clean up your eyes and i’ll dance alone with you in daylight. your skin reminds me of sleeping on the clouds in my mind

The Dykeenies, one of the three best things ever to come out of Cumbernauld. I never really liked Gregory’s Girl and much preferred That Sinking Feeling. (So that leaves Missie K and my gd frnd Clr as the other two).

I also preferred Restless Natives to Local Hero (I know RN wasn’t Forsyth) and I love the video that goes along with this track, Clean Up Your Eyes, although I must say the one and only A.A. meeting I went to was nothing like that.

Although I must also say that that meeting was obviously so right for everyone else who went there. I have different coping mechanisms in place now, and so far, so good. 

Sorry, I’m being a wee bit arty-farty today as I’m going through to the Edinburgh Book Festival this week. I’m taking the bookwriting seriously and am going to a publishers’ event. (BookFest strapline? “a book is like a garden carried in the pocket”. And to think my mum used to complain about the dirt she found in my pockets).

I’ll be taking my new e-notebook thing with me and my thanks to people already sending me details of my alcoholic gap year.

Although the comment by one of a group of four Mates that they thought I was “off my rocker” the first day I tutored them in College is not going in the book. It’s going on my CV. And you, Miss Camper Van 2007, are now one of my referees in my search for work, albeit unwittingly.

(C, of the High Horse Level Committee with the all powerful twelve votes, is out of the country so I might sneak in an extra hat-tip or two. Well I would, if I knew what that meant. But thanks, C, for offering to copy taste).

So a quick thanks to the Vampire Slayer for the e-mail telling me you were doing the ironing (not my ironing, I should point out, but hey, Torrance isn’t that far way). I suppose even superheroes need to do that kind of thing from time to time….just in case.

Post decorators, I’ve been enjoying my own wee bit of domesticity – you should see the front room, it’s brill – but thinking about the book, I’ve been reminded of my own student years and some of the flats I lived in. We got the salmon fishing rights for free and there was hot and cold water, running down the walls. Bower Street, anyone?

Lambrusco anyone? And can Hirondelle now be that far behind?

And on the cancer front? Fairly quiet this week. There was yet another suggestion as to the beneficial properties of broccoli and a reminder that skin creams might not be all they’re cracked up to be but we’ve mentioned those before. It should, however, be pointed out that the mice involved, hopefully different from last week’s cannabis smoking mice, were described as having “thin skin and (were) kept in the dark”. It’s called working for a living.

No. My favourite cancer comment came from meek, mild-mannered comedian Frankie Boyle, who revealed that the word “cancer” is now available on predictive txt on yr mbl, although I think we might still be a long way from his suggestion of “I’ve got cancer lol :)”. But it could yet happen.

It was revealed this week how much time we spend texting, phoning, surfing, e-mailing and so on. I know some people worry about these things and I do have concerns about spelling and grammar, but it is good to talk.

But I was interested to read that the number of people using the ‘net to find the phone number of a chippie has dropped by 43%. C’mon. Has anybody out there ever used the ‘net for such a purpose, or even publicly listed phone numbers as available in BT directories, to find a chip shop?

I still have those real Chinese blog addresses, by the way.

Incidentally I have often considered putting that thing on my e-mails asking people to confirm whether or not they’ve received them. But what if people didn’t reply? I’d only worry.

But speaking of predictions, we were way ahead with the coxless four gag (“but they had to do it the hard way”) and nobody’s complaining about the fact that there are too many BBC people in China now we’re winning medals. However a big thanks to the Murray Brothers for releasing all those people who might have been caught up covering the tennis.

So looking ahead, can I recommend a TV prog called “The Secret Millionaire” on Tuesday in which Nick Leslau (possible anagram, Gok?) helps “vulnerable people in the most deprived areas of Britain’s poorest city”; the Possil and the Milton. That’s on the other side of the now vampireless graveyard from me. Maybe you’ll see my house in the distance.

But he also visits the riding stables just along the road from my mansion on the hill. (Home amongst other things to Riding For The Disabled, the riding stables that is, not my mansion) Yes. Just along the road. Just past Kenny the Shed Pimp’s house and keep going down to the right. 

Just think, anyone who likes riding along the likes of Turnberry beach, you could go riding in Summerston, although I would recommend a fast gallop past the Acre Road flats. Mind you, I suspect the horses know that. Dressage not recommended. You should see what happened to the last My Little Pony convention.

Meanwhile discussions continue about upgrading this blog to a full website allowing other wannabe writers a chance to publish their own works. There is a technical problem. Me. But I am being worked upon.

However, can I mention that the diaries of the great George Orwell (1984 and Animal Farm) are now being reproduced on a daily basis ? Wow. Not only has blogging been mentioned on the same pages of one major academic tome in the same breath as Tom Wolfe, but now Orwell is one of us.

So in a more cultural blog than usual I would like to finish with this quote from the prestigious New Statesman’s Sports column. (Yes, Stevie Boy, the same mag in which Shazia Mirza wrote about appearing in her knickers and pyjamas on the Fred MacAulay radio show at the EdinFest. You did send those e-mails, by the way, didn’t you?)

Emma John writes, “In the fast-moving culture of blogging the views of professional commentators are going to be challenged as never before. That is, of course, only an opinion.”

I agree with Emma, but there again, what do I know?


Johnt850, a wannabe dingledodie….Awwwww!


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