Held my freedom in my empty open hand Waved to people like they all would understand That we all make mistakes from time to time But every moment I’m awake I’m making mine

Or maybe no longer. Just now and again. The Infadels, there, one of the bands I’m looking forward to seeing a week on Saturday at Loch Lomond but Parfery person, my RockFest guru, I’ve received no ticket as yet. Should I be worried? Not as long as there are plastic stirrers to be smoked. Remember me and them, anyone?

Now, there was something I wanted to say today. Thanks for musical suggestions, by the way, Blogmeister. No. That wasn’t it. That was just random. His choices by a band called Four Star Mary? Dilate, Pain and Thrown to the Wolves. At least when Gary McD told me to Comply or Die it was the name of a horse, not a modern day equivalent of Hung, Drawn and Quartered.

Ah yes. My car’s been fixed. And can I say how much I enjoyed driving along the leafy Balmuildy Road with Aerosmith blaring out on Rock Radio, child like enthusiasm, indeed, Moira, with my brand new shiny bumper? Listen, M. So far, so good. So thanks. Good luck in the Possil.

No. It wasn’t that. Was it the fact that I went to a drab, boring, pre-season Partick Thistle friendly where the chat was all about the holidays and how one fan had cried at the end of a Harry Potter audio book on holiday in the Algarve? All those yachts, eh? Kay-J. The offer still stands.

Yes. The game was awful. So I’ll be back this Saturday. The “casual crew” I’m teaming up with are known as “The Partick Thistle Luncheon Club”. The cry? “We are Red, We are Yellow and we have come to taste your truffles” strikes fear throughout Scotland, including the streets of Broadwood, albeit unwittingly.

No. There’s a top BBC producer (now will you write to those students, Stevie Boy?), a Herald journo, two Comedy Unit producers and an Art Gallery curator, John-Paul (See, C’s mum. I know the right people. It’s C’s call but no hurry),there amongst others which is why the shout of F**k Off Burnley was delivered with just a hint of post modernist irony.

Actually it was such a lazy evening that even the guys offering to watch my car were doing so from a third floor window. I’d rather watch paint dry. There’s the door bell. (This is thought through)

No. It wasn’t that. But can I just say, Missie K, beware of Vampire Slayers bringing gifts six weeks after the event. And, my good friend Claire, how often do you play the original? (Mmm. No vowel problem there. Is that a clue, I wonder?).

It’s all in the power of the keyring. (Last week’s magic beans didn’t work).

And that door bell ringer there was the wallpaper man coming to give me an estimate for decorating the walls of the front room that go all the way (lucky them) up to the top of the house. Now is that me planning for the future or spending my son’s inheritance…..just in case?

So. Did I do anything special this last few days? Of course. Silly me. I went to the Clyde River Festival and did a wee trip on a boat which is why my face is so red. Nothing to do with hot tomatoes, Kev C, just not enough Factor 60. But be aware, be very aware. And that cherry is mine, if it’s going.

No. Remember, Emma J, when we were discussing buying a flat down Glasgow Harbour area. No. Not together. It was a student journalistic exercise, folks. All those posh people use the balconies for is to hang out their washing on clothes horses! Gosh. They’re just like us. Only richer.

And by the way, the B52s are older than me.

And those of you thinking about doing some reality writing for Days Like This…I saw this wee ad in the ASDA. Honest, C, and one or two others: “Size 14 wedding dress. Never worn.” Serious. I did. No. I didn’t wear a….never mind.

Was it the fact that I bumped into the world famous actress, Steff, resting, between engagements, by waiting at tables in Ashton Lane? New series of High Times starts this Thursday. Well worth watching, she tells me. And so’s the new series. 

Maybe it was the Herald Diary, which used to pay, Dave, and the title of Hamish Imlach’s favourite country song; Take Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Darling, I’m Kissing You Goodbye.”

Goodbyes, farewells, mmm. There’s a bell ringing. Beautifully played, if I may say so, by the fabulous percussionist Laura F. Wait a minute! LF! Of course. You’ve reminded me. The video! Small pricks! Big injections! My visit to the cancer consultant! (A mask has slipped momentarily).

Yesterday, son of mine, Brian and Bruce, my driver, came along with me to the Beatson where son of mine and I went into see Dr Mahmood. The consultant’s really profound words?

“I think your new spectacles are really trendy.” My son was violently sick. C’mon, what is wrong with having a dad who’s young, mid-forties, cool and with long hair, who pays money into your bank account every month? Okay, in my dreams, apart from the monthly donation…..and the long hair.

And finally, the consultant’s other words? “You’re all clear. See you in four months’ time.”  There is no cancer, at the moment. There is no need for the big injections I was truly expecting.  He said a few other things as well but they can wait until the weekend.

You see, I also said “Farewell” today to the addiction centre I’ve been visiting monthly for the last eighteen months or so. I will always be a tomato juice drinking “recovering alcoholic”, but thanks to so many people too numerous to mention, and I did try today, I am kinda back to what I once was, long-haired but, this time, no highlights. Just “Clean”.

Other thanks will follow, elsewhere. But to all, serious thanks and “keep it fun”.

Chapter One of the Blog finished today. Chapter Two starts this weekend. I have reached my word count limit.

cya and tc


12 Responses to “Held my freedom in my empty open hand Waved to people like they all would understand That we all make mistakes from time to time But every moment I’m awake I’m making mine”

  1. Kev G (the Blogmeister) Says:

    Congratulations on the all clear, John. Best news I’ve heard all month!
    Certainly more noteworthy than the headline which caught my eye on an Evening Times sandwich board last week: “CRASH HELMET SAVES GIRL” it read.

    Now, I’m not saying that’s not good news – for clearly there’s a little girl still alive and playing somewhere – but surely to God that happens numerous times every day; I thought that’s what crash helmets were for. On the back of this I’m condsidering submitting an exciting new piece to The Herald. It’s called “KETTLE BOILS WATER.”

    Anyway- Congrats again, I hope this doesn’t mean the blog is going to dry up?

  2. Johnt850 Says:

    You raise a good question, blogmeister.
    Somewhere there’s a zen guide which may have the answer; alternatively, the Torrance One – the Vampire Slayer has left a cple of the undead zombies in the graveyard. I can ask them. Or maybe there’s an Alabama 3 song with the answer.
    Sunday will see.
    But could the kettle dry up before I do?

  3. Brian McBride, the capitalist running dog Says:

    Excellent news indeed all round! Dry and clear, sounds like a Glasgow summer day. (You did get one thsi year, didn’t you…?)

    Delighted for you, even if it means we all need to keep reading the blog! 🙂

  4. Johnt850 Says:

    Thsi year and every year.
    One good reason for the blog continuing wld be if you started listening to the music mentioned.
    Or don’t you get a discount?
    Mind you I do like “dry and clear”. We’ll see.

  5. Gary "The Priesty Punter" Says:

    Timmy Murphy and good old Comply or Die will be back next season, just like yourself John. The other great thing about the horse is the fact it wears blinkers meaning it only looks forward, something I’m sure you will be doing and why not.
    I’ll keep you up to date with any bets although lately it has been a bit of a struggle. To be honest stick with Irish trainer Aiden O’Brien in all the big Group One races for the rest of the season, the guys got it sussed.

  6. Johnt850 Says:

    Actually the frames on these new spex are like wearing blinkers. I explained to my next door neighbour that I was worried about mutant turtles creeping up on me from the side. She just looked at me. I wonder why.

  7. Dennis Kelly Says:

    Outstanding John- I am delighted for you. Shows that prayer does work. I need your permission now to switch focus for divine intervention back on to Celtic for the forthcoming season.
    Made my day this has. Well done and speak soon

  8. Johnt850 Says:

    S’pose so, especially given the number of Celtic directors, past and present I’ve known over the years plus all the guys at the Met College, all now in the same room. Yeah. Alright and ta.

  9. JP Says:

    I am so pleased that your glassess went down well with the consultant. I could tell you’d been nervous about his judgemental gaze being cast over you.
    Smart arsery aside I am very pleased to hear you have recieved the all clear. The Germans have an actual word which expresses the sentiment of taking pleasure form someone elses experiences. I don’t know exactly what it is but if i did i would have simply typed that into this little box and been on my merry way.

  10. Johnt850 Says:

    I hate to be a smartass but before C gts in there, the word is schadenfreude. But thanks also for good wishes. cya

  11. Alaster P Says:

    Great news on the all clear John!
    The important question is: Who’d play you in the movie?

  12. Johnt850 Says:

    Once upon a time I’d have said Robert Redford. I don’t know. Maybe a thoughtful Chuck Norris?

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