Well I can see her now, drinking with the boys Breaking their hearts like they were toys She used to love to party, she used to love to go, I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll, I knew………

Although to be honest, I didn’t but I wish I had done. More of the wedding of the year anon but why are all the good women spoke for? Answers, please……(Do you know I’d 18 spams to delete today before I started writing?)

So back at the sandblasting centre and an emotional farewell between me and the wee man from Falkirk, not the big Slag Off everyone expected. I almost missed him but was told he was asking after me. I ran after him and told him to “keep it fun”. Funny how both of us had specks of dirt in our eyes at the same time.

And who would have thought that my newest, bestest friend of recent weeks would be a seventy seven year old man who called me the ******* posh **** from Maryhill?

Oh, and I may be in trouble down the centre. I’d the last of my big jags yesterday (Did we ever establish, C, whether Laura F reads this?) and they can make me as high as a high thing. Plus, as part of phase 2 I get some extra lasering. All of which……so when the nice young lady radiotherapist complemented me on how good I was staying still while lying on my back I replied…….Well, let’s just say, I replied.

I won’t be able to look her in the face ever again. Mind you, given what they’re doing to me, it’s not as if they’re looking me in the face either. She’ll probably be dipping her hands in a bucket of ice today before seeing me.

Plus for all prospective journalists out there, I had a fascinating fifteen minutes or so listening to some of the other customers remembering their time in National Service (For once you can use Wikipedia). It’s all noted down for use at a later stage…..a real journey back in time. A wee bit like doing the time warp again, Siobhan.

And elsewhere there’s still no sign of either the Torrance One  – the Vampire Slayer or Kenny, the shed pimp. Hang on, you don’t think? Because they’ve never been seen together. Worry not, dear reader, I have seen them apart (if you know what I mean) and, as I’ve come to realise recently, size can make a difference.

And what about my good friend clr (vowels are definitely settling) you ask. Well, as well as colleging hard, like so many others, she seems to be dabbling in the world of sticky backed plastic and pipe cleaners, hoping to be a Blue Peter presenter….just in case.

Now, come on Irene. (Hey. Good title for song. Oh. Did they?) Not only do you know who Tommy Cooper was, you told me you used to go out with him when he played the Glasgow Empire. I was very young at the time when you told me that. “How was he?”, I’d ask. “Just like that.”, you’d reply. (Younger readers, don’t worry)

Tennis is definitely catching on in the area. I saw a man down by the railway line the other day (I live on the other side of the track but I suppose that depends on what side of the track you live on) and he was carrying a tennis racquet, a tennis ball and had a rottweiller type dog by his side.  A wee word of advice to Mel, the tennis coach. Teach the rottweiller first. You know it makes sense.

Meanwhile back at the wedding of the year, which is taking place at a secret location outside Glasgow. What, I asked? There is life outside Glasgow? (Just saying that, means the Young (?) Cumbernauld Fleet will be after me again).

I hope, e, that the rumours that the catering is being provided by the establishment formerly known as “48” are untrue. Mmm, chips’n’cheese and curry sauce. And is it true that Jame Blount (he and I go back a long way) is providing the music? Well, as long as he’s not playing as well!

No. Good luck to you and yr man, c, on Saturday. Some guys don’t know how lucky they are. Ceteris paribus, I shall be there but, if not, I will have a man in the trees, watching yr big day. Have a good time and thanks. (For what, dear reader, shall always remain a secret.)

And finally, I notice that Aberdeen Football Club are releasing a footballer called Dave Bus. Apparently, in the first five games he played for Aberdeen’s first team, they lost 16 goals. No. They haven’t given a reason for letting him go.



4 Responses to “Well I can see her now, drinking with the boys Breaking their hearts like they were toys She used to love to party, she used to love to go, I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll, I knew………”

  1. jackthenipper Says:

    Now now, Mr 850, just because their floors were a bit skitey and “How may I help you” was pronounced “Whityewanntin” (drop the two ‘T’s for total accuracy) that’s no reason to be rude about the 48.

    The did a great line in cheese burgers last year, you remember – it was just around the time Glasgow City Council announced a decline in the city center rodent population….oh, wait….

  2. Johnt850 Says:

    To be honest the thing I most remember about it was the fact that students don’t seem to know to queue so it was dead easy to walk to the front no matter how busy it was and get some reasonably good soup…but the chips smelt good, partic in the lift going up to sixth floor cos students don’t know how to press for a lift properly either so it kept stopping!!!

  3. jackthenipper Says:

    The chips smelt good? What, did they have a particularly high iron content or something?

    What would one fashion from molten chips? Answers on a comment to the usual address…

  4. Brian McBride, the capitalist running dog Says:

    I see you mentioned the Glasgow Empire, the scourge of the UK stand-up comics. My favourite line about the Glasgow Empire, was that they left no turn unstoned.

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