Under this national rain cloud I’m getting soaked to the skin, Trying to find my umbrella but I don’t know where to begin

The wise words of KT Tunstall there, particularly appropriate for all bloggers inundated with comments on the minutiae of the marketing of pan scourers and supermarket kiosk assistants. So, where to start?

Why not back at the sandblasting base where all this began? Y’know how one of the major complaints about dentists’ and doctors’ surgeries is the fact that all the magazines for reading are old copies of Reader’s Digest. Well no such problem for us. We read, when not discussing each other’s symptoms, up to date copies of “Shooting Times – a Country Magazine”, this month with a “Better Stalking” insert.

Funny, living in North Maryhill, I’d missed out on that particular issue…..too busy dodging the bullets, I suppose, on my own estate. Hunting and shooting rights available on application.

However, let’s hear it for one of my colleagues down the Centre who had to cope with an unusual problem, as yet, unbeknownst to me. He was caught short, know what I mean, whilst driving and happened to have one of those bags with him, know what I mean, which he managed to fill, with one hand still on the wheel before managing to find a safe parking place. British ingenuity, eh! 

However, that’s fifteen down and twenty two to go for me, and the envy we all felt towards the wee man from Hamilton who finished yesterday?….or was it hatred? Mmmm. No, surely not.

And I’ve become aware of medical staff close to the Sandblasting Centre who are aware of my identity. Much respect for anonymity, please guys. Some stories about medical students are true but should remain in the closet, as it were.

Elsewhere, My search for recompense for all those N.I. stamps I’ve paid for over the years continues. (Younger readers, ask people even older than me. They do exist….not the stamps, the people. And, okay C, I promise not to use the prefix young again where you are concerned…just in case) Anyway, where was I? Apparently I shouldn’t have been on Job Seekers Allowance in the first place. I should be on Incapacity Benefit, thus adding to the numbers claiming that benefit in my part of Glasgow at a time when the Government is trying to cut those numbers back. I do understand the global rationale (sorry Dennis, big words and, yes, I would rather have Radio Clyde than Radiotherapy) but individually, have I lost money? We’ll wait and see.

It’s now pouring with rain and I have to question whether or not to have my usual walk in the cemetary across the road where I now know there are no Zombies,… C, G. G and C…are you listening, sticky toffee pudding ladies?….. only vampires. I may have the proof. But can I reveal it? Only time will tell.

Finally, I started with KT Tunstall. Can I finish by wishing Katie, who can spell the whole name, a happy twenty-first party this Friday? Ta. cya there.

cya the rest of you soon


5 Responses to “Under this national rain cloud I’m getting soaked to the skin, Trying to find my umbrella but I don’t know where to begin”

  1. claire Says:

    I don’t find any comfort in hearing that there are vampires AND zombies nearby, John. I fear for your safety.

    Thank you to those who have sponsored me for the race for life it is greatly appreciated.

    John, you can leave them alone now.

  2. Johnt850 Says:

    But no werewolves…..not yet, anyway

  3. Dennis Kelly Says:

    I am sick and tired of all those intellectually challenging lyrics at the beginning of your idle musings so I have attached some with real meaning – from the Wurzels. Somebody needs to bring some class to this Blog.

    I drove my tractor through your haystack last night
    (ooh aah ooh aah)
    I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet
    (ooh aah ooh aah)

    Take care my friend.

  4. Johnt850 Says:

    But does the pitchfork have any effect on the zombies and vampires? I need to know…just in case.

  5. Kev G Says:

    You have to get zombies in the brain so use your pitchfork on their noggins like you’re eating spaghetti – stab ‘n’ twist….stab ‘n’ twist.

    But vampires? Don’t be silly….everyone knows they don’t exist.

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