remission; and one from a man given a prognosis of six months, who decided to make big changes to his diet. That was several years ago and he’s still here. Well obviously, if I was talking to him earlier this week. 

My own story is so simple in comparison and my next check up is not until March. Even then, news that someone I know had a scare over what was supposed to be a routine check up but, after some horrible stuff (but good descripto words) got an all clear, fully removed my smirk but replaced it with a huge smile. You know who you are.

And finally for those of you who missed the broadcast of the Skins dialogue I referred to last week, it went as follows;

“I mean it’s just inexplicable.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I just can’t explain it.”

“Well, suit yourself.”                                    

(Skins exclusive, Caitlin (how was your reportage, btw?)…..a song by Aberdonian Amy Sawers features in Episode Seven. Apparently it’s about Aberdeen’s nightlife. Suddenly Anthony and the Johnsons seem a fun band)

There is just so much good writing around at the moment. It’s seriously, like,  well, good to read. I just hope the blook is as good but we’re close, team, we’re close. Final draft version and beginners, please.


Johnt850, the scourge of Airdrie’s Section B. We chased them all the way into Section J, y’know. Do I have to act my age, btw? 🙂 It’s a football thang.

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