Particle man, particle man, Doing the things a particle can. What’s he like? It’s not important. Particle man

Yes, folks, this is from the same album as Whistling in the Dark and other great tracks by They Might Be Giants including Someone Keeps Moving My Chair and Hearing Aid. I can’t believe I once played this album to a room full of beautiful women (G,G, C and C)! What a prat! No. This CD’s going down to the Oxfam, Byres Road on Saturday morning, Oonagh. 

And talking of beautiful women…..(How seamless, how cheesy)

I am no longer known as the Posh Man down the sandblasting centre. I am The Womaniser. (Laurie, there was no need for a hoot of derision there. I’ll have you know there is one regular, female, reader who, in an e-mail, once described me as a “stud”. You know who you are)

Anyway, it’s because I took the real smiley Carol out for lunch last Friday. I had, therefore, to show what I was capable of, and, when the opportunity presented itself, I came out with the superb line, “Those can’t be great grandchildren’s clothes you’re knitting. You look too young to be a great gran.” No. Dear readers, a gentleman does not tell. And, no, dear readers I have never used that line before. Not even down the old Savoy Centre on “Grab a Granny” night. 

And any student bringing their mums to the End of Pier Show at the Met this week….watch and learn. Actually, I might already know them. Worrying eh, Cathcart minor.

Sad moment today, as Marie Therese leaves. It was a natural assumption she was a Rangers fan, okay? How was I to know any different? Good luck, hen. Knock ’em dead in the Benefits Centre.

For me, touch wood, I finish on Friday, and, no matter what, there will be a slightly different blog on Sunday. Normal service will resume next Wednesday….just in case.

Elsewhere, and to the pedestrian I nearly knocked down on the way out of the sandblasting centre yesterday. If you want to walk in a diagonal line and there’s a white W reg Megane charging all over the place with 2-4-6-8 Motorway blaring out of the cassette system, you deserve all you get. I have the power of the blue, man cancer badge behind me. I am The Womaniser. (Sorry, Torrance One I want to be my own super hero this week)

Maybe I should get a personalised number plate, but not one you really should change every year as you get older. What do you reckon, Laura F? (That was clever wasn’t it, C? The way I protected your identity, there. Good, eh?)

Oh, and speaking of the man cancer. Plug time. Sir Ian McKellen will be making an appeal on behalf of the Prostate Cancer Charity on Radio 4 this Sunday morning and next Thursday afternoon. It’s a subject close to my heart. Well, actually, it’s further down the body than that, and, okay, since you have been wondering since last blog, yes, I am losing my hair there, but in this recent hot weather?…. not necessarily a bad thing.

And the website is (Suzy, are you sure Catherine is not a figment of your fevered imagination? And is it really in your job description to say things like “Not long now.” Have you been reading this blog?)

I’m afraid my finances are tied up in the spledge I’ll be making, once my treatment is over, to my gd frnd Clr’s run in Race For Life (slight vowel problem this morning, sorry. This coffee will help.)

Incidentally I’ve bumped into a couple of former students recently, both thoroughly enjoying journalism and stuff at Strathclyde University (although there are other good universities available). One of them, Bazza, was in getting his ear checked out at the hospital having fallen over recently. Yes, he was drunk. Ah, the legacy of teaching.

Oh, and Bazza, your old Morrison’s mate, my son, Brian, was asking after you. His golf handicap is now 14. (Mine used to be my clubs). And almost the end of the week for all people taking exams and stuff. So, why, Brian, were you out on the golf course yesterday?

And finally, for those of you who worry that you don’t understand every nuance and every cranny of this blog, can I refer you to the patronising words of this week’s Radio Times when discussing satellite settings for Freesat? “Readers who are baffled by this needn’t worry about it!”

You’re thick and you know you are, you’re thick and you know you are……ad infinitum



7 Responses to “Particle man, particle man, Doing the things a particle can. What’s he like? It’s not important. Particle man”

  1. Kev G Says:

    Losing hair down there is not, in fact, a bad thing. I happen to know – thanks to losing a particularly silly Stella fuelled wager – that once trimmed it all looks, well….more impressive down there.

    Not that it wasn’t already, you understand….

  2. johnt850 Says:

    These days everything seems to come down to presentation and not content…it’s worrying!

  3. Claire Says:

    Can I have the CD?

  4. johnt850 Says:

    Eh? But I had you marked down as a woman of taste and refinement and stuff. Em, yes. I’ll bring it in on Tuesday and try and fight my way past the admiring crowds. Let me know if anything else caught your fancy that night!

  5. Claire Says:

    Someone Keeps Moving My Chair
    The title makes me laugh every time. That’s all I’ll say.

  6. johnt850 Says:

    CD for Claire, and not taxi for Claire, is now in the diary. I’ll even wrap it!

  7. Kev G Says:

    They Might Be Giants are one of those bands where you know more of their songs than you think you do. Especially if you watched Tiny Toon Adventures in the 90’s.

    Istanbul (Not Constantinople): (best line ever – “why did constantinople get the works? That’s nobody’s business but the Turks’)

    Particle Man:

    And of course they did the Malcolm in the Middle theme.

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